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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's in big trouble

297 replies

skatermom · 29/08/2023 06:45

My 14 year old daughter went out into town with her friend yesterday afternoon being bank holiday Monday. We live in a small village and she walks everywhere mostly. This time, they decided to get on the train and thought she would buy a ticket on the train. Her friend has a season ticket due to taking a train for school.
Well, the train conductor gave her a penalty notice for £50 and that a letter will be sent to her address as to what to do.

The problem is that she said she was not about to give her name and address to a stranger so she gave them a false name AND address!
So we will never receive said letter!
I've been so worried because I know it's an offence to not have a ticket but a worse one to give false details. I'm sure it's a criminal offence!
I'm so worried that she'll be on a CCTV somewhere or a 'wanted' ad placed out for her. I haven't slept all night thinking about this.

What would you do? Will they come find her?
Am I unreasonable to think she will be in big trouble with this?

OP posts:
Dwappy · 29/08/2023 08:12

DrSbaitso · 29/08/2023 07:59

It used to be the norm to be able to buy a ticket on the train and in some places it still is. If he's telling the truth that he's been denied the simple handset to do it, that's a deliberate corporate decision with no reason except to "criminalise" people to get more money out of them. It's hard to support such a system, especially when they don't use any enforcement like barriers to encourage ticket buying and instead go straight for penalties and intimidation where they can get them.

On the one hand, I don't support dishonesty. On the other, I also don't support pressuring young girls into giving their details to imposing adult men who, even if they're genuine, are likely not to treat the information with proper security.

Show quote history

Maybe it depends on where you live/ the train line etc. But I'm close to London and see people fare dodging a lot. There's also signs up saying if you get caught without a ticket you'll be fined. So plenty of warnings. It doesn't say if you get caught you can just buy on the day. Because honestly hardly anyone would pre buy if that was the case as I can sometimes go weeks without seeing an inspector. I could have saved myself a fortune.
Barriers don't always help. I watch people jump over them or do that thing where they rush through behind someone.
The problem is you can't not fine teenage girls but fine everyone else. And at what age do you start fining girls? 18? 21? What about the very young looking 25 year old? Everyone needs to be treated equally. Maybe they need a better system than asking for names and addresses in that case. (No idea what though. Whatever they do people will find a way to get round it).

DameCurlyBassey · 29/08/2023 08:13

Shutuptrevor · 29/08/2023 07:24

I don’t understand why she couldn’t purchase a ticket on the train?

My local station is unmanned (and no barriers). There is a ticket machine but people seem to buy tickets from the conductor on the train every day?

The ticket inspector might have been in a mean mood and didn’t allow her to. This has happened to me.

DrSbaitso · 29/08/2023 08:14

Divebar2021 · 29/08/2023 08:07

On the one hand, I don't support dishonesty. On the other, I also don't support pressuring young girls into giving their details to imposing adult men who, even if they're genuine, are likely not to treat the information with proper security

don’t use the train then. You know there’s a requirement to buy a ticket in order to use the service. If you don’t want to abide by the terms don’t use it. If she’s old enough to be getting on trains without an adult she’s old enough to understand the implications. ( it also doesn’t sound like she panicked to me…)

I'm happy to buy my ticket online before I travel.

But I object to a company that intentionally deprives people of what used to be a perfectly normal and acceptable method of buying a ticket, and replaces it with fines and intimidation. As PPs have said, they will often fine you even when you couldn't buy your ticket because the machine was broken - their error. Or when you arrived in time to purchase your ticket but there was an unusually long queue or the person ahead of you was involved in some lengthy process.

If they've got the resources to have inspectors on the train issuing fines and demanding that teenage girls tell them where they live, they've got the resources to issue them with ticket purchasing handsets (full price only would be fine). Presumably they've already got some sort of transaction machine if they expect you to pay a fine?

Original poster
skatermom · 29/08/2023 08:16

It was a total false name and address @WaxhamSeals , think 'Katie Perry' at 'no18 Church street, AB23 5XY.

OP posts:
thedancingbear · 29/08/2023 08:17

I spend a lot of time on the kinds of outer-London commuter train where penalty fares tend to be dished out.

I can tell you from experience that the inspectors almost universally only give fines to single female travellers. You know, the ones they can bully.

Also, Sarah Everard.

Strictly, OP, your daughter's done the wrong thing. However, in the real world, fuck 'em. The train companies are bastards, and this will never be followed up on.

Bbq1 · 29/08/2023 08:17

BIossomtoes · 29/08/2023 08:03

she shouldn't be travelling alone.

She wasn’t.

She wasn't with an adult. Clearly too young and immature to cope without an adult present. She didn't panic. If you panic you give your own details. She sounds incredibly cocky and clearly wasn't that terrified of the ticket inspector to challenge him. I think the girl does this regularly because to give a fakse name and address off the top of her head shows that she's practiced in this.

caringcarer · 29/08/2023 08:18

I'd march her down to the rail station and get her to explain to the ticket person she forgot to buy a ticket then panicked and will pay now. I'd not be proud if my DD did that I'd be ashamed of her, and make her set it right.

MrsJBaptiste · 29/08/2023 08:22

@ThomasinaLivesHere yes, we had to pay and then appeal but they refused it. By then you just want to seethe and forget about it as there are always too many other things going on. I did refuse to get the train for a few weeks though and made my way into town on the bus instead!

quietnightmare · 29/08/2023 08:23

Great quick thinking
She honestly believed she could pay on the train
It's a learning curve
Probably you should take her down and pay BUT as a one off explain to her that if she is to be trusted to go out she needs to ask someone if she can pay on the train next time and if not then she needs to buy a ticket before boarding and leave it at that

If it happens again March her down there and pay and she can do chores to pay the money back

P.s nothing will happen there will be no manhunt for her

TotalOverhaul · 29/08/2023 08:24

I don;t blame her. I hate that petty system. Passenger on train wants ot buy a ticket. Train official can sell one but instead hands out a ridiculous penalty because she should have bought it first. Why not buy it on the train?

ExtraOnions · 29/08/2023 08:27

I’ll never forget being on a train with an arsehole of a ticket inspector, who reduced a teenage girl to tears. She had a ticket, but in some mix up it was for the wrong day..there was no price difference, she tried all ways to pay (had no card on her), she got her parents on the phone who wanted to give their details … he just said “no” and he was going to dump her off at the next station. So I paid for the ticket … which he seemed really pissed off about. All I could think about if what if that was my teenage daughter being dumped off a train, with no money, in the middle of nowhere.
Anyway .. I got a lovely card a few days later, with the cost of the ticket inside.

Bbq1 · 29/08/2023 08:27

She won't get caught, unfortunately Op. However, going forwards I would be travelling with her until she can prove she's mature enough to travel alone. Secondly, do her a favour Op and teach her right from wrong and don't place value on her dishonesty. Finally, educate her about people like the ticket inspector. He's just doing his job, asking men, women and kids for their details so they can be fined for breaking the law. He's in uniform on a crowded train probably with a colleague and dozens of passengers. He wasn't the least bit interested in your daughter other than fining her for not having a ticket.

Stravaig · 29/08/2023 08:28

Fieldofbrokenpromises · 29/08/2023 07:26

Oh yes, fare-dodging and lying, great things to be proud of.

Show quote history

Yes, this.

Not just the penalty notice to sort out, OP, you have some parenting to do here, sorting out DD's incipient dishonesty. Only a few years left at home before it becomes everyone else's problem too.

bellac11 · 29/08/2023 08:28

Richmondgal · 29/08/2023 07:10

Disagree totally
she is being independent
that is great and when we start being independent we make mistakes and learn from them
great that she is doing that now rather than being molly coddled until she is a young adult

Show quote history

She wont learn from this mistake, she will get away with it as having given a false name and address they wont be able to trace her

Or she will learn, that lying gets you off scott free from criminality

I hope the address and name isnt someone real or they will now be culpable for the fine when it arrives at their address

The teaching here is about how to buy train tickets, I dont know of services where you buy the ticket on the train, you buy it at the ticket office/machine

PlipPlopChoo · 29/08/2023 08:28

I would leave it because no harm has been done. She will not end up on Crime watch. Tell her to pay next time though.

BashfulClam · 29/08/2023 08:28

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

None of the stations on my route have a t ket barrier. Only the city centre.

DrSbaitso · 29/08/2023 08:29

thedancingbear · 29/08/2023 08:17

I spend a lot of time on the kinds of outer-London commuter train where penalty fares tend to be dished out.

I can tell you from experience that the inspectors almost universally only give fines to single female travellers. You know, the ones they can bully.

Also, Sarah Everard.

Strictly, OP, your daughter's done the wrong thing. However, in the real world, fuck 'em. The train companies are bastards, and this will never be followed up on.

I'm inclined to agree.

If you deliberately remove an easy, honest way of paying and replace it with intimidation, sexist bullying and fines, then don't expect respect for the system. There's more than one way to be dishonest and sometimes the "outside the rules" way isn't the most harmful.

borntobequiet · 29/08/2023 08:30

I’ll be travelling on the train tomorrow. If the ticket machine on the platform isn’t working (not unusual) I’ll buy a ticket on the train. If the guard doesn’t come round asking who needs to buy tickets from various stops (usual practice), I’ll pay on arrival at my destination.
Your daughter should have been allowed to buy her ticket on the train.

BIossomtoes · 29/08/2023 08:31

DrSbaitso · 29/08/2023 08:29

I'm inclined to agree.

If you deliberately remove an easy, honest way of paying and replace it with intimidation, sexist bullying and fines, then don't expect respect for the system. There's more than one way to be dishonest and sometimes the "outside the rules" way isn't the most harmful.

Show quote history

This.

SnapdragonToadflax · 29/08/2023 08:32

Schmokin · 29/08/2023 07:11

Can’t remember the last time I went on a train that didn’t have a ticket barrier? Are you sure this is not a series of lies here OP.

No ticket barriers at our local village station, and you did used to be able to buy a ticket on the train. It's infuriating now if there's a big queue, because there's only one ticket machine.

PlipPlopChoo · 29/08/2023 08:32

If you deliberately remove an easy, honest way of paying and replace it with intimidation, sexist bullying and fines, then don't expect respect for the system. There's more than one way to be dishonest and sometimes the "outside the rules" way isn't the most harmful

Also this.

Greenshake · 29/08/2023 08:32

Jibo · 29/08/2023 07:18

I think post Sarah Everard a lot of young women are wary of male authority figures, with good reason.

Are tickets available to buy at the station where DD boarded?

That has nothing to do with this girl evading the fare and then lying about it. Be reasonable.

plumtreebroke · 29/08/2023 08:33

Who's name and address did she give? Was it one of her (soon to be ex) friends? That would be the easiest to give on the spur of the moment.

BashfulClam · 29/08/2023 08:33

SnapdragonToadflax · 29/08/2023 08:32

No ticket barriers at our local village station, and you did used to be able to buy a ticket on the train. It's infuriating now if there's a big queue, because there's only one ticket machine.

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Can you buy tickets online? ScotRail let you buy online and give you a QR code. I swan past the queue as I’ve usually bought it from bed.

Friggingfrog · 29/08/2023 08:34

It’s not really the end of the world op. She panicked and didn’t want the man she didn’t know knowing where she lives. She obviously has a conscience about it or she wouldn’t have told you. Chalk it up to experience, it’ll be fine