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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's in big trouble

297 replies

skatermom · 29/08/2023 06:45

My 14 year old daughter went out into town with her friend yesterday afternoon being bank holiday Monday. We live in a small village and she walks everywhere mostly. This time, they decided to get on the train and thought she would buy a ticket on the train. Her friend has a season ticket due to taking a train for school.
Well, the train conductor gave her a penalty notice for £50 and that a letter will be sent to her address as to what to do.

The problem is that she said she was not about to give her name and address to a stranger so she gave them a false name AND address!
So we will never receive said letter!
I've been so worried because I know it's an offence to not have a ticket but a worse one to give false details. I'm sure it's a criminal offence!
I'm so worried that she'll be on a CCTV somewhere or a 'wanted' ad placed out for her. I haven't slept all night thinking about this.

What would you do? Will they come find her?
Am I unreasonable to think she will be in big trouble with this?

OP posts:
BlueKaftan · 29/08/2023 06:48

I would just sort it out for her and explain that she’s only a child and she panicked.

Blueeyedmale · 29/08/2023 06:53

Hi there I work for a railway company and CCTV is deleted after a period of time she won't be put out as wanted this happens everyday in my job and the penalty fares department won't pursue in the case of false details given hope this puts your mind at ease

MidnightOnceMore · 29/08/2023 06:54

You can sort it out by taking her to the station, explaining and paying straight away.

I do think it sounds like she needs more help from you before she goes so far on her own as she made two mistakes there - not getting the ticket and then not giving correct details.

Willmafrockfit · 29/08/2023 07:08

i had the transport police visit me as a teenager!
quick thinking of your dd to give a false address though

Willmafrockfit · 29/08/2023 07:09

The problem is that she said she was not about to give her name and address to a stranger so she gave them a false name AND address!

no, that is not good enough really, it was not a stranger, it was an official
anyway its done now.

Richmondgal · 29/08/2023 07:10

MidnightOnceMore · 29/08/2023 06:54

You can sort it out by taking her to the station, explaining and paying straight away.

I do think it sounds like she needs more help from you before she goes so far on her own as she made two mistakes there - not getting the ticket and then not giving correct details.

Disagree totally
she is being independent
that is great and when we start being independent we make mistakes and learn from them
great that she is doing that now rather than being molly coddled until she is a young adult

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

DinnaeFashYersel · 29/08/2023 07:12

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

Very few ticket barriers where I live. They are not universal

runwithme · 29/08/2023 07:13

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

I'm in SE London and at our station the barriers are often open, and there are stations along the route with no barriers at all

Stella123456 · 29/08/2023 07:14

I’d be proud of her for her quick thinking. It shows a smart girl. And I wouldn’t give it another thought.

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:14

Fair enough.

GettingStuffed · 29/08/2023 07:15

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

Our local station doesn't have a barrier. If you want to pay cash you need to pay on the train or at your destination

Willmafrockfit · 29/08/2023 07:16

did she have no intention of paying?

CurlewKate · 29/08/2023 07:18

It seems pretty unlikely that she would have given a false name and address convincingly on the spur of the moment to an experienced official. Maybe he decided not to make a big deal out of it.

Jibo · 29/08/2023 07:18

I think post Sarah Everard a lot of young women are wary of male authority figures, with good reason.

Are tickets available to buy at the station where DD boarded?

Blueeyedmale · 29/08/2023 07:19

A lot of smaller stations don't have ticket barriers,and some of the smaller ones are only staffed a few hours a day,as guards we have been told to use our discression when issuing penalty fares to children,personally I would have given her an opportunity to purchase a ticket but if this had been a late night train,I would not give a penalty fare its far more important to me that a teenage girl gets home safely

Autieangel · 29/08/2023 07:21

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

Tends to be city stations that have them - london Manchester etc. our town centre one doesn't and our village one you can still buy a ticket on the train

ShellySarah · 29/08/2023 07:21

Stella123456 · 29/08/2023 07:14

I’d be proud of her for her quick thinking. It shows a smart girl. And I wouldn’t give it another thought.

A smart girl who doesn't buy a ticket first and then lies to a ticket inspector about her address to avoid the consequences of not buying a ticket?

That's pretty daft.

Lying to avoid consequences of what you've done isn't a great life lesson.

Autieangel · 29/08/2023 07:23

I'd leave it. They can't fine her as thy don't know who she is! Talk to her about what to do going forward

TheBarbieEffect · 29/08/2023 07:23

I would just take her to the train station, explain and sort it out.

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 29/08/2023 07:24

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

You don’t travel very far afield by train do you?

Shutuptrevor · 29/08/2023 07:24

I don’t understand why she couldn’t purchase a ticket on the train?

My local station is unmanned (and no barriers). There is a ticket machine but people seem to buy tickets from the conductor on the train every day?

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 29/08/2023 07:26

Stella123456 · 29/08/2023 07:14

I’d be proud of her for her quick thinking. It shows a smart girl. And I wouldn’t give it another thought.

Oh yes, fare-dodging and lying, great things to be proud of.

AppleKatie · 29/08/2023 07:26

If they don’t know who she is how would they come and get her?

They have nothing except a location (and for all they know she’s on holiday miles from home) and a cctv image. This must happen all the time, they can’t possibly have the resources to start a man hunt for her.

I would talk to her about not doing it again and explain what she should have done for next week.

Then forget it.

Campervangirl · 29/08/2023 07:28

This isn't going to help but kudos to your dd for thinking on her feet 😉
Criminal mastermind in the making there, I'm proud of her on your behalf.
At 14 I'd have cried & blamed everyone else including you!
Nothing is going to happen, they won't be calling interpol in.
If it makes you feel better you can sort it out and pay.
Personally I'd leave it but tell her not to do it again.
I work in the rail industry