To think cafes should have signs asking people not to have their phones on speaker?

[PrinceHaz]

In the last few years I’ve noticed an increase in people being unaware of the effect of the noise from their phones on people nearby.
Nearly every time I go for lunch or for a coffee people will be talking with their phones on speaker or playing videos with sound.
Recently, I approached someone who had spent her whole meal showing her friend videos next to me and told her the sound had prompted me to leave. She looked at me as if I was mad.
I am surprised cafes and restaurants don’t have signs asking people not to do this. The sound is tinny and for me really intrusive.
So AIBU and over sensitive?

No, I can’t hear that the sound of a phone is different to the sound of people chatting, or children laughing.

I have some ear damage from a medication. Noises like phone speakers cause some sort of uncomfortable vibration sensation to my eardrums.
Aside from that, they have a dreadful tinny, distorted sound that speech and laughter do not.

not every partial deaf person can afford blue tooth hearing aids

You can get them on the NHS. Couple of weeks wait. It's one of the few parts of the health service that is running ok rn. I suggest you look into it if you need them.

If only they weren't so in your face so to speak with their calls or videos etc

Definitely not true in all areas of the country. A very good friend of mine cannot afford to buy them privately and they’re not available on the NHS here.

I was in local curry house with my family and one other couple. They had a FaceTime call which went in a bit and was irritating me. After about 10 mins, we had the following….

Its not just a rash, it’s like pustules.
oh no
yes, the pus is bad
has he seen a dr?
well… it’s green and smells…

To the kids huge embarrassment I went over and said I wasn’t interested in their conversation snd enough was enough.

They looked completely surprised but ended call. The restaurant owner thanked me.

It would be weird and pointless to not answer my phone. It doesn’t bother me one but if other people answer their phones on speaker, in fact it seems quite common. If it’s a long business call I can see how it’s a hit stupid buy a shirt call I see no problem with.
surely by this standard any conversation at a neighbouring table is equally annoying ???

@KajsaKavat but you can answer your phone without it being on loudspeaker.

I too have some damage to my ears from medication and agree that speech and laughter is different to the sound of phone speakers.

They shouldn't need signs. People shouldn't need to be told basic decency by strangers.

@EmpressaurusOfCats this happened on a Eurostar back to London we were on this summer.

A really annoying woman was having a call on loudpseaker to her friend, much to the annoyance of everyone around. Eventually this guy behind us, admittedly 2 glass of wine down, started joining in at the top of his voice. Whe she asking him to stop doing it he simply responded - " annoying isn't it?"

Perfect. And did she stop?

I agree with @HardcoreLadyType-if the volume is the same I don't see chatting on the phone as different to others chatting in the cafe. I find it equally as irritating to have to listen to other people's conversations in person as through the speaker. I wouldn't do it myself, because I'd feel awkward about having others overhearing my conversation. But I can see why some people might, maybe they need their hands free to eat etc.
and @Borough talking on the phone in the car isn't illegal! Don't be ridiculous.

Tasering sounds eminently reasonable to me @Ginmonkeyagain

It astounds me that in this age when we are all supposed to be kind and be a lot more aware of ND people and the effect that excessive noise can have that this seems to be becoming more prevalent.

After tasering, their electronics should also be destroyed as they are clearly not responsible enough to be trusted with them.

I'm massively noise sensitive in busy places (yes there are reasons for it). I don't expect society to turn the volume down collectively to work around that, but the phone video playing does my fucking head in, to the point that I tend to wear noise cancelling headphones whenever I can get away with it when I'm out and about (apart from the fear of being mugged for my AirPod Maxes). Not usually with anything playing, although I get the judgy "people can't go anywhere without listening to music endlessly" type looks and comments, but just so the noise cancellation turns things down to a level I can cope with in my brain.

I stopped commuting by train as it just got too damned much to deal with.

If they need their hands free to eat, they really shouldn't be on the phone!!

I'm wondering if these people in public mind me playing thrash metal on my phone , ruining their calls after all of it its their right to do this its my right to do that, or is that inconsiderate

talking on the phone in the car isn't illegal!

Talking while holding the handset is illegal and talking handsfree can also be illegal if police deem that it's a distraction for you. Overall advice is not to use a phone at all. Because it's different from talking with a person who is with you.

don't see chatting on the phone as different to others chatting in the cafe

Again, it doesn't really matter that you personally are unable to distinguish between a person and a phone. Policy makers, law drafters, psychologists, neurologists and behaviourists have all determined that noise from a phone is processed in a different way than noise from a person.

@EmpressaurusOfCats she did but spent the whole journey back to London muttering to her friend and shooting dirty looks at him.

I’m sure he was devastated

@Borough but so what? There are all kinds of noises in a cafe that are 'processed in a different way'-people noises, cooking noises, cutlery/crockery noises, traffic outside noises. That's part of being in a public place. I don't think it's unreasonable for people who want to use their phone to do so, provided the volume is no higher than in person speech.
And the reason that the advice may be not to use a phone in the car is nothing to do with the sound quality-you've completely misunderstood. We're allowed to listen to people on the phone, the radio, speaking, singing, music, even unpleasant loud music, all whilst driving. The reason that it is illegal to use a phone, (not talk on the phone) is because of the screen and having to look at it and use your hands to set up calls etc.

I'm wondering if these people in public mind me playing thrash metal on my phone , ruining their calls after all of it its their right to do this its my right to do that, or is that inconsiderate

I definitely think that if it's appropriate to have a loud speakerphone call or loud Peppa Pig then it's appropriate to play loud metal. It's only fair.

I find this type of noise very stressful. My chest actually tightens. I can't just block it out. Often it is so loud it is beyond the capabilities of my noise-cancelling headphones. A taser sounds like a welcome solution.

Yes and also played in cinemas. “Don’t be a plonker! Turn it down or put your headphones on!”

But I can see why some people might, maybe they need their hands free to eat etc.

I would (and have) put the phone down on anyone who deems it necessary to call me whilst they are eating.

This. I'm lucky enough to live in a national park and have beautiful countryside on my doorstep. The number of people who find it necessary to have loud conversations on loudspeaker while out walking is breathtaking.

You can't hear the skylarks for the bloody talking.