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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect nursery not to stain ALL the clothes?

143 replies

Hollyisalrightactuallysorry · 23/08/2023 16:47

Posting this as I genuinely am not sure if IABU

DS1 is 4 and DS2 is 20 months. DS1 went to a nursery where we used to live. No issues, fairly run of the mill. All of his old clothes are now being worn by DS2.

New nursery started 4 months ago for both. Again, no major concerns and kids have settled in nicely

Except, DS2 comes home with at least 2 bagged up bundles of clothes each day and is usually wearing his 3rd set. On washing the clothes, almost all of them are covered in paint. And this paint does NOT come out. I've tried everything!

I've just counted and DS2 now has just 4 t shirts and 2 pairs of shorts that aren't stained. And I'm talking quite badly, not just flecks.

I've brought this up with the nursery and they've sort of taken the attitude that I should expect clothes at nursery on a 20 month old to get ruined and therefore should just keep sending him in wearing the stained but clean clothes

The problem is that they are going through so many clothes each day that I end up inevitably sending him wearing something not stained and begging them to put overalls on.

I don't understand how DS1 wore these clothes for a whole season without getting a single stain on them and we are now not able to get through a single day without something being ruined.

I don't know what else to do. I've asked for overalls to be worn and asked why they don't use washable paint. They say they'll water the paint down but the latest bags of clothes are also ruined

AIBU to expect nursery to take a bit of care when using materials that stain?

YABU- pretty usual at nursery at that age
YANBU-I'd raise it with management again

OP posts:
Alphabetica · 23/08/2023 17:37

I also waste so much time and effort pre-soaking nursery clothes, to barely any effect anyway!

Seashor · 23/08/2023 17:38

I come out absolutely covered in paint, sand, mud, dinner, yoghurt, snot, saliva, felt tip etc etc most days. I have three outfits I wear on a rota. I’m the Foundation stage teacher!

Haretest · 23/08/2023 17:40

I'd be more curious about why they are changing him out of stained clothes twice a day, presumably to then do more messy activities?

DNAwrangler · 23/08/2023 17:42

Yeah YANBU OP. Sure, messy play etc is great, but three sets of clothes per day on a regular basis is just ridiculous.

the problem here is making people understand the sheer volume of clothes/extent of the issue.

i had similar with my DS at forest school, coming back absolutely soaked in mud that the caretakers had encouraged the kids to roll in like pigs. Resulting in hiking boots, snow suits etc (not uk) absolutely caked in wet mud/slime. The same (expensive, so no doubles!) stuff that they needed to be wearing the following morning, magically washed and dried. Lots of ‘oh but you have to expect a bit of mud’. yep, obviously, but it’s not a bit of mud.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 23/08/2023 17:44

Why are they changing him three times a day?

Surely stopping that would solve the problem Confused

Duttercup · 23/08/2023 17:45

People saying it impedes free play, surely it impedes free play having to get changed three times a day too?!

swimminginthesun · 23/08/2023 17:47

I hear so many parents complaining about kids‘ clothes getting stained. I’ve honestly never had an issue. Almost all of the crap my kids get covered in washes out (including the paint at nursery that lots of other parents complained about). I wonder if it’s because most people use non bio washing powder whereas I use bio. 🤷‍♀️ I can’t think of anything else it could be.

Absolutelynotfor2019 · 23/08/2023 17:51

Why do your children have multiple changes of clothes every day ?

Mmr224 · 23/08/2023 17:53

Those who do.laundry every day and can tumble dry clothes can probably do with 6-8 parts at that point.

I would need 4-5 days of clothes, because I normally can't use the washing machine during the week. I work extended hours Monday to Thursday and I'm home too late to run a washing machine in our badly soundproofed flat. So I do all the laundry Friday to Sunday ready for the week. Stained things get sponges, soaked in a water bucket, a quick hand wash as necessary but really stained clothes like these are still also going to need a machine wash.

We are in a tiny 2 bed with no space for a tumble drier so can't dry things overnight for next day even if I did hand wash at night.

Clefable · 23/08/2023 17:53

The older DD1 got, the fewer outfit changes she got, so now at 4 she frequently does come home in same outfit she went to nursery in, but DD2 recently started at 12mo and I'd forgotten the scale of outfit changes! She usually has around 3 a day because she's got wet from the water tray and I think they are more assidious about changing the little kids when they aren't able to voice if they are uncomfortable or not.

And we use bio powder and I pre-apply stain remover but it doesn't get rid of some of the paint, depending on the colour. It's the type of paint in our case, as our more expensive washable paint from home washes out fine.

Clefable · 23/08/2023 17:55

And yes I usually have a wash and dry on every day so I don't find it that difficult to manage in terms of volume. I just chuck the clothes in washing machine at the end of each day and they get washed and we have a tumble dryer and can use both at any time of day/week.

But Vinted is honestly so worth it. I spent £15 and got a huge bundle of tops and leggings that are just nursery use.

MrsMarzetti · 23/08/2023 17:56

I would be more concerned if my children came home in spotless clothes.

Favouritefruits · 23/08/2023 17:57

YANBU I had the same issue with my eldest in Reception, I don’t care if he comes home covered in paint and felt tip and I have to wash umpteen times a week but why the hell don’t these places use washable items 😣

RecklessBlackberries · 23/08/2023 17:57

Just ask them to change him less? I can see why he needs a change if he's drenched head to toe, but not if he just has paint or mud on him.

FofB · 23/08/2023 18:01

Is there any reason why they don't use washable paint? Is it drastically more expensive? I don't think it's entirely unreasonable to ask them to switch to washable next time they place an order.

I full support mucky children but I get your point- it's consuming water, electric etc every time you need to wash/dry 3 sets of clothes.

I had a pile from the charity shop that mine wore to pre-school.

Pottedpalm · 23/08/2023 18:04

At DT’s nursery class the children all wore an overall, a smock really, which fastened at the back with velcro. We put this on when they went in and it protected clothes from paint, sand, water, snacks.. very few messy clothes.
Even at playgroup there was a ‘no painting without an apron’ rule.

DatumTarum · 23/08/2023 18:05

MrsMarzetti · 23/08/2023 17:56

I would be more concerned if my children came home in spotless clothes.

This!

Charity shops and Asda are good places for muck cheap clothes. Asda used to do multi packs of babygros for a few quid. Work out at about £1 each!

Send him in those

SquigglePigs · 23/08/2023 18:08

YANBU. Of course they should be wearing aprons/coveralls when painting. DD did loads of stuff like that and marks on her clothes were never much. Only one t-shirt got ruined after she leant over the table to grab something after she took her apron off and put her stomach in red paint in the process! The odd thing is fair enough and so is dirty but they shouldn't be doing that to clothes at that rate! An apron should be standard, not something being treated as an unreasonable request.

Tortoisetowers · 23/08/2023 18:08

Ask for the brand of paint so you can find out the washing instructions and if it really is washable paint

Waxdrip · 23/08/2023 18:10

Messy play is great but I don't think that it's good to teach children that clothes and their parents' time and money are limitless and disposable. It's better to teach them to take care of their things and themselves as far as they can. Even very young children can learn to wait long enough to put an apron on.

ClinkyWotsit · 23/08/2023 18:31

Theres a US insta account called Busy Toddler and she uses hand soap to pre-treat so-called ‘washable’ paint before washing - rinse with warm water, lots of hand soap, give it a good scrub together, add more hand soap, scrub vigorously again then let it sit for 15-20 mins before chucking in the machine. May be worth a go for anything you’d really like to save before it’s discarded.

DatumTarum · 23/08/2023 18:35

Of course you may have that child who joyfully belly flops into the middle of everything and rolls around.

Badbudgeter · 23/08/2023 18:38

Im past that stage thankfully. Just send him in the stained stuff. Nice clothes are saved for home or other stuff anything a bit stained becomes nursery clothes. Avoid anything light coloured or with pale stripes etc.

Invisimamma · 23/08/2023 18:56

It's a pain but just have home clothes and nursery clothes. Asda/primark joggers and t-shirts are so cheap, they have plain t-shirts for £1.50, so just buy a load of those for nursery.

Keep the nicer non-stained stuff for days he's not at nursery.

Smellslikesummer · 23/08/2023 19:38

YANBU, I can’t believe they are using non washable paint.

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