Worst damage your kid has ever done

[Poopatrolonthetoiletroll]

Currently counting down the days til the DC go back to school. The constant mess is fraying the ends of my sanity. What's the worst mess or damage your DC has ever done.

Worst for me is my toddler DC did a massive poo on the floor and when I went to get stuff to clean it up with they repeatedly rammed their vtech toot toot elephant through it. Absolute carnage and huge tears when I wanted to throw it away. No it was. Not the carpet but getting all the poo out of the elephant and sanitising it.

Bring on September

I'm going to save this thread to read on the rare occasions when I regret not having had children.

At 3 year old got out of bed early hours and used tooth paste to draw on brand new carpet just put down day before , at 6 threw a controller as lost a game on Xbox went right through living room window , at 12 tried cooking an egg in the microwave fully shelled set at 10 mins blew the door off the microwave sending it out the kitchen window , now 17 is banned from kitchen as tried cooking spaghetti in pan with no water .

Eldest DD (now 4) was playing upstairs with her buddy R last year, when Storm Eunice(?) knocked out the power. R’s mum and I were downstairs and heard running water. Turns out one of the girls had washed their hands but left the plug in the sink and tap running. Water through kitchen ceiling. Cleaned it all up, but when the power came back on three days later it became apparent that lots more damage had been done. Luckily R’s dad is an electrician and his guilt (neither girl would admit who left the tap on) meant he did all the repairs for free.

DD2 drew in Sharpie all over the arm of IL’s expensive leather sofa. DH offered to pay to replace, but luckily MIL blamed FIL for letting a 2yo have access to a Sharpie.

ILs’

I'm laughing out loud at some of these. Toddlers are great seems to be the theme!

Our toddler dunked my DH's new uninsured iphone in the toilet for long enough to ruin it, and separately threw his fancy car keys in the communal rubbish bin, not telling us until days later when they were long gone.

My brother once punched a hole in a wall of my parents house as they didn't let him have the entire school year over for a booze filled leavers party, and he had already invited everyone 😂

Dropped an entire open 5L bottle of sunflower oil all over the floor. Great times. Not

Ds broke dd’s bed a couple of weeks ago 😩

When my SS was around 4 or 5 his parents bought their first and only new car. SS decided to help his parents by washing it about a week after they got it. Only he washed it with a stone - every panel was covered in scratches.

Brand new kitchen. Not even so much as made a sandwich in it.

dd then 10 decided to chop up crayons on it. Kitchen top ruined. 🤬

My eldest and her cousins painted my mirrored wardrobe and brand new cream carpet in red nail polish, they then tried to wash away the evidence in my sink.

Omg 😂
I'm surprised the cat put up with that, mine would have gone ape shit.

My dd wrote I love my daddy in pen on the side of the leather sofa he sat on she’s now 18 and we still remind her of it now

My nose

Not as bad as it sounds , she was about 2yo sitting on the floor . I bent to help her with her shoes and -as only an agile toddler can do- she went from sit to stand in one fell swoop.
I heard the crunch saw the blood and shreiked .
She burst into tears and ran upstairs ..I was the one with the busted nose !

We laugh about it now she's 21 yo

DS is a picker.

When we were 5, we stayed in a holiday cottage. There was a tiny piece of wallpaper loose.

The third morning that I woke him up, half the wallpaper in his room was on the floor. He'd picked and picked and picked and got as much off the walls as he could. We were a paint house, so I guess he didn't know what it was.

Thankful for an understanding holiday owner.

Not my kids, but a flat we went to view some years ago. The flat was gorgeous, and had stripped pine doors. But some kid (I presume) had taken a biro or some other hard implement and scribbled on all the midrails of the doors, so hard that there were gouges that you'd never manage to sand out.

At the time when my mother died unexpectedly, and I had just received life saving surgery at the same time we decided to move into her house to deal with her pets, family business and probate. This involved moving my house contents a few miles over a course of a few days to be all in one place to deal with it all. I didn't have time to recover from surgery, which had made me worse not better. Once finished moving, I left teen son in charge of making pizza for us while I sorted boxes out. He left stove unattended while gaming on phone, and stove caught fire. I came back into house to barking dogs, smoke and flames shooting up the wall having caught worktop boxes alight. I got there in the nick of time before the fire got out of hand, but lost my temper with him as under much strain and ill health. I don't think he saw his phone for months...

I remember being out with all the children (6) and my youngest daughter was tired and whiny and wouldn't push her toy pram anymore, so as I already had a real pram to push I asked my son who was about 9 at the time to push it. He didn't really want to but he did...until he decided he'd shove it across the road right in the path of a bus who slammed on the brake (probably sending passengers flying) because he thought it was a real pram and baby! I was mortified and my youngest daughter then cried and "told off" her brother so he shouted at her. My other kids were laughing. I'd never wanted to get home so quickly in my life.

They weren't too bad when they were small but when they were teenagers things went downhill. Nail varnish on the carpet in 2 rooms. Put a hot cast iron pan on a UVPC window ledge to cool down - melted straight through it. During a party they put used glow sticks on the brand new dining table and whatever leaked from them ate through through the varnish. Burn marks on many things from straighteners. Cup ring marks on the piano.
They are adults now and take good care of their own homes but my house bears the scars of the teenage learning process.

Forgot about DB’s antics. Once when about 14 he threw a cushion onto the roof of the noise, then went up to retrieve it. Slipped, grabbed a pipe for support and swung back through his bedroom window. Which was closed at the time.

Parents didn’t know whether to be relieved or furious. One the one hand, the house is Georgian with high ceilings and set into a slope, so it would have been a huge fall. On the other hand, Georgian houses in an AONB need planning permission to replace original windows, which then need to be in a very particular (ie expensive) style.

He never clarified why he threw the cushion onto the roof.

Mine at 2 years old span a camera on a string round and round and let go… it smashed the window of his grandparents brand new static caravan.

He pissed into the gas fire at 3

At 12 months he toddled off with grandmas iPad and threw it through the banisters and down the stairs… stupidest thing is that 3 of us all saw him pick it up and go down the landing and we just stood there and watched him do it!

😲 😳 wow

My eyes are watering just reading that 😩

To echo PPs, my pelvic floor is in shreds after two large babies (in their twenties now, born at 8lb 13oz and 9 lb), plus the effect of me aging and being hyper mobile. I've already had two surgeries, but now need another one as one repair has now failed and is causing me problems (I have another failed repair but it's causing me no issues, so it's fine for now.)
DC1 had a head like a bowling ball and would hurl it backwards as a baby. They broke my nose twice, the second time it never healed properly, so I can get hold of the cartilage and move my entire nose from side to side (I have very short nasal bones apparently). I don't do it often as the sensation makes me feel sick.

Not all the same child. 90% of it was…
joys of autism with developmental delays! On the plus side my calm breathing exercises are on point 🤣

My son when he was about 2 scraped a toy right down the middle of our day's old expensive TV repearedly so it had numerous scores down it. Got a new one and a few days later he launched a different toy which accidentally hit it and smashed the screen internally. For his 9th bday we got him a gaming monitor which knocked over after a couple of days accidentally when trying to adjust it and it also burst the screen inside. He's a bit jinxed.