Children on train seats!

[gg45]

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

@WhereTheTeapotsJibberJabberJoo thanks for your help, I'm a bit thick you see

I doubt that very much. That you're thick I mean.

Like a PP, I have stiffness in my limbs and back but I wouldn't give up my seat. I wear a lanyard saying disabled. I guess I'm touchy about the immobilized thing because I often get told I shouldn't be taking up a seat that goes to someone disabled. I just tell them I identify as disabled.

@WhereTheTeapotsJibberJabberJoo I'm sorry I honestly didn't mean to be offensive. Just writing quickly before engaging the old brain

I disagree with you. If there were four of us on a train (DH, me, DS14 and DS11) and only one free seat, I would instantly give it to DS11. A second free seat would always go to DS14. I would be next in line, followed by DH.

@MariaVT65

How can anyone possibly know who is a 'healthy adult?' You can't tell by looking at someone if they're healthy or not. Have you never heard of 'invisible disabilities?' Even so, even a 'healthy adult' is not obliged to move for anyone!

My friend who is in her early 40s, and looks mid 30s, parked in a blue badge zone the other week (she has a blue badge as she has a disability!) and a STORE ASSISTANT from the shop we were going into - who was coming in to work, frowned and said 'those are for disabled people!' Friend said 'errr, I am disabled.' The woman (50-ish) said 'of course you're not. Where's your wheelchair if you're disabled?'

Unbelievable that someone probably born in the early to mid 1970s was so clueless and ignorant that they think someone can't be disabled if you can't SEE a disability. I saw red and said 'how DARE you assume someone is not disabled!' Went with my friend to report her to the manager. Don't give a shit if she had a warning. What she said was disgusting.

Oh, I am not offended, I don't think you were being offensive. It just seems to be a MN thing that it seems that only the most extreme disabilities are allowed seats. I got crucified on here once years ago because I didn't give up my seat for someone who had a chromosome issue. I was already seated and my balance isn't good, I just knew I would fall and probably hurt someone else if I moved for him. He did find a seat but a couple of other passengers threatened to beat the crap out of me because apparently I should have offered. I don't know why they didn't. MN handed my arse on a plate, but looking back in laughing at the pettiness of it. I decided to grow a thicker skin and stop here I am!

Whoa, we have made the red tops!

1. Why the fuck are you having a rant at me for an incident I had nothing to do with? I’m sure no one on this thread disagrees that how that shop assistant acted was poor, but not really relevant to this thread.

2. I’m in no way saying that people don’t have hidden disabilities. What i’m against is people automatically going straight to young children to ask for their seat, instead of asking a non-elderly adult. If a non-elderly adult has a hidden disability, no problem, they just decline and the person who needs a seat asks another adult.

Although the highly entitled attitude that an able bodied adult has the rights to a child's seat (a stranger at that), just because they have been on this earth longer seems to be more prevalent. Obnoxious beyond belief. Why would anyone want to give up their seat to someone so arrogant?

Basically it's trying to assert power over someone more vulnerable. You don't ask other adults, because you know you'd be told to sod off.

Then by those standards so should the disabled and the elderly. Get a grip.

My granny used to get angry when people would ask me to vacate my seat on the bus /train because I’d paid for a ticket too and am disabled so often needed the seat more. If a child has paid for a seat and they’re on the train before the adult then the seat is unquestioningly theirs.

If an elderly person, a pregnant woman or a disabled person gets on then I’d suggest to my kids that they allow the adult to have their seat but not for any entitled adult demanding a seat because of a perceived age hierarchy.

Also the able bodied adults don't need these seats, they just want them. They have no rights to them, they have done nothing to earn them, they just think they deserve a seat, and should be able to take one off a child. It's so spoilt, immature and entitled and I hope kids today learn that these are the type of people that do not deserve their respect.

It does seem unfair that children and their needs are seen as secondary to those of adults. Some children will be less able to stand , some adults will. It absolutely shouldn't be about age, unless perhaps we are talking about toddlers who can sit on their parents laps in many cases anyway.

The people who think children should stand so they can sit are not coming across as nice people. Who do they think they are? I would tell my child not to move if they were asked to stand. Unbelievable.

@WhereTheTeapotsJibberJabberJoo I would always try and accommodate someone who needed a seat by shifting a child onto my knee, but I'd be outraged if someone asked for a child's seat, just because they wanted it. It's completely out of order.

If I've paid and reserved seats for my children and I. You bet damn right they aren't giving their seats up for no one. Get over it OP.

I don't think children should have to give up their seat for adults, depending on the age of the child I would either get them to sit on my lap or give up my seat.

YABU. My DC has a condition that would make it tricky for him to stand for long period or cope with heavy braking. We book seats too I'm advance. I'm going to use them.

Incidentally I went to a busy city with my 7yo last week and lost count of the number of times he was barged into / hit with bags by adults not thinking to look beyond their own head height rushing down streets or through the station. I did my best to mitigate it as well by moving him out of the way (we were holding hands) but couldn't prevent it. I don't see why I should encourage him to be overly considerate to adults when they clearly aren't to him.

I would never accept the offer of a seat from a 6 year old child, and instead would give my seat up for one! 16, yes, but not 6! They’d be wobbling all over the place and wouldn’t be nearly as steady as an adult. I’d actually go as far as saying that 6 years is around the time you need a seat the most. Up to about 3/4 you could sit on the lap of a parent but 5/6/7 you’d be too big and uncomfortable.

I agree. It's rude anyway to ask one specific person. Better to ask the carriage as you don't know who might need one just as much.

I got you OP. I’ve been on a few packed trains lately & the parent has little Lord & Lady Snot sitting comfortably, bags spread out, they know what they’re doing. I’m shocked that so many people stand (no pun intended) for it.

There’s no way that I’d ever give my seat up for a kid, I can’t believe anyone would say such a ridiculous thing. There’s nothing wrong with their legs when they’re jumping up & down on the seats.

Well there is no way I would let my child give up their seat for you. Nobody has said anything about you giving up your seat for a child. First come first served so it's tough for some.

You really have to feel for teachers, Brownie leaders, dance teachers, sporrs coaches and so on whi have to deal with this generation of entitled, disrespectful, cossetted children.I think children 30 or 40 years ago were not sat on their assessment so much, they played out and had the muscle tone, grip strength and balance to be able to cope with standing on a moving train. I coach gymnastics in a fairly rural area- what a difference in physical ability between new starters, who are used to doing jobs around the farm and their town dwelling counterparts! I

Arses no assessments!!

WTF are you talking about?