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Original poster

Is WFH worth it?

120 replies

pickleandcheese · 27/08/2023 08:44

I'm struggling to make a decision about changing jobs. Currently I work from home and have done since covid. It obviously has a great deal of pros - no commute, can work in my pjs, very flexible for childcare/school runs/sick days and overall very quiet and stress free.

However it's made me feel very isolated and our team has pretty much disbanded as a result. My work was never particularly interesting (think receptionist/clerical work) but now it's just me sat at home with no office banter or visitors. It's just really lonely. I've also fallen into the trap of keeping my 2 year old at home with me for one day a week to cut back on childcare costs and very quickly realised what an error this was. It's impossible to get anything done unless she's napping or occasionally my in laws will take her for an hour to two. But in the meantime I feel like I'm failing her and my employer.

Anyway another job has come up in a role in much more interested in but it would mean going back to the office for at least three days a week. Initially this would cost me money as I'd need to increase dd nursery days and the wage increase wouldn't cover it. It would also mean no more 'popping out' to do the school run and sick days would be sick days not just logging on and seeing what I could manage. I'd have to wear real clothes and there wouldn't be any flexibility or free time. Work time would be work time.

I'm wondering if it's worth it. How much do you value wfh? I know I've been lucky to have this for as long as I have but truly, its not all daytime tv and pjs, it can be very hard and very isolating. Wwyd in my position? I don't want to go for a new job, get it then miss my freedom.

OP posts:
DarlingCoffee · 27/08/2023 08:51

I truly value WFH and the freedom of brings but I understand about the loneliness. A minimum of three days in the office is quite a change though.

Could you look at changing up your routine in your current job first? Is there a gym or anything you can do to get out more to meet people? Can you put your 2 year old in nursery for the day so you can focus on work?

Findyourneutralspace · 27/08/2023 08:54

I’ve found a mixture works well for me. I think 3 days in the office would give the connection you are looking for with some flexibility. If the numbers didn’t stack up it would be a problem though.

HoneyBalloon · 27/08/2023 08:55

I also WFH and am feeling very isolated at the moment as the job is not fulfilling me at the moment either. I’ve decided I need to make more effort to speak to neighbours and maybe take up a hobby. The WFH is so convenient.

ShellySarah · 27/08/2023 08:58

This is why I won't WFH.
It's so lonely.

PJs all day...that way depression lies if you're not even getting dressed or interacting with people.

Do they know you're caring for a 2 year old that one a day?

There are more than 2 jobs in the world. How about you find another that pays more so the time in the office would be worth it.

Alwaysdecorating · 27/08/2023 08:59

I prefer a mix. Though I have barely been to the office recently. I had covid then AL.

However, I wouldn’t take a financial loss to work hybrid.

ScarlettSunset · 27/08/2023 08:59

How long would your commute be?
I changed from working fully remote to three days in an office and honestly, I'm struggling. In my case it's because the commute is FAR longer than I was doing pre Covid when I was in the office full time.
Work out carefully just how much time you will realistically have to spend on that before making a decision.

Original poster
pickleandcheese · 27/08/2023 08:59

DarlingCoffee · 27/08/2023 08:51

I truly value WFH and the freedom of brings but I understand about the loneliness. A minimum of three days in the office is quite a change though.

Could you look at changing up your routine in your current job first? Is there a gym or anything you can do to get out more to meet people? Can you put your 2 year old in nursery for the day so you can focus on work?

I really don't have the time at the moment. At lunch time I try to get out for a walk but between my working hours, nursery runs, school runs, school commitments (award assemblies and such like), then after school clubs there really is very little time to get out and meet people.

Having dd home with me one day isn't ideal and has caused me a lot of stress but I'm aware that this won't last forever. She will get extra funding for nursery soon and it won't be forever until she starts school.

It's the work that has spurred me on really. It's so dull and when you're also in lonely, dull surroundings it makes life in general feel dull too. I also find that because friends and family see me having such an easy ride by being at home all the time nobody thinks I need any help with any of the childcare stuff. They don't realise how difficult it actually is to try and work and look after dc (school holidays have been rough on the days I've tried to do both).

Going back into the office would remove a lot of my freedom and flexibility but it might also make the boundaries between work and home life clearer. I'm certain the work would be more engaging and rewarding too.

I guess it boils down to whether or not I want to stay at home and have flexibility around the dc or if I want to be a bit more selfish and focus on my own work satisfaction.

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 27/08/2023 09:00

I went from 100% WFH to 25% about 6 months ago and it was definitely the right move for me. I realised that WFH had made me quite lazy. My new employer are quite flexible in that if I need to WFH an extra day so I can attend something at school or go to an appointment then that's no problem.
I think if you're in a rut then go for it.

BiIIie · 27/08/2023 09:00

I wouldnt go back to the office, I too have flexibility but it sounds like you're taking the piss a bit. Having your child at home is basically 1 day a week you're not working I wouldn't have that at all if I was your boss. And daytime TV too? Maybe you should go office based to increase your own productivity.

Original poster
pickleandcheese · 27/08/2023 09:04

BiIIie · 27/08/2023 09:00

I wouldnt go back to the office, I too have flexibility but it sounds like you're taking the piss a bit. Having your child at home is basically 1 day a week you're not working I wouldn't have that at all if I was your boss. And daytime TV too? Maybe you should go office based to increase your own productivity.

My line manager knows and will turn a blind eye providing that my work is getting done. Which it is either during nap times, while she goes out with in laws or in the evening if I'm really struggling. It's not good though because I still have to be logged on/available on the phone so I can't take her out anywhere and it's just hard work on every level.

The daytime tv stuff is tongue in cheek, I have the tv on in the background sometimes but I'm not glued to it.

You're right though I probably would be more productive in an office environment.

OP posts:
User63847439572 · 27/08/2023 09:05

I couldn’t bear the loneliness and monotony
Ideal scenario is a mixture but where you can be flexible about the days and wfh on office days occasionally if needed eg school events, child apppintments, boiler service etc

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/08/2023 09:06

I prefer a mixture. My current job is three days in the office and two at home. But my ideal is 1-2 office days.

However, if everyone is only in once a week it’s not great for new starters and those needing to learn the ropes, so I do see how a balance in favour of more office (2/3 days) is better from that pov.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/08/2023 09:07

We can be flexible about which days and actually it’s 60% overall rather than days per week

VisionsOfSplendour · 27/08/2023 09:09

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about WFH, if you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it. Get a job where you don't do it

Why would you care if I like it? It's not like it's something everyone is meant to hanker after, its not some kind of guitly secret to say you don't want to WFH. No need to write an essay explaining yourself

I find Mumsnet to be a bit strange about WFH, I think ita the south east middle class centric demographic,

PinkCherryBlossoms · 27/08/2023 09:10

The value of wfh one of those things that varies totally between individuals and circumstances. The stupidest comments on here about wfh vs office invariably come from people who've failed to understand that.

In your case, it sounds like one of the things that's making it hardest is you trying to work and look after a 2 year old simultaneously, for 20% of your working time. Would it be possible to change this?

I'd also give some thought to what it will be like in the office. People sometimes think working in person will be like it was in 2019. That world has gone. Are people all in on the same days? Will you be going in to do meetings/work with others in person, or is it likely that the work will involve being on Teams meetings in a different location? Will you be pissing around on the internet rather than watching daytime telly?

If you'll actually be able to access the work environment you crave, I'd say there's a good chance the relative lack of flexibility will be worth it. But I'd want to be pretty sure that's what would actually happen, before taking the plunge.

TeaKitten · 27/08/2023 09:13

I think you should go for the new job. It sounds like WFH isn’t for you, it’s clearly making you lazy and loanly. And your DD needs to go back to nursery full time regardless as you are taking the mick as it’s clearly not working. Your line manager sounds great but it’s not how it should be is it. A mix of office and WFH is probably just what you need to find your motivation again and get some enjoyment out of work, hopefully theyl still allow a bit of flexibility for school stuff and sick days.

Original poster
pickleandcheese · 27/08/2023 09:14

VisionsOfSplendour · 27/08/2023 09:09

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about WFH, if you don't want to do it, you don't want to do it. Get a job where you don't do it

Why would you care if I like it? It's not like it's something everyone is meant to hanker after, its not some kind of guitly secret to say you don't want to WFH. No need to write an essay explaining yourself

I find Mumsnet to be a bit strange about WFH, I think ita the south east middle class centric demographic,

I think you're missing the point. I'm in a genuine dilemma between flexibility and fulfilment. I'm just asking for opinions not a direct instruction on what to do.

OP posts:
Drews · 27/08/2023 09:16

For me it's invaluable but I don't have kids to watch, I don't like small talk and I need quiet to focus so it works for me.

CharlotteBog · 27/08/2023 09:17

I think the hybrid offer sounds ideal.
You've recognised that you need human interaction from colleagues. That's not some sort of weakness.

Do you have a partner? I ask because I think you could change how things are currently but only if you have someone sharing childcare with you.

VisionsOfSplendour · 27/08/2023 09:19

pickleandcheese · 27/08/2023 09:14

I think you're missing the point. I'm in a genuine dilemma between flexibility and fulfilment. I'm just asking for opinions not a direct instruction on what to do.

Show quote history

Maybe I misunderstood what you meant when you asked how much other people value WFH then. That why I was wondering why it would matter to you what I or anyone else thinks about it

It just seems that you know yourself best, if everyone else says they love it would that make you stay in a job that doesn't suit?

Velvian · 27/08/2023 09:20

I've been WFH since 2020 and feel much the same.

I am quite lonely during the week and have responsibility of the dog and cooking every night of the week. I feel quite pressured when I finish work, collect my youngest DC from ASC, give the dog a decent walk and get dinner on the table at a reasonable time. I always deal with child (and dog) sickness and emergencies.

I also have had a gradual building of resentment of being trapped in 1 room of my home all day long. Not able to use my home as I would wish and not having freedom to walk 5 minutes to meet a friend for an hour for lunch. My job just doesn't have that flexibility.

That said, I am scared to change it, as it would be worse for the DC and dog! Wouldn't really gave any impact on DH, as I'd still be the one rushing home first.

I honestly want to go and live in a static caravan somewhere and pack in 'proper' work for a while. More than that, I really want DH to give up his job.

Original poster
pickleandcheese · 27/08/2023 09:20

Yes dh is around but he works in the office full time so it's always been me who does the school stuff. He could probably wangle wfh a day a week if needed though.

The new job is 3 full days in the office. No option to wfh but I would have the other 2 days off (it's only part time).

OP posts:
DinnaeFashYersel · 27/08/2023 09:22

I never thought I'd enjoy wfh but now I know I will never return to woe in an office.

I do like the odd visit for team meetings or going to conferences but I appreciate them so much more now than I would if I was hauling myself to an office every day.

My DH wfh too so I'm not isolated and I'm out every evening either volunteering l, socialising or chauffeuring my children to things.

I have more energy for that due to no commute. More money. We eat home cooked meals all the time.

I'm much more productive and organised as far is work is concerned.

Colourfulponderings · 27/08/2023 09:22

I’d struggle to go back to even hybrid. I’m around 5x more productive 7.30-10am and do all my difficult project work then. I’d be loathed to waste my good brain time on commuting.

But DH works from home and we share the office so I also feel like I have a colleague in the room.

xyz111 · 27/08/2023 09:25

I have started to work from home the last couple of months (before was fully in an office). I love it! But we have a close team, so will have a chat on Teams at least every day, and we sometimes go and work in the office. If I was at home 5 days a week and not chatting to anyone, I'd feel lonely too.