Is WFH worth it?

[pickleandcheese]

I'm struggling to make a decision about changing jobs. Currently I work from home and have done since covid. It obviously has a great deal of pros - no commute, can work in my pjs, very flexible for childcare/school runs/sick days and overall very quiet and stress free.

However it's made me feel very isolated and our team has pretty much disbanded as a result. My work was never particularly interesting (think receptionist/clerical work) but now it's just me sat at home with no office banter or visitors. It's just really lonely. I've also fallen into the trap of keeping my 2 year old at home with me for one day a week to cut back on childcare costs and very quickly realised what an error this was. It's impossible to get anything done unless she's napping or occasionally my in laws will take her for an hour to two. But in the meantime I feel like I'm failing her and my employer.

Anyway another job has come up in a role in much more interested in but it would mean going back to the office for at least three days a week. Initially this would cost me money as I'd need to increase dd nursery days and the wage increase wouldn't cover it. It would also mean no more 'popping out' to do the school run and sick days would be sick days not just logging on and seeing what I could manage. I'd have to wear real clothes and there wouldn't be any flexibility or free time. Work time would be work time.

I'm wondering if it's worth it. How much do you value wfh? I know I've been lucky to have this for as long as I have but truly, its not all daytime tv and pjs, it can be very hard and very isolating. Wwyd in my position? I don't want to go for a new job, get it then miss my freedom.

I am fortunate I have the flexibility of hybrid, but with no set limits of how often I need to go in, it is up to me.

So I buy a parking season ticket that gives me 8-9 days parking a month and go in when I have a reason to be there. If I dont go in enough I'll send a message out the last week of the month offering to use my parking free if anyone wants it. The season ticket usually works out cheaper as long as I am in 3-4 days a month.

Most of my team are globally spread out so going into the office is more a hinderance than a help , but it is nice now and again to catch up and keep connected with people in the office in teams we occasionally work with.

It depends what your job is to be fair, with some and the data you handle absolutely shouldn't be using public WiFi or working in public.

I think you should do it.

You’ll have 2 days to completely focus on your 2 year old, and you can do school stuff that falls on your days not in the office (and perhaps swap days some weeks if your work/manager allows).

Your DH can also take time off for school stuff and should expect to share sick days 50-50 with you on your days in the office. He should request WFH on one of your days in the office to be school run and first contact for emergency pick-up. It’ll make things much more equal and future-proof your career and your family life and happiness.

Your DD is going to get more funded hours soon, so childcare costs would only be temporarily high, hopefully.

I think you’ve identified a need in your own life - being able to enjoy work better with company and more focused time - so you should put yourself first here as there are no huge downsides.

I do a 2 day office, 3 day wfh split and MUCH prefer it over 5 days office or 5 days wfh. I'd never go back to either again.

@Peamock yep I am not allowed to use any public wifi - even with a VPN and having work meetings that could be over heard woud be a disciplinary offence.

For me WFH is exactly that and that only. I even have to be careful if there are workmen in the house.

I think 2 thing are clear from your posts op:

1. You are unfulfilled and unhappy in your current role so you need to find a new job

2. You need a sit down with you DH and discuss a more equitable way to divide childcare/housework responsibilities. He doesn’t get to opt out if everything just because you wfh. I get how easy it is to slip into doing everything because you’re at home, but it’s not fair.

I would look at other jobs and eg and find something that would work for your family life. What you’re doing now doesn’t sound sustainable for your mental health xx

I think the fact that the new job is part-time is a big thing in its favour.

If it weren't for that, I think you should stick to your original job, so I can see why you're very much in 2 minds.
Would making an old-fashioned written list of all pros and cons to both help you?

Probably not much help, sorry OP.

I think it depends on the job. I work in an office in a secondary school 5 days a week and there isn't much banter as we are all horribly busy. I'm doing 2 people's jobs at least and looking for something else.

I agree that some office jobs are sociable though. Mine just isn't.

Op are you potentially going from 5 days a week down to 3 days? I know you said you will be worse off financially, but you will also be working fewer hours.

does the new job have scope for progression, and could you increase your hours in the future? You could be making a lot more money in a few years once your childcare bills reduce.

Can your DH be flexible with his hours and wfh So he can pick up some of the slack at home on your office days. And would your new job be flexible if you need it to be (sick kid, school event etc)

these are questions I’d consider before giving up a fairly cushy (but dull) job at a difficult point in family life.

I've WFH since 2019. I'm a sole employee of a charity and it saves my employer around £400 a month on paying for an office space.

I have lots of online meetings and location meetings so am always dressed professionally. Never listen to the TV or radio as it distracts me.

Could you make working from home more "work-like" as a first step?

Get dressed for the office, make sure the TV is off, book your 2 year old back into nursery.

There's lots of ways to work "with" colleagues when at home and many, many websites set up to make it seem like you are with others. You do so via video conferencing.

That way you could have the benefits of work, the benefits of the higher paid job AND the flexibility.

Keep looking for a higher paid job you'd enjoy though.

Ask ask current work for some enjoyable/challenging projects. Build your CV and stop the boredom.

Could you go into the office in this job for 2 days a week.

Sorry I've not been very clear regarding hours. I currently work part time at 22.5 hours. The other job is also 22.5 hours but because of the flexibility in my current role I tend to end up working over 5 days with one or two full days then part days for the rest of the week to get my hours in. The shorter days make it easier for school runs, childcare issues etc.

So the amount of hours wouldn't change but in the new role they'd be condensed into three full days in the office which totally removes my flexibility but does give me two full days off.

No homeworking isn't an option in the new role, it's quite collaborative and with it being part time they have specified that they'd want me there in person.

I agree with a pp about checking what the three days look like. I go into the office 2-3 days a week and it can feel equally isolating, soulless and pointless there as we are not all required to come in on the same day (in time I doubt that would even be possible as they can cut space costs if we spread out over different days).

Also I think it depends on the extent of the commute. Anything around an hour will feel a lot as you are losing six hours a week.

I'm fully wfh and would need a lot of convincing to go back to the office.

I think there's various factors to this:

The work I do is detailed analysis and I need peace and quiet to do it.

The team I work in is full of your typical IT types who don't converse and are very introverted, so it wouldn't be a social event to go in. Plus I've never had a friendly office environment in previous roles, so no nostalgia for what it could have been - just lots of back stabbing and cliques!

There's no work benefit - I'd be going in to sit on team calls to other countries and my career is very solo, it doesn't harm my progression not to be seen because I work in very measured deliverables.

I'm child free and my evenings are my own, I'm normally out at least 3 times in week, so my social life is people who I choose and I don't feel like I need the office for social interaction/escape! I also have cats who sit on my desk and supervise, so I'm rarely alone at work 🤣

I have dedicated office space in the house, which is a better set up from work so easy to distance myself in non-work hours and much more comfortable than the office

And most importantly- work is work to me, I keep to my hours and I don't do logging on outside of these just because I can - this means I don't feel like its taking over my life (learnt my lesson in covid!)

All that coupled with the time savings (I once did a 2.5 hour commute and swore to myself never again) abd the convenience, I'd never go back. But I can understand in your situation not having evenings free, the office might offer respite!

Would you be able to go into the office for a look around/tour on one of the days you'd be in OP, before you make the decision? Since it sounds like the vibe/interaction with colleagues is a really big part of what attracts you to the role.

It's not necessarily about the social element or interaction although I do miss that. But this being a new job with new people, whose to say I'd even like them 😂

It's more about the work and future progression. What I do now is mundane and there is no progression route. The work doesn't interest me whereas the new role might be more enjoyable and rewarding.

I do the same hours as you would in yiur
new role OP - 3 full days (although I do 2 in the office and 1 at home). Dd is in nursery 3 full days, there’s no ways I’d be able to look after her from home.

Do you have the option of putting your Dc in after school club for the 3 days you would work? Or two days if your DH were to work from home one day a week and was able to do the school run (if you can do it he could do it). The extra finances might be a stretch but you might benefit from getting out and working with people, and having a clearer divide between work and home.

I think the whole ‘work after the kids are in bed’ scenario is fine for emergencies but not really sustainable long term (and I’d get annoyed at my DH being able to relax in the evenings if I’M having to work as a result of doing the running around).

It needs to be a team effort.

You want to go for it. You should go for it.

The absolute worst thing that could happen is you don’t like it, and look for a different job that’s WFH again.

Don’t hold yourself back.

I’ve decided WFH is one of those things which just comes down to personal choice.

Some people love it and see it as a huge benefit, others end up feeling isolated and demotivated. I’m firmly in the latter category!

Dick colleagues is always a risk haha!

But based on your update, I think I'd want a new job, in your shoes. Regardless of whether it's this one or not. You're fed up. This job has worked, ish, during the difficult years before the free hours kick in. It's kept you ticking over. But you're a few months away from having more wiggle room.

So you could take this role now and just cope with the extra nursery costs, or you could wait a bit longer, bide your time and see if you can find something that combines better prospects with flexibility. However the one thing I'd definitely say is that you're in the process of outgrowing the current job. So you could do with a plan, at least.

I think what it boils down to is whether the personal fulfilment of me having a more enjoyable job is worth the inconvenience and additional childcare costs (albeit temporary). Home life would be more chaotic without being here to do odds jobs like stick a load of washing on in my lunch break and I wouldn't be able to pop out for the school stuff like I've been used to.

I guess I feel a bit selfish for putting my own ambitions ahead of the family.

Kind of feel like I should just appreciate the decent pay, the ease and the laid back boss of my current role rather than go chasing better things that might end up detrimentally affecting our lifestyle.

Why don't you 'trial' it by renting a co-working space somewhere and see how you handle it? Or at least work somewhere else for the day.
I appreciate this is easier said than done you can't get a nursery space on such short notice but as you work a 3 day week your DH could maybe take A/L or something?

At the very least, you will appreciate the effects of the commute.

We are now back to 2 days a week post-Covid as much as I love the office the commute takes a lot out of me. My team are based globally, but I do get to interact with and learn from 'auxiliary' people based in the office. Mostly we end up chit-chatting though.

My job is very interesting and requires focus so the locations, home or office doesn't very matter. When I'm busy I need full concentration, or have meetings with people based around the globe anyway so I hate going in just to sit at calls or work on screens at my desk. When i actually have time to network and participate with other people it's fine.

Also OP I get that our situations are different as your team is very collaborative!
but equally... we're all different. I'm not sure how though, if your are so busy WFH office will make you less so. Unless your H steps up. In any case you're still PT so that's only 3 days a week to worry about.

That makes it more worth it IMO compared to FT. And if you stick to working ONLY when you're in the office your home time is completely yours. Unlike now where you appear to be logging in much more

I think the first step is to stop wfh with a 2 year old around whom it’s impossible to get anything done. That’s just a pisstake, and makes employers more reticent to offer wfh to those who actually do it properly.

(I work with people who do this and am sick to the back teeth of picking up their slack.)