To think cafes should have signs asking people not to have their phones on speaker?

[PrinceHaz]

In the last few years I’ve noticed an increase in people being unaware of the effect of the noise from their phones on people nearby.
Nearly every time I go for lunch or for a coffee people will be talking with their phones on speaker or playing videos with sound.
Recently, I approached someone who had spent her whole meal showing her friend videos next to me and told her the sound had prompted me to leave. She looked at me as if I was mad.
I am surprised cafes and restaurants don’t have signs asking people not to do this. The sound is tinny and for me really intrusive.
So AIBU and over sensitive?

What has happened to taking your call away from others etiquette

I don't think anyone's asking for silence. But I should be able to talk to someone and actually hear them

We were on a steam train journey last year. The woman behind was on a facetime call for the entire journey, talking to her daughter. We could clearly hear both sides of the conversation as both her and the phone were very loud (she was virtually shouting). She was giving a commentary as to where she was, what she could see through the window, what she'd had for lunch, and her daughter was doing the same - just talking for the sake of it rather than there being any actually need - just a way to spend the time really. No need at all, and it really ruined the journey. Some people just have no self-awareness or respect at all. Everyone else in the carriage was just chatting quietly to each other. I never understand why some people just have to be so loud.

Tbh, it's self defeating. Anywhere that has signs telling people what they should do or not do generally has a problem. Unless the management enforce it or the patrons do then the inconsiderate bastards win.

You have my sympathy

This happened after I'd had an op

It's like people can't be quiet and considerate

I have hearing loss and wear hearing aids. "Tinny" sounds are amplified more and can actually give me a headache. That's why they're different than normal ambient conversations etc, it's a different frequency/sound wave. Even people with normal hearing will be affected by the tinny, usually low quality sound of a phone or ipad.

Speaker phone calls are often louder in my experience. I had a neighbour (now moved away, thank goodness as she was a nightmare) who used to do this outside the front of the house. She'd shout down the phone have the volume switched on full and it was very obnoxious and irritating.

The trouble is that not only does the sound from the phone grate due to its poor quality and tinniness but that the person talking to them uses a loud voice as well. Even when they think they are speaking quietly they are still projecting their voice in a way that they would not do when speaking face to face. It's very antisocial and intrusive.

It’s selfish behaviour. In some of the cafes I go to in London, people have work Teams calls going on. So loud, unprofessional and intrusive.

People watching shows on tablets on the plane without earphones is another irritant.

It is staggering how so many people only think about themselves.

That's just dreadful. There's some awful and inconsiderate people around.

@inisisle - same here! I had a guy park his car outside my house, window open in the car, on speakerphone. He was so loud I could hear him at the top of the house.

After 10 mins of top volume I went and told him to leave as the whole neighbour good did not have to hear his business.

Self important pricks, these people.

Snap. It drives me nuts. Watching films on very loud volume (not at the same as chatting to one another for the belligerent poster who can't accept they are an utter arsehole). But not just one, but several people so the noise is deafening.

My poor DD now lives in ear defenders due to this rise in self obsessed, only I matter bollocks.

And often they have earphones!!!! I actually think it's a form of some sort of mental illness to be so utterly selfish.

Why do you assume that I behave like this? My young adult children will sometimes show me a clip on their phones that they think will amuse me. It’s a fairly normal human interaction these days. It’s no louder than us speaking together. I don’t moan about other people’s children, making a noise, either.

Yes, I've started noticing more and more people wearing proper head phones in cafes and other indoor places, which I can only assume is to block out the ever-increasing background noise annoyance from selfish speakerphone arseholes.

YANBU.

I'm not sure whether this is worse post Covid, or if I'm just more annoyed by it.

Trains and coffee shops seem to be the worst, but also people who come into the office and join Teams calls on speakerphone (when we have all been given headsets). Fine to do this at home, but massively annoying in the office when you're trying to do your own work.

Sad that there are so many selfish and inconsiderate people, and their kids are being shown that this is how you carry on in public.

We were in a nice country pub/restaurant with a friend one evening last week when a couple (probably late 50s early 60s) at the other end of the room, 20+ metres away, decided it was a good idea to have a loud video call with I assume was their daughter and grandchild.

It was so loud every single person in the establishment must have heard every word and it was so distracting it was impossible to continue our conversation. I was utterly gobsmacked.

Someone did eventually approach them from another nearby table and I'm fairly sure the words "ignorant fuckers" was what I heard from the other customer which is also not ideal, admittedly!

Well if you're talking loudly to each other in public such that people at other tables can easily hear your conversation, that's not particularly considerate either.

Did no-one teach you to use 'indoor voices'?

Also beauty spots where you just want to enjoy the peace/ambient sound.

Yes what is so important that it cannot wait till you are in a private space ideally at home

This is what I don't really understand apart from if it is work related but it should be done quickly

It's also weird you have these people who have inability to use a phone correctly where they have speaker on and keep moving the phone from their ear to their mouth.

It's also weird how much personal information people give out whilst on loud calls in public, if I was a dodgy sort I could have their bank details passwords and other info.

Noise cancelling earphones are a godsend out in public.

Agreed, it's really anti-social and even worse since Tiktok came along. I enjoy Tiktok as much as the next person but listening to snapshots of audio on the bus as someone scrolls and scrolls... horrendous.

I'm also close to asking my neighbour if he realises that the speakers in his car may as well be a megaphone. He gets home from work around midnight, parks under my bedroom window and sits in his car to call his girlfriend. Rather than just pick up the phone, he calls her through the car's bluetooth link so I can't hear him but her side of the conversation sounds like it's being blasted out of a speaker at Wembley

Why do you assume that we are speaking too loudly, Barbara? My point is that if the sound from a phone is no louder than people talking together, then what difference does it make if the sound is coming from a phone, or directly from a person’s mouth? The OP is concerned specifically about people using phones in cafes. She’s not fussed about other noises.

I would perhaps speak to your neighbour, amused. I suspect he doesn’t realise, and actually wouldn’t want the whole street to be able hear his private conversation.

Retail and waiting staff get enough abuse without getting more for trying to stop customers using their phones however they want to