Toddler running indoors U or not?

[Onomatopoeiadoodle]

I live in a flat with downstairs neighbours. They are complaining about my (almost) 2 year old running indoors.

Do you think a toddler running indoors is unreasonable when you live in a flat, if so what can I do about it as we know toddlers lack impulse control and I can't leave him sitting in his play pen all day.

Any suggestions welcome

He sounds unreasonable, he cannot expect silence if he is living with another flat above him. It is not okay for him to be sending sweary, ranty voice notes. I would block him and tell him to direct all of his messages to your DP in future, or even better both of you block him and tell him to contact his landlord/ the council if he is concerned about noise levels. If all DS is doing is occasionally walking or even running across the floor and dropping toys etc then it is very unlikely that it will be seen as nuisance noise.

Normal, everyday noise is to be expected in a block of flats. On the other hand, rave music to 3am is not - this man is clearly unreasonable and expects complete silence which you are E ever going to be able to achieve and it is not realistic to try. Yes, you shouldn’t be encouraging DS to run around the house like it’s a playground and be jumping on/ off furniture etc, but some noise from footsteps is completely normal when you live below a flat and especially one with young children who are still learning to regulate. It is not realistic to expect you to stop all noise, seriously block the neighbour and tell him to complain using official routes (who are unlikely to find any problems if it is just normal household every day noise) - he is just trying to intimidate you.

Where did you all get these toddlers that don't run in the house if they've been the park? 🤣

We live in a flat and have never allowed DS to run or jump around. We've always reminded him that people live below us. It's just how it is. Some noise is to be expected for sure and it does sound like your neighbours need to be a bit more reasonable. But I'd stop your child running around.

Mine certainly used to run less in the house if we'd been out and doing other things too.

I do try to but he's not even two yet. There are times it can't be helped such as when I'm in the kitchen and he runs in to me from the living room etc or when he spots a toy across the room and makes a beeline for it.

I don’t understand at all why you are trying to accommodate someone who 1) keeps you up until 3 am playing music and 2. Sends abusive threatening voice notes. I would be leaving my own note advising him to write down all his complaints on a piece of paper, fold it up tight and pop it up his a**e

Your neighbour sounds like a dick. Carry on as you are and if you feel threatened by him, speak to the police.

What the OP is describing is perfectly normal family noise.
The child is not running constant races up and down the hall or running round and round in circles all day long. The neighbour is being ridiculous.

I would try and stop any jumping and certainly not allow jumping off furniture. No ball bouncing, and be careful if you have any sit-on toys as the wheels can make an awful racket.

I would honestly stop engaging with him. Block his number. Don't respond.

Would you warn him you'll report him to the police before doing it or not? Would a warning deter somebody like that do you think?

He sounds like my old neighbour who complained a about everything to the point that is was harassment. He cannot expect solience and the things you describe seem like normal everyday family noise. I would not engage with him any more.

Your neighbour is being unreasonable it sounds like completely normal family noise, music until 3am however is completely unreasonable.

We used to live next door to an extremely angry man who banged on the wall to any noise DP worked away a lot at the time so it was just me and 3 young children, he never banged when DP was home which ironically was when our household was/is noisier. He made my life miserable and it wasnt until we moved that i realised how much i had been modifying my behaviour and my childrens to try and accomodate someone who was just being an arse. One day he banged on the wall because DS had tripped over and fallen into the baby gate seperating the lounge from the kitchen and bounced off of that in to the wall, he had a massive bump on his head and as any 3 year old would do he screamed, whilst i was trying to comfort him next door was hammering on the wall making DS even more upset. I once came back from a day out to find him on my doorstep hammering on the door yelling through the letterbox for me to shut the dog up, the neighbours who were outside watching laughed their heads off when i got the dog out of the car as he had been out with us all day so couldnt possibly have been making any noise.

My point is you cant reason with people who think its ok to bang on a ceiling so my best advice would be that if you can hand on heart say you arent making excessive noise just ignore him, i eventually just started banging back every time he did it, also block his number there is no need for him to have it and you are not obligied to put up with someone sending you abusive messages.

I can't imagine living like this and no one should have to.

Children running in flats is a terrible noise the sound really does carry

I try not to let DS run around too early/late but only the same sort of hours I wouldn’t play loud music. I’m fortunate in that our downstairs neighbours go to work during the week but if DS is wanting to run lots in evening/weekend I sometimes make him a running track in the hallway using those foam jigsaw pieces for the floor - they seem to cushion a lot of noise.

I can't imagine living like this and no one should have to.

What do you mean by this?

Toddlers do lots of things that are developmentally appropriate but also antisocial to other people - they don't get a free pass just because of their age.

You might actually want to speak to your landlord (if you both rent) and also environmental health (often through the council) - EH can actually help with advice regarding taking note of every incidence and also with recording devices etc. Of course if you feel threatened then the police can get involved too.

Sounds like perfectly normal household noise to me, and your neighbour sounds like a knob.

Some people just aren’t suited to living in flats. I had downstairs neighbours who complained every time I walked across my (carpeted) bedroom after 10pm as it apparently disturbed them. If you’re that noise sensitive, don’t move to a flat, particularly not one with upstairs neighbours.

The ranting and swearing sounds like harassment and I’d definitely consider reporting that to the landlord / management company.

You might have more luck saying something like "walking feet" or "inside steps" rather than "don't run" (or if he goes to nursery whatever the nursery teachers say)

Has he got a wooden trainset? We lived in a first floor flat when DS1 was 2 and he would spend hours happily pushing trains round a track as a calm inside activity.

YANBU.

You've done what is reasonable. Toddlers, and indeed children of all ages, don't always follow the rules.

I think you need to get out as much as you can, and focus on more sedentary activities when you are at home. And keep them in one room, not running all around the flat. There's no need to run inside, you need to keep reinforcing that running is for outside. I've had years of hell from neighbours children running/banging/screaming until 1am most nights. It's torture.

He doesn't have any wooden train sets no and also no sit-on toys with wheels.

We do get out often, we're at the park most days and have been all over doing different activities during the last few weeks but we have to be at home at some point.

He never wears shoes indoors and neither do I.

Agree with this. You should always tell them what you want them to do, not what you don’t want them to do.

So if you want him to stop running, don’t say “don’t run”, say instead “walk please”. It’s easier for their brains to understand.

Yes I do this already. He doesn't run around all day but he's not yet two and toddlers don't have the best impulse control so there will be times he runs and I can't always stop that in time but I do try.

My DS is always running round and banging things, just living his best life. I think it's a bit cruel to say they can't do these things just because they're in a flat and not a house.

Stop apologising to your neighbour, he's playing you now.
Ignore, ignore , ignore and do not curb your dc for an unreasonable idiot.