To think cafes should have signs asking people not to have their phones on speaker?

[PrinceHaz]

In the last few years I’ve noticed an increase in people being unaware of the effect of the noise from their phones on people nearby.
Nearly every time I go for lunch or for a coffee people will be talking with their phones on speaker or playing videos with sound.
Recently, I approached someone who had spent her whole meal showing her friend videos next to me and told her the sound had prompted me to leave. She looked at me as if I was mad.
I am surprised cafes and restaurants don’t have signs asking people not to do this. The sound is tinny and for me really intrusive.
So AIBU and over sensitive?

Yes exactly.

Also you can't see the other person. In a normal conversation between two people in a café you can see them both. But with a disembodied voice again your brain is working harder to process the information as it's relying on sound alone.

Luckily it wasn’t especially busy so I could move away. I didn’t want to comment because if he thought that was ok he’d probably have thought punching me was ok too.

Yes, it puts you off confronting them as there's a strong possibility they're not likely to be reasonable people.

Sometimes I accept calls on my Apple Watch when j don’t have my phone with me and it’s automatically on speaker. I wouldn’t have long conversations but I might arrange something Whicker. I don’t see the problem.

Well you've been told what the problem is. Just be honest and say you don't feel the need to alter your behaviour.

A antisocial behaviour. I like the idea of a taser🤣

It's just not the same ime.

It's very easy to block out low level chat.
Much hard to do so with the kind of videos played out loud on devices, or even the tinny type of noise when there's a conversion happening. It just doesn't sound the same as a general in person chat, so not as easy to ignore.

It's more akin to when you have someone nearby doing the OTT screechy or a loud guffaw type laughing for ages, which can also be annoying for others.

We have a family rule of no phones at the table & it applies at home and out!

It is called sodcasting, an amazing new word. I hate it and it is totally different to a normal conversation/child crying/laughing etc. I absolutely hate it, its selfish.

It happens in hospitals too. Have had to ask many a patient to turn their volume down whilst they are waiting.
We even have one patient (no additional needs) who sits and watches tik toks (or whatever ) while we are doing his tests (he's a regular user of our service!)

I spoke up on a train the other day because someone was being very loud, he turned it down a bit and then muttered to the couple behind him about people disrespecting him, so I decided that for my own safety I wasn't going to comment any further. He muttered a lot for the remainder of he journey too.....

I agree.

It is incredibly rude and anti-social and unfair to the person or people on the other end who might not appreciate that the world and his wife are listening in. It’s such an assault on the senses too when there are so many competing shouted phone conversations taking place.

Not that he's disrespecting everyone else

I agree, it seems a recent thing,on trains, walking down the road... can no one just hold the mobile to their ears anymore? Everyone has turned into Dom Joly!

But a lot of people haven’t got any courtesy in this regard. There needs to be some explicit guidance given as it’s becoming quite unpleasant to be in a public place with these types of noises.

Recently I was out shopping and started feeling unwell with a splitting headache. Decided to go in the cafe and get myself a cuppa and have a quiet sit down until it passed.

I was sitting minding my own business when a man came and sat on the table next to me and started watching motorbike videos at full volume. I asked he if could turn it down, but he said no and the staff wouldn't do anything, so I ended up leaving.

You expect a bit of noise in cafes from people chatting, but playing videos at full volume and disturbing other people isn't on IMO.

It's so rude and antisocial. People are really starting to show that they lack self awareness and/or are just plain rude.

It's even a problem in the workplace. Our manager had to remind people that phones should never be on hands free in the office and headphones were required if on a teams call etc.

I know it’s a cliche to say that society has gone to pot and so on and in most regards I hold no truck with that sort of thing.
But I do think that there is a significant chunk of people who have very little sense of their responsibilities in society. Some people are innately well mannered or have been taught manners, but those who aren’t, aren’t getting the explicit instructions they need about how they should behave around people in general society.

I agree, you can't expect people to be quiet wherever you go. If you want silence, go somewhere suitable.

If someone’s using speakerphone or FaceTime, Teams etc in public without headphones, that should make their conversation fair play for anyone who wants to join in.

No one’s asking for silence. Just not unnecessary loud noise.

"Considerate people do this, or do that..."get on with your own life and never mind what people you don't even know are doing.

@CountryManor @HardcoreLadyType In my experience on trains and in cafes, people talking on speakerphones are mostly louder than people holding conversations with people who are actually there. It could be because half our "hearing" is based on lipreading and expression, which is not the case on a phone and even limited by screen size on facetime. It could also be because one or both people aren't using the phone correctly - eg moving around with it while doing something else, mouth not in correct position to transmitter or ear to receiver.

Tell me you're anti-social without telling me you're anti-social...

I agree people shouldn't do that. But I don't think there needs to be a sign for everything.

not every partial deaf person can afford blue tooth hearing aids. if an environment is noisy i might need my phone on speaker phone to hear but then I will say I am sorry where I am is too noisy to hear properly I'll call back later. I agree different types of noise are amplified by hearing aids differently so background music etc can be really loud