To expect nursery not to stain ALL the clothes?

[Hollyisalrightactuallysorry]

Posting this as I genuinely am not sure if IABU

DS1 is 4 and DS2 is 20 months. DS1 went to a nursery where we used to live. No issues, fairly run of the mill. All of his old clothes are now being worn by DS2.

New nursery started 4 months ago for both. Again, no major concerns and kids have settled in nicely

Except, DS2 comes home with at least 2 bagged up bundles of clothes each day and is usually wearing his 3rd set. On washing the clothes, almost all of them are covered in paint. And this paint does NOT come out. I've tried everything!

I've just counted and DS2 now has just 4 t shirts and 2 pairs of shorts that aren't stained. And I'm talking quite badly, not just flecks.

I've brought this up with the nursery and they've sort of taken the attitude that I should expect clothes at nursery on a 20 month old to get ruined and therefore should just keep sending him in wearing the stained but clean clothes

The problem is that they are going through so many clothes each day that I end up inevitably sending him wearing something not stained and begging them to put overalls on.

I don't understand how DS1 wore these clothes for a whole season without getting a single stain on them and we are now not able to get through a single day without something being ruined.

I don't know what else to do. I've asked for overalls to be worn and asked why they don't use washable paint. They say they'll water the paint down but the latest bags of clothes are also ruined

AIBU to expect nursery to take a bit of care when using materials that stain?

YABU- pretty usual at nursery at that age
YANBU-I'd raise it with management again

YANBU - it's expected that nursery clothes will be stained and get dirty but I would be concerned at the high volume of clothing being stained on a daily basis.

I have no objection to messy play but they should be using overalls/pinafores etc to prevent as much damage to the kids clothes as possible - why are they regularly going through multiple outfits a day, either leave them in the stained clothes until all the messy play is done or wear protective clothes over theirs to minimise the clothing changes needed.

DD went to preschool in Spain and from about 2 in the school nurseries they put them all in little pinafores/jackets that cover their clothes and keep them clean from messy play/lunch etc. Every child has two at school - one to wear and one on their peg just in case - and then they send them home when they're dirty and you send a clean one back in.

It sounds as if the nursery could take more care when doing these activities. My DC did all the messy play stuff and sometimes came home in spares or sometimes the clothes were stained, and that's fine. But it wasn't three outfits every session. So YANBU on that score but if you're otherwise happy with the nursery I would buy cheap multipacks for nursery in darker colours and mentally write these clothes off as soon as you buy them

I don't think yabu! I had the same when DS was at nursery (a long time ago now!). I was at uni full time and had no money. The only clothes he had were eBay bundles I'd buy every 6 months with a few bits in. Nursery basically laughed in my face when I asked them to put an apron on him and told me to have separate stuff for nursery... I went home and cried because I could barely afford to eat at that time, let alone have the money for wasted clothes!

Thank you, this is super useful and I'll do this going forwards

YABU

A dirty child is nearly always a child who has had a lot of fun.

Cheap supermarket clothes and don't worry about sending them in paint stained clothes either.

I sent my child to forest school. They had a mud kitchen. Rarely did they even bother changing clothes. I just picked up with big towels and planned on a bath as soon as we got home.

cheap clothes and accepting that stained clothing is okay to reuse is the way to go

Our nursery paint stains too, I've just accepted it and buy second hand stuff off Vinted and send both DDs in in stained clothes. I got like a complete set of nursery stuff for DD2 for about £15.

And the overalls thing is because it is contrary to the philosophy of free play and letting children go between activities as they wish rather than having to stop the flow of play to put an overall on, then take it off to move onto something else. At home we would sit down to paint for a period of tiem and I'd put a painting smock or something on, but at nursery DD might flit from the painting table, to some of her friends playing in the tuff tray with dinos, back to painting, then to the home corner, back to painting again etc. and I can see how repeatedly putting overalls on and off every time would be a bit disruptive to that natural kind of flow.

You need to expect stains and a degree of mess, but even “messy play” does not need to involve literally smothering themselves in paint and rolling in mud multiple times a day. They should have aprons, be encouraged to keep paint on whatever it is they’re painting and they should do it once, get messy and then do something less messy the rest of the day. Encouraging little kids to get incredibly dirty almost for the sake of it seems to be in fashion at the moment and I hate it.

But my views above almost certainly conflict with the current views of early year’s development and the eyfs curriculum and the notion nursery children should have free access to do whatever they want all day. And the ratio required to put aprons on, give sufficient attention while painting etc is just not possible.

I don't think it's too much to ask for washable paint. So I'm with you on this. Messy play isn't enhanced by non washable paint.

I'd buy some more clothes cheap on Vinted and have a basket each for solely nursery clothes. If you don't have two spare sets to send in daily, don't send spares in on those days.

Have a dedicated pile each to get ruined that they wear until its too small.

There was a mum at nursery who three boys then a girl and the daughter came in daily in her brothers clean rags. No one commented. Nothing she wore was without rips and holes.

I don't think it matters but I would be annoyed too

If its free play children often start painting before staff notice. Stopping them to get on an apron does stop/impede their creative joy.
Some point blank won't put on a apron so you have to decide if they should not be allowed to do the activity without an apron or get dirty clothes.
Get cheap clothes for them to wear. It does sound as though they are having fun.
Annoying that the paint doesn't come out though. We do use washable paint that in the main comes out of clothes.

Which cost money. Money that the nursery possibly doesn't have.

And I think it also depends on the child. Different children seek mess to different levels. If you have one that homes in on mess, you are screwed.

The type of paint matters. I'd have a chat with the manager about it. I've used all kinds over the years in nurseries and some is definitely better than others. We acquired some paint pens once from a nursery that shut down. Basically like bingo dabbers. It took 2 days to come off my hands even with constant washing. Red and black powder paint stains more than other colours too.

Paint on clothes doesn't make them ruined. To me, ruined is unwearable, eg hole that can't be fixed. They're not smart anymore, but so what?

Re aprons, have you ever been in a nursery for much time? The staff ratio means they really can't stand over the kids making them put aprons on and off. They're needed for other stuff to keep kids safe and happy.

Just send him in washed but stained clothes, it's fine.

I would be asking why they don't use washable paint though.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It sounds like you need 3+ complete sets of nursery clothes per day as all thier sets are coming back paint stained, so 15-20 sets for the week. That is an awful lot of clothes to write off completely and still buy a decent amount of clothes for child to wear the rest of the time.

I certainly couldn't afford 15-20 sets of nursery clothes per 2 x children plus another 8-10 sets of 'normal' clothes per child. I already buy all thier clothes second hand so says just buy super.arket stuff or second hand stuff doesn't help. I really feel for you.

Just send him back in wearing the paint splashed clothes. It’s a bit of a non issue.

I remember one of my DS getting to use scissors and kept cutting, ripping his clothes, in fact anyone's clothes, in the end I just kept sewing them up. I use to use bright coloured thread just to make a point. He did grow out of it or the teachers started to pay attention

I hate nursery paint, bloody stuff never comes out so DD has dark nursery clothes from poundland so I don't care how ruined they get.

I did have a moan about this to management and they did buy those coverall bib type thingys (sorry can't remember what they're called) for paint time as I wasn't the only parent who complained which did help.

Even washable paint doesn't come out unless you wash it straight away which obviously you can't if he's at nursery.
If ruined clothes are that important maybe consider a childminder. They usually have less children so will make sure all children are wearing an apron. In a nursery that's not possible as art activities are left out for longer, more children and the staff sometimes don't notice a child painting until it's too late. Or could you ask them to just change him at the end of the day so it's just one lot of dirty clothes?
Although my DS wears an apron for painting and still gets it everywhere. I just buy cheap Primemark or Asda stuff and tbf all his nursery clothes are washed but stained. Shows he's had a good time IMO.

could you buy a full overall and put it in his stuff and ask nursery to use it when he paints?

Yes, this.

Im quite surprised at the posters shrugging and saying just to buy more clothes.

The sets he is wearing are already Vinted but still costs money.

So I guess either buy a lot more clothes or a do lot more washing to reuse them at the rate they are. Both cost money to me rather than the nursery just using using washable paint and keeping messy play clothes on a bit longer.

@Mmr224 I certainly couldn't afford 15-20 sets of nursery clothes per 2 x children plus another 8-10 sets of 'normal' clothes per child.

Surely the majority of people particularly with young children are doing more than 1 washes a week? Why in earth would each child need 20 nursery outfits??

You've said you are washing every day. So you must have some clean and dry later in the week?

I don't think there is much you can do other than move nursery or get over it

I agree with this. The mess my children come home from nursery in is ridiculous - I'm not precious AT ALL about wearing messy clothes into nursery but at some point they are stained well beyond wear. My friend with similar aged children at a different nursery was astounded when she saw how dirty they were and understood why so many clothes had to be binned.

I've taught EYFS and there's a difference in letting children explore different materials and have fun and just letting them get completely filthy with no thought to aprons etc. My child who has finished reception used to come home with odd bits of paint or dinner on their uniform and that's fine. Nursery was a completely different level of stains!

I wouldn't be happy but it's done now and they've given you a solution.
So just send him in as is, and for God's sake leave the little unstained stuff you still own at home for weekends.
I understand your frustration - it's happened with two primary school jumpers. I checked that art is the same day each week and send DS in that day with the crap ruined ones. I'm not replacing because it was on their watch and I still don't believe school uniform is levelling up.