Is WFH worth it?

[pickleandcheese]

I'm struggling to make a decision about changing jobs. Currently I work from home and have done since covid. It obviously has a great deal of pros - no commute, can work in my pjs, very flexible for childcare/school runs/sick days and overall very quiet and stress free.

However it's made me feel very isolated and our team has pretty much disbanded as a result. My work was never particularly interesting (think receptionist/clerical work) but now it's just me sat at home with no office banter or visitors. It's just really lonely. I've also fallen into the trap of keeping my 2 year old at home with me for one day a week to cut back on childcare costs and very quickly realised what an error this was. It's impossible to get anything done unless she's napping or occasionally my in laws will take her for an hour to two. But in the meantime I feel like I'm failing her and my employer.

Anyway another job has come up in a role in much more interested in but it would mean going back to the office for at least three days a week. Initially this would cost me money as I'd need to increase dd nursery days and the wage increase wouldn't cover it. It would also mean no more 'popping out' to do the school run and sick days would be sick days not just logging on and seeing what I could manage. I'd have to wear real clothes and there wouldn't be any flexibility or free time. Work time would be work time.

I'm wondering if it's worth it. How much do you value wfh? I know I've been lucky to have this for as long as I have but truly, its not all daytime tv and pjs, it can be very hard and very isolating. Wwyd in my position? I don't want to go for a new job, get it then miss my freedom.

I just think this is too binary. These aren't the only jobs in the world. If neither suits you that well, look for something that meets in the middle.

This changes how I would have responded!

If you think you'd enjoy it and you need to make a move for progression, go for it!

While I agree that wfh whilst looking after and being stuck in the house with a toddler sounds like a nightmare and I'd want to change it, OP has said her line manager is aware and fine with it.

This appears to be a mundane job that doesn't pay much. The only trump card is the flexibility, and meanwhile many employers are struggling to recruit. It's quite conceivable the employer has realised OP is staying because she's allowed to look after her child and then make the time up later, and that if they change this her incentive to stay has also gone. And that strategy has worked- she's stayed years and might hang around longer, despite having evidently outgrown the role.

It's not that unusual for organisations to have clocked that they have to allow things they wouldn't have done in 2019 if they want the staff, particularly if they've nothing much else to recommend them. No reason at all to presume an agreed arrangement like this would make employers less likely to offer remote working. Particularly not the ones who've realised they don't have much choice in the matter.

I've WFH since long before Covid (both employed and SE) and value it greatly, but I think in your kind of job (which needs more, and more regular, small interactions with others than mine - rather specialist - does), I would prefer to be mainly office-based, with some WFH for doing tasks suitable for it and that little bit of flexibility.

Men are ‘selfish’ all the time. You’re not the only person responsible for family life. You are allowed to have a fulfilling work life, and you’ll get used to a different rhythm of 2 days at home instead of odds and sods here and there. Get your DH on board and go for it.

I have been self-employed WFH between school hours for a few years now. DH has worked from home since way before Covid. I have the kids after school.

It suits my job role as a copywriter. There's no commute, I can do the housework in my break and I have peace and quiet to concentrate.

I definitely miss the banter of an office though so it's important to carve out times when you go out and see others. It's nice to have DH around although hard to never have the house to myself for a day. He might be out for the odd hour here and there. I try and work in a cafe once a week for a change of scenery.

I find the house can distract me as there's always so much to be done so you have to be disciplined but there are many benefits to WFH IMO.

I do wish I could work somewhere with people for a couple of days a week TBH.

I'd see if you can do anything to change your current job first. Go for a different role, reach out to any team mates to do some virtual team building etc first to see if that gives you what you need. More interesting work and a bit of camaraderie may help. Can you work out the house for a day a week e.g. rent some office space? If that's not possible then I'd look into the other role but see if you can do 2 days at first or 5 days in 10 in the office and make sure you have flexibility over when. I find going into the office every day:

Means there is no free time. None. Getting dressed for the office and commuting takes me about 1.75 hours. Doesn't sound much but when you only have a spare couple of hours a day, it's loads

Results in having less cash. I am bad at taking packed lunch but commuting has gone up as well

Means when they start school it's difficult to be involved. The stay and play sessions, the sports day, school shoes, parents open afternoons etc are so much easier when you wfh

Limits what clubs they can do when they are older. It's tight getting them to cubs at 5pm when wfh but it would be impossible after a commute without leaving really early and they would end up missing sessions when the trains were late etc

Also if you work in an office you will need to schedule some time say at the weekend to do washing and housework. When you wfh it's easy to do a little bits here and there

While I can see your point and understand how annoying it must be to pick up the slack of those who are simply not working, I am working. I'm logging on in an evening if I have to. I'm getting my shit done which is why my boss is ok with it. And as a pp mentioned I think they have begun to realise that by removing all the perks of office working (collaborative working, social aspect, increased fuel/electric costs at home and so on) there has to be something that makes wfh actually beneficial to staff too - like flexibility with family life and childcare.

All that said, I quickly realised wfh with a two year old wasn't going to be as manageable as I'd hoped and I am looking to change it. If I do get an office based job I will have no option but to change it and that's probably a good thing as it is tempting to sometimes feel like you can do both but the reality is just stress.

I think you should give it a go, OP, from your update that you feel you've outgrown the current job, actually. It does sound as if you're ready to embrace a bit of a challenge- and why not?!

You should not look after your child whilst “working”.

People who look after young kids whilst 'working' absolutely do my head in. Covid has normalised this and it's not a good thing.

But if the manager hasn't noticed any dip in performance then there's clearly not much to the job anyway, eh?
If the manager doesn't care why should OP.

@FasciaDreams their colleagues are probably carrying them. That's what happens in my team.

I've worked from home for 15 years, unless I have a need to go into one of our offices. If I do that, it means a hotel stay, as I'm hundreds of miles from any office, so will do at least a couple of days. That's a nice change.

I wouldn't not want to WFH.

Then you have a management problem. Or maybe a colleague problem if you don't want to throw them under the bus, I happily would.
Many people take the piss WFH and the outcome is the same - performance management. Whether the reason is childcare, simple laziness doesn't matter.

We had one person at work who didn't login until 2 p.m. Or 'logged in' but then disappeared. No reason, just laziness. Manager got complaints, verified by checking his laptop logs and put him on a PIP.

But you know not every job is full on and from what OP described hers is quite dead-end. Maybe there's simply not much to do or the managers don't care. Either way it's on them!

It sounds like you need to take this job for your own well-being. I was in a similar position and moved jobs to a role which was 4 days a week in the office and 1 day wfh after wfh full time. I was nervous but going back in and getting dressed properly/makeup/interaction really boosted me.
I would go for it! I know from experience how isolating wfh can be, it doesn’t suit everyone to do it full time.

Flexible hours is not the same perk as working from home.

I work hybrid but most the time in the office as then I don’t feel like I have to do extra because my laptop is there. Tbh there are few people in the office these days and it’s much quieter but that’s quite nice.

She said admin, I doubt it's top secret stuff. My oh WFH in cyber security for a bank as can't work elsewhere so I understand that. I was suggesting the OP could broaden her horizons

No that isn't what's happening @Floofydawg but keep going if it makes you feel better. It's not really the point of the post.

I love it but clearly you don't. Nothing wrong with this!

Came to say the same! Doesn't sound like you have a proper job at the moment OP

It sounds to me that you really need a change and a challenge? I would go for it.

Personally (just my view) I'm worried that working from home is producing a massive underclass of women who are so damn grateful for the "flexibility", that they are damaging their careers, and still bloody doing everything.

I WFH two days per week and go into the office three. For me, personally, it's the right balance. I become very demotivated by too much time at home and my mood and general happiness suffers. I really appreciate the two days at home though as my office days mean I have to get up at 5am.

It's such a personal thing. There are times when you just have to suck up a situation you don't felt like for financial reasons and others where your mental health and happiness are worth more than money.