AIBU to give DD this gift? (Lighthearted)

[coldchipsfortea]

18 year old DD is lovely, but has a definite habit of pinching my cosmetics and in particular perfume. At the moment I've got a v nice bottle if perfume that I got for Christmas which she uses almost daily!

She doesn't try and pretend she not using it - we can all smell it! 😂

Problem will be solved soon as shes heading off to uni in a different city in a few weeks 😭😭. I'm v proud of her, and am really going to miss her - so I had decided just to get her a bottle of said perfume as a going away pressie. A kind of "there you go have this as you wont be able to steal mine". But now a friend has said this is ridiculously indulgent and she needs to learn not to pinch my things.

I think it ok to indulge her as you only leave home for the first time once. So AIBU to give her the perfume?

Give her the perfume, when she is finding it hard and is home sick she will find it comforting. You could always include a joke about her always stealing yours

I think it's a perfect gift, a little bit of home to now call her own.

That’s a lovely gift that will also remind her of home! I don’t think it’s indulging anything to be honest.

Your friend is a fun sponge. Does she have children or anyone in her life that she cares about?

Obviously her taking the perfume doesn't bother you and your DD is 18 and about to move out - the time for teaching her "she needs to learn" is over.

It's a lovely idea to gift her the perfume.

Definitely get her the perfume. Every time she smells it she’s will think of you. It’s a lovely thing to do. It will bring her fond memories when she looks back in years to come.

Oh I think it's a great idea. Like others have said it's a bit of you for when she's feeling a bit homesick.

Ignore the friend, they probably think practical is always best, but sometimes something a bit more personal is better.

It's a lovely gift. Your friend sounds miserable

i would tell her that I noticed that she really liked this perfume and here’s a little gift from me.
I wouldn’t mention stealing.

Your friend is a miserable person. Give your daughter the perfume, it’s a lovely idea. My son is also going to uni soon so we’ll be ‘indulging’ him all we like in the next few weeks.

I think that’s a lovely gift and very thoughtful.

I used to nab a spritz of my nans perfume when we visited (which was often). She gave me a bottle when I left home and moved across the country. I’m heading towards being ancient now, but even now, whenever I decide to wear that scent it instantly takes me back to my memories of her and my grandparents home.

I think it’s a lovely gift and your friend is a miserable miser.

Perfect gift.
I wouldn't even think of her using your perfume as "stealing". I wouldn't want to share make up like lipstick due to hygiene (I don't wear makeup - but if I did) but stuff like body spray, perfume, nail polish me and my 15 year old just share.

It's a lovely idea. I have my perfumes on a shelf just inside my bedroom door so apparently that makes them communal perfumes for my dds....
I know that whenever my DDs have a stressful day or event they always use one of my perfumes, it's like their bit of security. I think it's lovely that you and your dd will be spraying the same perfume even though you are apart

Aw that's a lovely idea 🥰 she'll find it so comforting when she's missing home.

Can I be nosy and ask what perfume it is?

Thanks guys! You have reassured me. I agree with @Needmorelego that she doesn’t really see it as stealing. I’m just going to give her a bottle and say it’s for her ( and then probably go away and cry for ages 😥)

No, that's so lovely!!!

It’s ‘La Vie est Belle’. It’s lovely - but not cheap!

Get yourself a new bottle and give her the one she half used :-)

Good god is the whole point of gifts not to indulge the recipient?

Your friend sounds like they're fun at parties 🙄 of course give her the perfume, it's a lovely going away gift and the sentiment behind it is lovely. I'm sure it'll make her think of home when she wears it.

I think it's a lovely and totally appropriate gift! It's a really nice idea and it will remind her of home AND make her feel confident and put-together when she wears it. There's nothing like your favourite perfume to make you think 'Right, I've got this'.

Your friend sounds like an absolute misery-guts. I mean, yes, technically I suppose your daughter shouldn't be nicking your perfume but in reality it is absolutely standard 18-year-old behaviour to do things like that!

That’s actually brought a tear to my eye, a little piece of you to take with her ! Memories of my two daughters going away to University 🥹

Friend is a twat.

I loved having my mum's perfume around when I lived away. I also used to "borrow" (for quite a while) her scarves so I could smell her perfume. Like getting a hug from home.

Nothing is sacred in my house-DD wears my clothes, jewellery, shoes and perfume. She always associates my perfume with me and wears them to give her confidence. She doesn’t view it as stealing and neither do I to be fair. Am happy to share & would definitely gift her a bottle to go to uni with (and I did last year!)

Thats a really thoughtful and fun going away gift. Definitely give it to her - your friend however is an idiot!

Thanks for the reassurance everyone. To be fair to my friend she has two boys so hasn’t experienced the same level of ‘sharing’ of stuff that mothers of girls often deal with.

will be ordering the perfume later today 😊