Dh - lack of job interviews- age or season??

[Stressedgiraffe]

Dh has been looking ( well sort of looking ) since June was sacked in April. He's 58 and works in IT. He wants remote senior level jobs, which he's qualified for but the few interviews he's done have been a no.
Is it his age or just because its summer?
He's finally agreed to sign on.
But aibu to think this is his sneaky way of trying to retire?

Technology people don't need to be 'good with people' so marmite is fine but they do need to be good enough at their job to be well respected for their contribution.

DH has people in his department you wouldn't let out on their own. As long as they are technically good and work hard, everyone can manage. I suspect the issue with OP's DH is that he was promoted to the point the role was 90% people and he couldn't do it, but is now to old and out of touch to do the technical work. Promoted to the level of his incompetence.

However, the lying and cashing in his pension are not explainable away. That's monumentally stupid.

'Promoted to the level of his incompetence. '

The Peter Principle

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle

Exactly that.

Which is why I'm avoiding applying for the management position in my workplace that everyone keeps pushing at me. I'm good at my job, I would be mediocre at that one and therefore miserable. Everyone else would be miserable too!

I wonder if men are more prone to the Peter Principle than women.

If I were you OP I'd be pretty darned livid - but let's take that aside and look more practically. Long periods out the market and failed probation - especially when of more senior age (not a young mistake about not applying oneself, he should know better...) are not exactly ringing endorsements for hire so he needs to just apply to EVERYTHING and take a (comparatively) shit job while he carries on looking for the 'one'. It's SO much easier to find work when you're in work.

Other options which involve paying out money:
Get some interview coaching
Get some professional careers advice / mentorship
Get some therapy- something's going on with these decisions, maybe?

In my experience Mrs Pratchett, they definitely are. Don't seem to have the self awareness, bless 'em.

@Daisy523 ah you obviously haven't met my 25 year old son- he's not a software guy but hardware and networks and comms- - worked his way up in IT services companies from 16. He is fantastic with people and hence these companies always use him as IT on site manager at their top clients.

To be brutally honest, I don't think it's anything to do with either his age or the season. I think it's much more likely that it's obvious to potential employers from either his application letters or his interview technique that he is a difficult person to work with. If he failed his probation at his previous job and had been out of work for six months before he got that one, then it sounds to me that there's a lot more to it than just being unlucky with interviews.

To be fair, a lot of the IT people I meet are more senior so I think they’re used to “not having to” schmooze 😂 These would be the “behind the scenes” manager types

A lot of the younger ones are a lot more sociable, I’ve found.

My husband is 53 and thinks he is definitely facing ageism. He gets the interviews and will go through four stages and then radio silence. I think he is being used for free consultancy during interviews.

Most of that can be outsourced. It's no reason not to work.

Also, if he's built up debts whilst working, I'd be really concerned about what he's spending whilst he's nut working.

You could be in a really vulnerable position where if you divorce he's entitled to some of your pension and you are responsible for some of his debt.

Have you given him any kind of deadline to get work or have you looked at his finances?

If he didn't last in a previous job, and then didn't pass probation in his last job, it's very possible he's feeling he won't be able to cope with a new job, or is too nervous to apply for one, and using all the excuses like wanting it to be fully remote or not a high enough salary as a way to hide his lack of confidence, I know if I had my probation extended in a job, I'd feel sxxt about my own abilities and be reluctant to take on another job. I do think this is a big issue with middle aged men and older, trying to hide their fears and insecurities.

I'd encourage him to see it as a chance to retire from his main career and take on a different type of role such as a delivery driver that would be less stress for him, but do make it clear that he needs to find a job rather than just sit at home all day.

*not

He’s taking the piss.

Why are you still with him, then?

This is insane!

He refused to apply for a £75k job and yet has no pension!?!? How is he planning on surviving in retirement????

I would be furious!

Have you actually sat down together and budgeted on how you're going to pay for retirement together? Unless you have a HUGE pension yourself, then either you're going to live on a very low income, or you'll be working until you're 75!

Given his sneaky behaviour not telling you about losing the job then cashing in and spending the pension, he's lucky you haven't kicked him out!

Oh my days OP you've posted about this at least once or twice before. Just give him an ultimatum, get a job or leave. He contributes nothing, expects you to run around like a blue arsed fly and cover him pottering. I'd make sure the bills and essentials are covered if I were you and he can fund his own lifestyle entirely til he finds a job.

To answer your question, it's neither age or season. It's your H.

That is an incredibly generous way to describe an inability to self reflect and admit to yourself you were never as good as you thought you were.

Sorry but going from being unemployed to £75k per year is huge. He’s too good for a £75k pay rise? Please. It will be easier for him to get to £750k once he’s in employment.

@MrsTerryPratchett

I too, recently did not go for a promotion. There was some surprise and polite disagreement when I said that the other potential candidate was a natural and that I was very happy indeed to remain in my current role.

It's the first time in my career that I have not reached for the bigger role. It's so very freeing. Just brilliant.

I'm guessing in the case described by OP Stressedgiraffe he hasn't had that self awareness and now finds himself a bit out on a limb.

Getting older in the workplace where you are recognised to be 'good at what you do' is a very different thing to, well, the alternative. Getting older without a role and having already cashed in a pension does seem to be a very precarious position indeed.

Hope OP finds a way forward that works for both of them.

Can he do contract or temp work?

He's workshy, a liar, thick as mince to cash in his pension, has delusions of grandeur and can't keep a job because people don't like him?

Is that right?

I'd be talking to a lawyer because I'm worried he'll want spousal support because he has no income. And you'll end up divorced and paying for him for decades

Whilst I agree with all of this, spousal maintenance is quite rare these days, although it can happen. He'd still be entitled to a fair chunk of your Pension though and you could end up paying of his debts.

spousal maintenance is quite rare these days

My worry is that rare isn't never and him being penniless, older, no pensions and her being younger, earning well...

I agree, it's definitely a possibility and she is in such a very precarious position. I only hope she sees sense soon.

He is 58 though op. What age do you think he should work to? He's not going to work the entire 20 years until you can get your pension is he? Why don't you get a better job?