Children on train seats!

[gg45]

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

Unless you are in your 70s or 80s I'd expect you to stand for a child. Children get tired too and have as much right to a seat. They also don't have as good balance as adults and can hurt themselves easier.

If you think children and young people didn’t sacrifice anything/enough for older people during the pandemic then I don’t know what planet you’re on. That conversation isn’t just for kids though, it’s also young and youngish adults. I still think this is a topic for another thread though.

If you want a seat on public transport, ask another healthy adult.

You’re being unreasonable. Seats are first come, first served.

If I saw someone with limited mobility/elderly/pregnant, I’d offer them my seat and leave my 7 year old sitting.

Random adults can stand as anyone else would when all other seats are occupied.

Surely this is a cultural thing? I wouldn't expect a child to stand for me unless I were pregnant/injured etc. If it's first come first served then a child is as entitled to a seat as any passenger

My daughter (now21) has a scar near her ear from standing on a bus and being hit in the face by someone turning round quickly with their rucksack. Kids faces are at the wrong height for standing on packed public transport. I'd stand before getting them to.

"If you think children and young people didn’t sacrifice anything/enough for older people during the pandemic then I don’t know what planet you’re on. That conversation isn’t just for kids though, it’s also young and youngish adults. I still think this is a topic for another thread though."

If by older you mean elderly, yes. The conversation was about children and adults though. I also think middle aged people sacrificed for the elderly too. While our risk was higher than that of young people, it was much lower than for the over 65s.

I'm old and I've never heard of any rule of etiquette saying that children should stand for just any adult. We did sit on our mother's lap if someone needed a seat and were taught to give up our seat to anyone who evidently needed one.

I took my child out of the pram because the priority seats were not available. Otherwise would have sat by the pram and left him in (which h would have been easier as he was asleep) but I didn't expect anyone to move for us and just took him out!

I have a 10 year old. I pay for her to be on the train. She's not giving up her paid place. It's not my problem if a grown adult didn't plan accordingly and there are no seats left. If you want to sit down, plan better and get a less busy train, even if it means getting an earlier one. My daughter isn't less worthy of her seat than an adult. Maybe you'll have a seat if you follow the "6 Ps" Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

As an aside I have this attitude because my daughter has a heart defect, and in her younger days I learnt a hard lesson about how little care a lot of adults have for children. We ended up on a packed train with all reservations voided due to train cancellations. No adults I explained to and asked would let her have their seat or sit on their table because they'd paid for their place. The only people to offer their seats were an elderly couple with clear mobility issues, it took a lot of persuading to get them to let her sit on the table as they said she deserves to be comfy in a chair.

I've since learnt that when this happens, I just have to show proof of disability/mobility issues and we will get seated in first class for free. But it was a grim lesson to learn. There have been further incidents after this where I've been glared at, told off, and verbally abused by able bodied adults for not making my child give up her (generally reserved) seat and explaining she's disabled. It has absolutely solidified my views that I will never get any child traveling with me to give up a seat to an age group of people that views kids existence with utter disdain. If I see someone who needs a seat more than me, they can have it. But that isn't going to be an able bodied adult. Because I'm one of those so you don't need my seat more than I do.

No, I wouldn't, but I thought this was a thread about train travel?

OK. Disabled people and pensioners get reduced fares on trains just like children do. Are you asking them to move?

It's been a whole 2 minutes since we had one of these! An adult is no more entitled to a seat then a child, HTH.

I would expect an older child to move for an elderly person or someone with a disability, but not for a healthy adult. A normal adult would have the ability to deal with any jolts or people pushing through better than a child. I actually do the opposite and give my seat to a child on a packed train - in my house you were brought up to look after the young and old / additional needs.

No, I was raised to give up my seat to an adult.

I’m just glad that we think differently now.

When I was a child a thousand years ago, children always gave up their seats for adults. Small children were put on adults laps. Larger children stood.

That’s really nasty. Sorry about this. Where I used to live as a young adult there’s a big hill down to the station with Georgian houses with railings. A commuter (once rushing past me with a rucksack on his back, think he pushed me) pushed me so hard into the railings that a chunk was knocked off my top side tooth. He didn’t bother to stop but I had to get it crowned. It hurt too.

Like I said on the other almost exact thread - No, children shouldn't have to give up their seat.

And it's obvious that if you believe children should give up seats on trains, you will probably think the same applies to buses.

@gg45 this has obviously been bothering you for a while (I saw your other post about it). I don't know why you think children are less important than an adult.

Agree!

So unreasonable. My 6yo is small and I'd offer her a seat over myself as she is more likely to get hurt.
I would give up a seat for someone elderly but not just an adult.

I think that people often think that the ONLY reason why some people find it hard to stand on public transport is that they get very tired; and therefore, that as children usually have more physical energy than adults, they should stand. But this is not the only reason. Difficulties with balance can make standing unsafe - either because of co-ordination disabilities as in my case, or because a person's small size makes them less able to reach supports and more vulnerable to collisions, as in the case of many children.

I think that healthy teenagers should stand for elderly, disabled, pregnant, or otherwise more vulnerable adults; but not that children should automatically be expected to stand for adults.

It is different for an elderly person. I would give up my seat for them and would have let my child and elderly person sit. Middle aged or younger adult can stand.

Our standards have improved thanks. All we’re saying is that a healthy adult should stand up, not a young child who is also vulnerable.

Well, maybe I'm old fashioned then.