To think people with money would never understand

[Canfeelamozzieflyingaround]

I live in an affluent area, we have a nice, but average house, I’m from a middle class background (I think!) but one parent from a working class background, all very down to earth.
I have a good job, degree educated, but it’s not a well paying job. In the holidays I supplement by doing some childcare/babysitting. I often babysit for wealthy people. Just being in their homes and everything about the way they are and the things they have is so different.
They would have no idea, for example that we live basically month to month and these little nights working for them pay some small bills or afford a small treat for my dc…to them it would be nothing.
Even the things they fill their fridges with and the sun creams and toiletries used (not snooping! Some on tbe coffee table, on the toilet etc)
I don’t know..I always feel less of an adult when I leave and wonder why my life didn’t go like this and theirs did

That was a measured and polite reply to what was basically a xenophobic rant.

I am glad we have all kinds of people on this thread as it helps us all understand the points of view of others. I am originally form NE England. It was not at all easy settling away from family with no babysitting even (and I went back to work after the babies very very very early - eg took 2 weeks off of annual leave and then back full time). So I never feel I have particularly had a walk in the park moving from the NE to London really.

However, someone mentioned above soft skills. The 1st in maths from Warwick brother with the PGCE who cannot get jobs within 65 miles, may be lacks something middle class people have. My parents paid for elocution and speech and drama lessons from age 5 for me (which of course i an advantage). May be the brothger could sit in front of youtube videos and learn to speak in a different way that makes him fit in with middle class people. Perhaps there is something else putting employers off too which may be only a middle class person might know eg types of clothes worn or a tattoo is showing?

I agree with Bacon that teacying is not particularly well paid. My son's friend at the massive accountancy firm in London who is now 3 year from having graduated is in a place where the partners earn about £1m a year before tax (about £500k after tax). Obviously most people don't become a partner but that is quite a high wage and the accountancy staff earn fairly well too. A first from Warwick amongst my son's friends in maths (those friends mostly being Indian because of where we live in London) would mean you were rushing to jobs where you could earn hundreds of thousands. One is a quant. One works in an investment banking company. One the accountant. My twins (white not Indian) qualify as solicitors next year. These are the kinds of jobs they all try to do if they can (although my oldest son was a postman for 3 years and for the next 4 has been a food delivery man by the way (full time PAYE) and his driving licence (for which we paid for lessons aged 17) has been his most useful qualification).

I applied to 139 law firms during my LLB a long time ago and had 25 interviews before getting my first job offer in London to train as a lawyer. I graduated in a year with the, then, worst unemployment for fifty years (3m out of work). Even though I was basically top of the year with law prizes I had to endure 25 interviews. I suppose at least by no. 25 I was getting used to them and I remember even now the relief in about February of the last year of my degree that I secured that place. Imagine if I had given up after 24 interviews.

My children's father is a teacher (also has PGCE). He moved into the private sector after a year in the state by the way, in Cheshire which I think is near where Bacon lives to private schools after he did his first year in the state sector. He has worked in private schools ever since. I don't know if the brother here wants to look at private schools in Cheshire for possible jobs as a maths teacher?

You really dont know their circumstances, they could have lots of debt and live from month to month but with a bigger salary. I think everyone has their struggles at the moment, but some are more evident than others. Be greatful for what you have thwre are lots of people worse off.

Or, perhaps the transfer didn't come in right away because they were also short of cash.

Sometimes people appear wealthier than their earnings because they have the big house, bought with an inheritance perhaps, but they have a more modest income. Bigger houses and cars have higher running costs, so although you have nice things you don't necessarily have unlimited funds.

But most people who earn lots prioritise earnings over everything else. You could get a higher paying job, but would have to give up time with DC

Working as a self employed domestic service provider for years I know how it feels when the money doesn't come in when you expect to be paid. If the arrangement for your babysitting was cash at the end of the evening you will find this customer easier to use than those who make sure they settle up with you.
No point thinking where did it go wrong for me just keep swimming upstream and hopefully things will ease at some point. When you get home appreciate as much as you can. I used to light candles and play happy music and enjoy my home because it was mine.
There are so many threads on here lately of people receiving eviction orders and my daughter went through that this year it feels like while you are crawling along, someone comes and hits you round the head with a pan. Don't look up just keep going.
Have to say I used to receive some nice Xmas presents from some clients - not all - some people have money cos they know how to hold on to it!

My whole point was about perspective but mumsnet is full of middle class middle age women who think there middle class jobs makes them poor.

I disagree with this. I think there are a minority of posters who tell us we are poor. I don’t think I’m poor I think I’m really well off and our joint household income is gasp only just 6 figures. But people on mumsnet constantly tell me I can’t afford things that I can afford because of our ‘low paid’ jobs. Making out that because we don’t earn 200k each we are a right pair of losers.

I think that one aspect of it is life upsizing. A lot of people buy a bigger house/ expensive car because they can afford it. Then life is more expensive so you don’t get better off in terms of disposable income. Personally I don’t see the point as long as my house is adequate for our needs, I’d rather we stayed with a tiny mortgage/ lower bills and had plenty of money for other stuff including saving for retirement. So interestingly the people the OP thinks are rich probably are in some cases pretty stretched.

Ultimately being well off is you personally feeling you have enough money and being ok with that.

and just one thing - the private sector has two advantages financially. The first is public sector people don’t get bonuses. They also don’t have share scheme type opportunities to make money alongside.

The vast majority of private sector jobs don't pay bonuses and most definitely don't offer share schemes.

We’re talking about ones comparable to teaching salaries though aren’t we? I think at that level it’s pretty common actually. The main point being that salary which mumsnetters are utterly obsessed with is not the full story.

I don't know if the brother here wants to look at private schools in Cheshire for possible jobs as a maths teacher?
Oh there'll be a reason and it'll be someone else's fault.
I live not far from Liverpool. Cheshire is considered posh to us. Even the less wealthy areas are commuting distance to places with opportunities for work for teachers and accountants.

Degree educated but not a well paying job.. you've put your finger on it OP.

@MrPickles73 Not all degrees are the same though and not all people are the same. Therefore not all will fulfill their potential and others, non degree holders, will leap above them.

Vast numbers of people work for companies with no shares at all. Gross misunderstanding of the economy. Public sector employment vastly outnumbers employees with a few shares. Which, incidentally, can be worthless if the company ceases trading. Bonuses are not paid to all private sector employees. Far from it. Profit share can be a worthwhile bonus though if there’s a profit! However the pensions, annual leave, maternity and sick leave are usually far more generous in the public sector.

Being degree educated doesn't really count for that much these days as they're teo-a-penny. Far too many people have degrees and it no longer sets them apart, especially if it's not from a,well respected university. Also, of course, even if you have a degree, that doesn't necessarily mean your choice of career will be well paid - look at teachers first example. Also, there are many, very well off people, who have not been educated to degree level.

Many wealthy people didn't start off wealthy & have worked their way up, so they may well have started off in a tiny house & gradually climbed the property ladder (although that's much harder to do now, especially if starting at the very bottom). My sister & I have the same background, both got degrees & post graduate degrees but are in completely different financial positions. She is very well off (through incredible hard graft & her husband has,a,well paid job) and I'm in the bottom 10% income bracket, and live month to month.

Basically, although it's easy to make assumptions about people, it's not necessarily fair to believe that they're actually the right ones!!

And there are loads better off. Why are we always encouraged to compare down and be grateful that inequalities of opportunity havent placed us at the bottom of the heap, rather than up and challenge the inequalities?

The majority of people with degrees are better off than those without. However some will always prefer a lower paying career. It’s human nature to work in a field you might enjoy. Plus very few get highly paid jobs in their early working years. Teachers do get very good pensions and do have many options for promotion. They can also live in cheaper areas as there are jobs all over the country. Some jobs are only in London with associated high living costs. These don’t all pay more and many grads live at home for years. We know masters grads earning less than £30k and paying high rents. £900 per month. Teachers in London get more salary than this. So thinking all London salaries are high is just ridiculous.

As a nanny for many years,I have worked in many houses for many different kinds of families, and something I can tell you is this, a nice house full of expensive things does not always mean it’s a happy house with happy people.

People are not mind readers, but that doesn’t mean they won’t understand….if you need the money then tell them!
“please can you transfer it tonight as I need the cash for the weekend” They know your not doing it for fun and that you are doing it to get paid.
Or maybe in future when you agree to babysit make sure they are aware at the time of booking that you need paying in cash at the end of the evening.

Gross misunderstanding of the economy.

😂😂😂 Ironically I have a degree in economics.

You seem to be grossly misunderstanding his share save schemes work though - they are set up so you don’t lose money if the company stops trading.

They really are common too, whatever you think. Of course not everyone has that option but a lot more people have access to share schemes than earn 200k.

The arrogance of some people on this site is just astounding.

Hardly anyone in hte private sector gets a bonus! I have had about £1000 at Christmas once or twice in 40 years of being a lawyer but that's it. however I do accept bankers get bonuses, often more than their salaries. They are very few of the people in the p rivate sector. On seeing how the other half live I remember years ago a teacher we vaguely knew with a young family at a leading boarding school who stole the parents' money contributed to an overseas trip - at the time we thought it was because he was exposed to some very rich people but on a teacher salary and just thought he could help himself to help is family. Very bad, criminal, unwise, but flowed from the same issue as this thread - seeing what others seem to have or do have and comparison with them. I think he went to jail and destroyed the life of his wife and young family.

I’m from a working class background where we struggled for money which caused huge rows with parents and some of the time I spent in care.
so, I would never say money is not important. When you have too little, life becomes a constant battle.

I’m now in a nice house, with a lovely family and myself/husband have decent jobs. We aren’t wealthy but have as good life and I absolutely treasure it.

I don’t think having more money than her ‘enough’ we have would make us happier. I know a few wealthy families that aren’t as happy. I think living in this society tells us more money/stuff = more happiness.

So beyond having ‘enough’ I’m not sure it matters.

@Alexandra2001

50k of student debt... haha. Have you missed the part where I said 1000s of kids with degrees are stuck in low paid jobs because there simply isn't the opportunities to go round for everyone??

I have loads of friends with students debt stuck in warehouse and factory jobs. Ones a just eat driver. Oh and we were then 9k a year students so our debts more than 50k ... It's not about lack of education...

You are seriously out of touch with my generation. Its hilarious.

@TizerorFizz

Actually for my generation so "blairs children" the outcomes for degree educated are far more marginal than those who are not.

You really need to strip the results down and take out the generational privilege.

Like I said my old boss had music degree and was around 45 years old there is no way with a music degree I could get a job now as a financial controller. I am 30 in a few months... that's the generation difference.

Also people saying well teachers have student debt well so do alot of kids now and they most certainly do not start on 30k a year.... The average grad salary is still around 23k to 25k in most areas of the country.

I'm surprised that the OP has bothered to come back to this thread at all given the way it's been systematically derailed.

I have a family member who lives in a very affluent area. She lives two streets away from the expensive houses and bought hers much cheaper to do up etc. It's still an average house though and nothing compared to the insane houses around her area. She runs a business and was frequently waiting on her wealthy clients to pay as they were so casual about money. They were usually stay at home mum's, few doctors, some lawyers, most if not all from old family money. Children in the best of clothes etc. No way they couldn't afford to pay her but they just obviously didn't see the need for urgency as they probably don't even notice their bills going out. Some of them were lovely people but just never had to think about money like us normal people.

@ilovesooty

You litterally add nothing to the debate after your last comment which basically called anyone in a none caring job rich and leechs. You nailed your colours to the mast. You are upset by the fact lots of people have an opinion on "rich". Maybe some of the comments might help op understand her life is not that bad.

A teacher who chose to move to Portugal is very middle class to have been able to have the resources to do that so the whole premise of rich people never understand is played out. She is very well off. Its shocking that it seems to be the working class with little money who are not living on credit cards and beyond there means...

Have you failed to grasp this. Why are so many middle class rich people on here moaning they got no money??? Yet there are people below them with money even though they earn much less!

@Cosyblankets

So you think middlewich, winsford, crewe and the rural villages that are largely farmers where the land is rented of the duchy are posh ???

They have some of the poorest areas in the country... this is the problem with Cheshire and the current unified authority system as everyone thinks knutsford and wilmslow but a kid from middlewich, winsford or crewe is not getting a job it a private school or a private business for that matter. A lot of class snobbery goes one here...