Toddler running indoors U or not?

[Onomatopoeiadoodle]

I live in a flat with downstairs neighbours. They are complaining about my (almost) 2 year old running indoors.

Do you think a toddler running indoors is unreasonable when you live in a flat, if so what can I do about it as we know toddlers lack impulse control and I can't leave him sitting in his play pen all day.

Any suggestions welcome

@cinnamonfrenchtoast

Of course you can when it disrupts other people.

Don't be ridiculous. A toddler can run in his own house ffs! The neighbours will just have to deal with it. Absolutely normal toddler behaviour fgs

I'd contact the landlord too

My ex upstairs neighbours used to let their children run around. I'd rather listen to that than someone playing loud music.

I've spoken to him several times he's just a very hostile person. I'm not able to move at the moment unfortunately, I wish I could.

Yeah he just sounds like a bully to be honest. I'm going to take a wild assumption that you're on your own and their isn't a huge burly DH standing behind you when he comes up to complain, either.

Keep a record of his nonsense, keep doing what you're doing and don't engage further.

Although actually those foam mats might be a good shout as pp has said, probably cheaper than recarpeting. If you're a tenant I'd be tempted to get your licks in first and talk to your landlord....

Completely agree. It's really winding me up reading comments from people who have clearly never had a toddler or had them so long ago they've forgotten how active and crazy they are.

As for putting the kid in a playpen. My daughter would loose her head- I stopped using that ages ago. She knows she's being locked in and doesn't like it. I don't know any toddlers that would be okay with this 🙄

I don't agree, sorry 🤷‍♀️

Lots of behaviours are normal but that doesn't mean people should just have to put up with them regardless.

Let's be real here, no toddler is constantly running around. OP says she takes him out and he will be sitting playing/napping etc. I'd bet my last penny that as soon as the kid dares to make the slightest bit of noise the neighbour is going full Meldrew.

How this exchange came about was he sent me a message on WhatsApp this morning before DS had even woken up saying there's just too much noise recently and am I still getting a carpet.

I replied and apologised and said yes I was but it costs substantially more than I was expecting at almost £1,000 so I can't afford to get it as soon as I'd hoped.

I explained that when he banged yesterday at 1pm it was to DS running from the living room to the kitchen and asked that he please be reasonable as he kept me up until almost 3am last week playing rave music.

He's now gone off on one ranting and swearing saying I shouldn't be comparing the two as that's not everyday whereas noise from us is. He's got a funeral to go to today so he isn't in the mood, swearing and blinding, then he said he doesn't "deal with women" so to tell DP that he'll be seeing him in a threatening way.

Yes that's exactly right, even if DS drops a toy on the floor or trips over he's down there banging on the ceiling

Yep, this would be my take too! It's hard if you have neighbours who are in all day but it sounds like this guy is just being a nob. People make noise ffs

To be clear I do think OP's neighbour sounds awful but I still don't agree that toddlers should just be allowed to run because it's "developmentally normal" or "just what toddlers do".

I assumed this was a pensioner! And he doesn't deal with women? Fuck that, I'd be buying the toddler a drum kit

Gosh no he's not a pensioner no he's in his late twenties, very early 30's max.

Yes, reading the other messages which OP has added regarding the neighbour, I agree with you.
As for those saying 'only those who have currently have toddlers can comment', nope, those have have been/are being bothered by noise and those who have had/have toddlers can comment, as well as anyone else who has something useful to say.

Hmm, I'm not normally one to jump straight to 'police' but if he's being abusive, intimidating, threatening, on top of being a noise nuisance himself, then I'd phone 101 for advice.

A child running around, making normal amounts of child noise, even if you do shift work, is nothing like loud music at unsociable hours. I've had neighbours do both and never moved house because of children...

Bollocks. Children are allowed to run around in their own homes.

Grumpy fuckers keeping people awake at 3am with music especially don't get to moan about that.

Does anybody know of a file sharing site I can use to share voicenotes from WhatsApp? There's two totalling about 2-3 minutes of ranting

Anyone who doesn’t have a toddler shouldn’t be commenting!!

That rules you out too then. You have a three year old not a toddler.

If he has a funeral to go to that might explain his bad temper, but it doesn’t excuse it. Start logging your interactions so you can report to the landlord or the community police. He sounds like he could be trouble.

The neighbour sounds horrible, however children are actually not allowed to run around and make so much noise that it disturbs other neighbours on a regular basis. You can call 'bllcks' as much as you like, but unfortunately there are rules regarding noise. As it is, none of us know whether OP's toddler is making extreme noise or not.

A kid simply running around in their own home is not excessive noise.

Giving the kid a drum kit is excessive. The weight of a toddler moving about on a floor is not and never will be excessive.

I think it's his character in general unfortunately.

I do feel for him if he has a funeral to go to and agree that probably does contribute to his stress levels at the minute.

I suspect he's got his own stuff going on and is fixating on us and making the problem bigger in his head than it is and taking it out on me.

A toddler running IS normal household noise.

If he was jumping on the bed all day, or jumping off the furniture loudly all day then that would be excessive, but a toddler moving around their house in a normal manner is not excessive. You can't reasonably expect a 2 yr old to tiptoe or moderate their steps.

There's no jumping off furniture or jumping on the floor or anything intentional like that, I would never allow that.

The noise truly is just walking/running, the occasional toy being dropped or DS tripping up (he has tibial torsion and intoeing so his balance isn't fantastic)

While a small child/toddler running around the floors in a flat is fairly normal behaviour it definitely could potentially also generate excessive noise, depending on factors such as insulation, flooring type, how often they do it, if they are running or also jumping etc. I am probably more on OP's side than the neighbour, based on what she has told us, but as none of us are actually witnessing it we cannot be 100% certain either way. I do also think OP needs to keep a diary of events - when complaints are made, what is said, what she perceives her child to be doing just before the complaint etc. That way she can actually complain to the landlord about the neighbour if need be, or she has information to use if he complains about her. Give and take is always the way to go in these situations, but of course both parties need to do that.
@Onomatopoeiadoodle I've edited to tag you regarding the bit I've written regarding keep a record - you might need it at some point! Good luck. The extra info you have added further down makes me think he is more of an issue than your child, good luck!

I've just remembered something else. I had to install a new door threshhold plate between the living room and kitchen last week as it needed replacing and was hazardous.

I quickly took the old one up and installed the new one in 10 minutes max and he was thumping on my ceiling with something heavy for the duration. It was half past two in the afternoon.