To think cafes should have signs asking people not to have their phones on speaker?

[PrinceHaz]

In the last few years I’ve noticed an increase in people being unaware of the effect of the noise from their phones on people nearby.
Nearly every time I go for lunch or for a coffee people will be talking with their phones on speaker or playing videos with sound.
Recently, I approached someone who had spent her whole meal showing her friend videos next to me and told her the sound had prompted me to leave. She looked at me as if I was mad.
I am surprised cafes and restaurants don’t have signs asking people not to do this. The sound is tinny and for me really intrusive.
So AIBU and over sensitive?

Yeah quickly, and not in bloody public cafe! Bog off home people ... No-one gives a shit about your worklife conversations and 'teams' meetings that you're engaging in, in your 'extremely important' job 🙄

"It's also weird how much personal information people give out whilst on loud calls in public, if I was a dodgy sort I could have their bank details passwords and other info."

I once told someone that I was on a train and no I'm not giving out my personal information. They weren't happy.

(I also couldn't hear them properly)

I feel like I'm in the minority who hates phone calls in public - fine if it's a quick where are you / are you at home type call.

@HardcoreLadyType · Today 11:16

Perhaps you could get your local cafe to put up a sign that says “Corner for Tutting at phone users” for you to use?

Ooooh @PrinceHaz you have touched a nerve with someone! We have someone in the wild on the thread now who does this - has her phone on speakerphone in public - for all the world to hear her conversation !!! Because her life is soooooooo exciting and she is soooooooo important with sooooooo many friends, that she wants and needs everyone to listen to her riveting conversation! 😂

Yes, the sound output of small speakers from phones is fundamentally different to human voices, which have a much greater frequency range. Add to that the artificial sounds, bleeps, music etc from phone content... It all makes for an unnatural sound cloud which our brain is programmed to pay attention to ("this sounds odd, and could be dangerous") rather than the natural sound patterns of human speech. Result: stress hormones, adrenaline.

Turn you loudspeaker off in public!!

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps Read the thread. 🙄

YANBU my mum does this and it drives me mad.

The speaker option is when you want everyone to hear your conversation.

My mum says she can’t hear the call well when it’s off speaker but I don’t think that should be everyone else’s problem.

I hate them too

Texting is easier or quick call as last resort

For what it's worth , I've to do it ( answer call on speaker).

It's not out of self obsession though, so hopefully that makes a difference😱.
1 I've a hearing impairment. Even in a quiet environment like inside home, usually have to do.

1. Ironically , noisy environments are worse that way. Prior to losing part of hearing , also found them to be overwhelming.

However, besides all that, I'd also be strongly of the opinion there has to be give and take when dealing with others.
Ie I don't expect silence in public spaces (though lol it might be personally preferable at times🤣🤣🤣). But.... I do think everyone, myself included, has to at least try not to take the piss with it.

For example, I hold the speaker to my ear,to keep the speaker volume down/"mufffle" sound leakage.
Keep my own voice low. Move to somewhere less disturbing if I can.

If I can't, and the environment is super noisy from others doing essentially the same thing etc .. ah I just give up on trying to hear the call at all at all. 🤣

You're not being unreasonable at all !

It’s easier to ask people not do this in the quiet carriage so I think a sign stating that phone/device use with headphones is the policy would be a good idea

It doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's just life happening around me.

That said I can't understand why people shove tablets and phones to children in pushchairs or when they are eating. I find that very strange.

Totally agree OP, especially about the video watching.
On recent holiday (Spain) we were staying in a lovely hotel and chilling on the roof terrace and some plonker appears a few beds down to watch a football match on his phone with volume turned right up. Frankly on my holiday I didn't want to have words with a fellow guest (who looked far from friendly), I just wanted to relax, and I feel the hotel ought to resolve this by having a rule in the first place that they can refer to.
Same thing on the Jet2 flight home - multiple people watching films or videos with volume on. Not just children. So many headphone options these days there's really no excuse. Again this was for Jet2 to deal with, not me, but I assume they allow it because it was so prevalent.
It's a grrrr from me.

Also I always think, this is really not fair on the person on the other end of the phone. Maybe people should shout “careful what you share, you’re on speaker!”

Totally agree, though my mum always talks on speaker. It drives me nuts!

You don't "have to" turn on speakerphone just because you have a hearing impairment. Surely you'd hear just fine, probably better, if you used earphones/earbuds, or got hearing aids with built in Bluetooth?

I used earphones for years to answer phone calls, and now use Bluetooth enabled hearing aids. I've never needed to turn on the speakerphone except when other people I'm with want to hear.

It's not just devices though. Some arrogant sods just have to be noisy. I walk on a lovely quiet stretch of canal. Just the birdsong and gentle hum of the occasional boat. All this last week, some arrogant twat has parked his (hired) canal boot on the side of the canal and has a bloody ghetto blaster on full volume pumping out techo music all day, every day. Just why? You can hear it from about half a mile away. What goes through their heads? He's hired a canal boat for a week, but instead of actually going anywhere in it, he's parked up just so that he can listen to music all day. I just don't get it at all. At least he's only there for a week (hopefully).

What is it that you don't understand? Surely you can hear yourself that the sound is different. That difference in sound means that in order for your brain to process the sound you become overtly focused on that sound. It's why driving while on the phone is illegal, but talking to someone else in the car is ok.

If you're sharing your phone conversation/generated content with everyone around you in a public space, the noise you are making is like a big antenna signal to all those people to focus on your noise rather than on whatever else they wish to be thinking about.

No, I can’t hear that the sound of a phone is different to the sound of people chatting, or children laughing.

If people are being too noisy, then the fact that they are doing so with a phone, is irrelevant.

LOL! It doesn't really matter whether you personally genuinely can't tell the difference between a person and a phone : numerous studies show that that's how people's brains work.

I genuinely keep meaning to but I don't see him often. I leave for work early in the morning and he works late shifts, so he is gone by the time I get home. Also, technically, my neighbours are his parents; he is about my age (early-mid 30s) and he moved back in with them during the pandemic. I'd pop a note through the door but, shamefully, I don't know his name. I only know him to say hello to in passing and I don't want to cause friction with his parents

No, I can’t hear that the sound of a phone is different to the sound of people chatting, or children laughing.

They usually have the person on speaker turned up full, so they can hear them above outside noises and for some reason they always shout. It's a lot louder than normal conversations, and with the addition of the phone noise you can hear from speaker.

It's always the same sort of obnoxious, inconsiderate person.

"Organic" himan chatter is easier to filter out that noise from mobile phones. It is something to do with the shitty, tinny speakers I think.

I think YABU, only on the signs! A cafe shouldn’t need signs for this sort of thing, it isn’t their responsibility. People should just have some basic manners and courtesy!

@Againstmachine Yeah , lt is weird looking and it is an inability to use a phone correctly!
I fully agree with you on that one 😅.

However I will say also, why it's done may not be the same!

Personally speaking, it's basically a way of trying to make do with own inability to use a phone correctly and reduce the impact of it. Rather than not knowing how to use a phone!
Speaker close to ear, help reduce volume of /blocks the sound in/from environment.
Move closer to mouth, block other sounds from mic pickup- less speech volume.

I've absolutely no idea why people would want to be sharing private info though! 😅

Yes, it's like a tinny, metallic noise. Static also, and sometimes crackling noises. Not at all like a conversation between people at normal noise levels.

I was on a train the other day where some prick was playing a game with the sound up at full volume.

Luckily it wasn’t especially busy so I could move away. I didn’t want to comment because if he thought that was ok he’d probably have thought punching me was ok too.