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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect nursery not to stain ALL the clothes?

143 replies

Hollyisalrightactuallysorry · 23/08/2023 16:47

Posting this as I genuinely am not sure if IABU

DS1 is 4 and DS2 is 20 months. DS1 went to a nursery where we used to live. No issues, fairly run of the mill. All of his old clothes are now being worn by DS2.

New nursery started 4 months ago for both. Again, no major concerns and kids have settled in nicely

Except, DS2 comes home with at least 2 bagged up bundles of clothes each day and is usually wearing his 3rd set. On washing the clothes, almost all of them are covered in paint. And this paint does NOT come out. I've tried everything!

I've just counted and DS2 now has just 4 t shirts and 2 pairs of shorts that aren't stained. And I'm talking quite badly, not just flecks.

I've brought this up with the nursery and they've sort of taken the attitude that I should expect clothes at nursery on a 20 month old to get ruined and therefore should just keep sending him in wearing the stained but clean clothes

The problem is that they are going through so many clothes each day that I end up inevitably sending him wearing something not stained and begging them to put overalls on.

I don't understand how DS1 wore these clothes for a whole season without getting a single stain on them and we are now not able to get through a single day without something being ruined.

I don't know what else to do. I've asked for overalls to be worn and asked why they don't use washable paint. They say they'll water the paint down but the latest bags of clothes are also ruined

AIBU to expect nursery to take a bit of care when using materials that stain?

YABU- pretty usual at nursery at that age
YANBU-I'd raise it with management again

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 23/08/2023 16:49

Meh. He’s having fun and they’re doing a good job of looking after him.

Just tie-dye his clothes so the paint stains don’t matter.

TomatoSandwiches · 23/08/2023 16:51

YABU

Just send them in the stained items, I was always very happy to see them messy and covered in stuff at pick up.

Mummy08m · 23/08/2023 16:51

Yabu, they learn so much from messy play and creative play.

Just send him in the already-stained clothes

IDontDrinkTea · 23/08/2023 16:51

My kids have home clothes and nursery clothes, so that they can wear non-stained stuff on the days they don’t go, and then the stained stuff as long as it’s clean can be worn again and again to nursery

Peachespeachesohpeaches · 23/08/2023 16:52

I don't care about this. DD comes back filthy most days, I keep the stained stuff just for nursery and bin it when she grows out of them. Everything gets washed, it's just marked. I keep nice stuff for the weekends.

Older DD finished reception with only one half decent shirt, all the others were covered in pen and paint. It's just clothes.

TomatoSandwiches · 23/08/2023 16:52

I bought mine tops, joggers and jumpers from the ASDA school range, literally under £20 - 30 for a whole weeks worth of full time nursery clothes.

Amethyst2023 · 23/08/2023 16:53

i bought second hand bundles from Vinted for mine to wear to nursery so that I had enough clothes I didn’t mind getting ruined.

Thisismynewusername1 · 23/08/2023 16:53

I don't understand how DS1 wore these clothes for a whole season without getting a single stain on them and we are now not able to get through a single day without something being ruined

because the old nursery didn’t do messy play, and this one does?

which would you rather- keep the clothes clean but your child doesn’t get to do explore their environment or make a mess, or sacrifice a few tops for a more enriching, interesting day?

buy cheap bundles from eBay or charity shops, send them in clean but stained clothes, bin when they get too bad.

i bought nearly all my kids clothes from eBay. If I didn’t want them stained, they didn’t wear them to nursery.

eta- the best thing about lots of messy play at nursery is you don’t need to do it at home and ruin your furniture!

SnapdragonToadflax · 23/08/2023 16:54

It sounds like they're using non-washable paint - perhaps a cost issue? I doubt there's anything you can do tbh.

I don't mind stains on nursery clothes. Could you buy a couple of bundles off Vinted to get some cheap nursery clothes so the nice stuff doesn't get used?

PicturesOfLily · 23/08/2023 16:54

I think you have to expect some mess but I would be annoyed with regular paint stains. My dd’s nursery put an apron on her when painting. Why are they changing him if they’re going to do more messy activities?My eldest went through a phase of coming home with ripped leggings/tights every day and they didn’t know what was causing it. Eventually they found she was sitting down on the standing area rather than at the top of the slide and then shuffling to the slide and ripping her leggings. It was really annoying having to chuck so many in the bin!

MariaVT65 · 23/08/2023 16:55

Mummy08m · 23/08/2023 16:51

Yabu, they learn so much from messy play and creative play.

Just send him in the already-stained clothes

Absolutely this. My son’s clothes get stained with paint and food at nursery. I have no problem whatsoever with this and I just send him back in the same clothes.

Original poster
Hollyisalrightactuallysorry · 23/08/2023 16:55

Thanks all. @Thisismynewusername1 DS1 definitely did messy play. I saw the photos! Came home often covered in paint! But a quick wash and it all came out

This stuff doesn't

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 23/08/2023 16:56

I know some people buy an unofficial uniform for nursery (so just a pack of t-shirts / pack of shorts) and they wear the "same" everyday and it's replaces as and when?

Clothing bundles from Ebay / Vinted could work too.

rainbowsparkle28 · 23/08/2023 16:57

Just send them in clean but stained clothes, else all you are doing is ruining more clothes. Ultimately their priority is rightly to ensure that your child is safe and happy not that their clothing is kept spotless.

90yomakeuproom · 23/08/2023 16:57

Can't vote but YABU

WeightoftheWorld · 23/08/2023 16:57

I just send my kids back to nursery in the stained clothes on repeat. Have always done this since my eldest started years ago.

Icannoteven · 23/08/2023 16:58

Yanbu. Even if you use cheap or second hand clothes this can get expensive.

my first daughter went to a childminder and although they did messy play every day and fed themselves her clothes were not ruined. Her collar/ cuffs may have a couple of food stains for instance or she might have muddy trousers but that was it. Because the childminder took care to dress them appropriately for activities, using overalls and bibs/aprons.

My second daughter went to a nursery and came home a state every day. Not just ‘happy but messy’ - I’m talking tops and leggings with non -washable paint all over the front and back. Wet trousers from the garden, snot on her face etc. yes, I want my kids to have fun, explore and do activities but I also do not want to be spending my life savings on clothes! Just use the damn aprons/ waterproofs/bibs etc and make sure craft materials are washable! It is so disrespectful to parents, their time and their finances. It’s just laziness and not caring.

JapaneseSlipper · 23/08/2023 16:58

These replies are all entirely predictable but YANBU OP. It’s entirely possible to do messy play without destroying clothes altogether. They should use overalls and washable paint. It’s simple

Dinoswearunderpants · 23/08/2023 16:59

I can understand the frustration. Perhaps you could provide an all in one to wear whilst doing messy play?

Also get on Vinted and buy a bundle of clothes. You should grab a bargain.

AlltheFs · 23/08/2023 17:00

YABU

Clean but stained clothes are fine for nursery. I don’t send her wearing anything “nice”.

Original poster
Hollyisalrightactuallysorry · 23/08/2023 17:00

@Icannoteven I realise most of the replies say IABU but this is what he's coming back and my view like (in fairness, clean face)
I’m talking tops and leggings with non -washable paint all over the front and back. Wet trousers from the garden, snot on her face etc. yes, I want my kids to have fun, explore and do activities but I also do not want to be spending my life savings on clothes! Just use the damn aprons/ waterproofs/bibs etc and make sure craft materials are washable!

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 23/08/2023 17:00

Often the kids in the dirtiest clothes are the ones who remove the bibs / aprons.

Original poster
Hollyisalrightactuallysorry · 23/08/2023 17:02

Basically at 3/4 sets a day I'm doing soooo much washing and needing 12-18 sets of t shirts/shorts etc which I just don't have unless I use the nicer stuff

And to be clear I have absolutely no issue at all with food and mess on his clothes, it's just the stuff that doesn't come out id ask for a bit more care with

OP posts:
Duddlepucks · 23/08/2023 17:02

You are being unreasonable. You can't expect nursery staff to stop all the kids in their care from getting their clothes dirty. Send him in in the washed stained clothes. Our nursery asks us to do this!

HeartShapedBox · 23/08/2023 17:04

The paint ds nursery uses doesn't come out in the wash, unless you do this first-

Dab off any excess wet paint, wet the stained area, then rub washing up liquid into the area. Leave to soak in for a few hours, then wash on a hot wash and voila! Won't help for the stuff already ruined, but might work for newly stained items.