Page 12 | Children on train seats!

gg45 · 2023-08-23T09:09:30+00:00

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

AvengedQuince · 23/08/2023 12:47

bruffin · 23/08/2023 11:43

no if they fall they bounce , and adult can break bones. Always made mine sit on my lap rather than take up a seat for adults.There is no way i would have let my children sit when adults were standing. My only exception would be on a long train journey when i booked and paid for their reserved seat even when they were under 5 and should be free.
Im 60 now and thankfully tubes are full of polite adults and i get offered a seat all the time. But its really annoying to see little children taking up seats when they could sit on a parents lap or squish up and share a seat if necessary

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I'm talking about myself. I need the seat less than your average small child.

BooksAndHooks · 23/08/2023 12:47

Adults can reach the grab rails above head height and have better balance. It’s far more dangerous and far more likely that a child will fly into you if not seated.

offer seats to those less able to stand, that includes children.

Sallyh87 · 23/08/2023 12:48

I would offer a child a seat! Why should they get up.

Also, if it is an elderly person who needs a seat another adult should offer them ahead of a child.

WeightoftheWorld · 23/08/2023 12:48

marblesthecat · 23/08/2023 10:23

I agree with this. I'm an able-bodied adult and I wouldn't expect a child to get up for me if they were there first.

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I agree with this, but I'd also actually give up my seat for a child of say roughly under 10. I can see I'm likely to be the minority on MN with that view though based on other similar threads.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 23/08/2023 12:49

caringcarer · 23/08/2023 12:39

Lots of people have cheaper tickets if they have purchased a Railcard. There are family rail cards which would reduce the child's seat cheaper than if the parent did not have one, senior railcards for over 60's, a student Railcard and a card for 2 people travelling together. I don't know anyone who gets free travel with the exception of the people who's job is working on the trains. The general principle is adults pay full fares and children don't. For that reason an adult should get a seat above a child. As I said 2 DC could share a seat or 1 dchild sitting on their parents lap.

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So an adult who doesn't have a railcard gets to ask an adult who does have a rail card for their seat? Because they've paid more?
Is it basically whoever pays the most gets the seat?

Comefromaway · 23/08/2023 12:49

I'm the opposite. I would offer my seat for a child.

QuietDragon · 23/08/2023 12:49

My mum used to make me stand for adults. No way am I making my kids move for anyone (unless disabled, pregnant or elderly), first come first served. Surely the entitlement in this situation is coming from an adult that believes they are more deserving of a seat than the person already sitting in it, just because..?

As an adult I often give my seat up for children and anyone else that asks nicely.

Fallingthroughclouds · 23/08/2023 12:49

caringcarer · 23/08/2023 12:39

Lots of people have cheaper tickets if they have purchased a Railcard. There are family rail cards which would reduce the child's seat cheaper than if the parent did not have one, senior railcards for over 60's, a student Railcard and a card for 2 people travelling together. I don't know anyone who gets free travel with the exception of the people who's job is working on the trains. The general principle is adults pay full fares and children don't. For that reason an adult should get a seat above a child. As I said 2 DC could share a seat or 1 dchild sitting on their parents lap.

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Pensioners get free bus passes. Will you be asking them to move?

Loulou599 · 23/08/2023 12:50

I don't really get the issue with kids standing, they've got young legs

Waitingroompurplecup · 23/08/2023 12:51

This is always a matter of perspective though. When I was commuting daily on a train that never had space for all passengers, driving away leaving hard working people who just wanted to get home on the platform, I’d be fuming at the mums with prams taking up space for at least 4 standing passengers. Why travel at rush hour when you’ve got all day to Fanny about with your kid.

Then I had kids and was the one with the double Biggy getting into the train and receiving all the tuts and dirty looks. And I’d think jeez you selfish bastards don’t you know I’ve not slept in days and an hour waiting alone at a train station is my DREAM and what I’d kill to just have my laptop bag and latte and headphones in instead of mummy mummy mummy and a jillion things to drag around to wipe bums and suck and crumbs and spills

Now my dd is mobile but gets travel sick, will puke, fiddle with stuff and just get on everyone’s nerves so I’m just like oh god please someone let her sit down before you get vommed on

And when I’m old I’ll probably be angry at all of the above

BashfulClam · 23/08/2023 12:52

I have never understood why children must ‘show respect’simply because someone has been on earth longer than them? Why?

Comtesse · 23/08/2023 12:55

I give my seat to little kids on the tube - above the age of about 10, they can usually manage and I stay seated. There are limited handles etc for little kids to hold onto so they are more likely to fall than an adult who can reach the handles etc.

femfemlicious · 23/08/2023 12:55

Nope children need seats more than healthy non elderly people. If I'm on the train and someone less able to stand gets on I would either put my child on my lap or I stand up. In London young men and women always stand up for children which is really lovely 😍

BashfulClam · 23/08/2023 12:55

Waitingroompurplecup · 23/08/2023 12:51

This is always a matter of perspective though. When I was commuting daily on a train that never had space for all passengers, driving away leaving hard working people who just wanted to get home on the platform, I’d be fuming at the mums with prams taking up space for at least 4 standing passengers. Why travel at rush hour when you’ve got all day to Fanny about with your kid.

Then I had kids and was the one with the double Biggy getting into the train and receiving all the tuts and dirty looks. And I’d think jeez you selfish bastards don’t you know I’ve not slept in days and an hour waiting alone at a train station is my DREAM and what I’d kill to just have my laptop bag and latte and headphones in instead of mummy mummy mummy and a jillion things to drag around to wipe bums and suck and crumbs and spills

Now my dd is mobile but gets travel sick, will puke, fiddle with stuff and just get on everyone’s nerves so I’m just like oh god please someone let her sit down before you get vommed on

And when I’m old I’ll probably be angry at all of the above

What if that ‘selfish bastard’ had a second job to get to, had kids to pick up from nursery/school/childminder or had an elderly relative to call in on to help care for. Why do you get to make them wait? Why are you more important. Standing in a cold station for an hour isn’t my dream.

roarrfeckingroar · 23/08/2023 12:56

@Waitingroompurplecup ❤️ your post rings true

EhrlicheFrau · 23/08/2023 13:02

YABVVU.

Fallingthroughclouds · 23/08/2023 13:02

Loulou599 · 23/08/2023 12:50

I don't really get the issue with kids standing, they've got young legs

They have nothing to hold on to, if there is an accident they are more likely to get hurt. They are much shorter and more vulnerable. Do you really want a 6year old pressed up against a stranger at chest or abdomen height, just because you think you are entitled to THEIR seat. I've asked you before what makes your so worthy of a strangers respect that you have the right to be so demanding? You seem utterly obnoxious.

cakehoover123 · 23/08/2023 13:03

I agree with the OP. A child can far more easily stand than an adult.

If they have reserved seats, that's different of course!

As a child I was taught to offer a seat on a full bus or a train to an adult.

I wonder if people who think children should take precedence are simply the same people who weren't taught this as children?

Summerrainagain1 · 23/08/2023 13:05

cakehoover123 · 23/08/2023 13:03

I agree with the OP. A child can far more easily stand than an adult.

If they have reserved seats, that's different of course!

As a child I was taught to offer a seat on a full bus or a train to an adult.

I wonder if people who think children should take precedence are simply the same people who weren't taught this as children?

A child can far more easily stand than an adult.

How do you come to that conclusion? My anecdotal experience is I can stand for long periods on a moving train far better than my children

Cas112 · 23/08/2023 13:05

Pensioner i agree but not adults of any other age

Handsnotwands · 23/08/2023 13:06

the kids i see on my train have had a busy, long day out sightseeing. i've been sat at a desk all day - i'd happily let a tired kid sit down. why wouldn't i?

Summerrainagain1 · 23/08/2023 13:06

BashfulClam · 23/08/2023 12:52

I have never understood why children must ‘show respect’simply because someone has been on earth longer than them? Why?

I agree with this too. My children are taught to have manners with everyone they encounter, but there is something about turning 18 that automatically makes you superior. The whole seeing children as inferior beings is pretty outdated. And, to the OP, that is a positie cultural shift in my view.

Summerrainagain1 · 23/08/2023 13:07

Summerrainagain1 · 23/08/2023 13:06

I agree with this too. My children are taught to have manners with everyone they encounter, but there is something about turning 18 that automatically makes you superior. The whole seeing children as inferior beings is pretty outdated. And, to the OP, that is a positie cultural shift in my view.

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*there is not

ASGIRC · 23/08/2023 13:07

gg45 · 23/08/2023 10:36

Clearly if there are safety issues (eg risk of crush) then children should sit. And obviously some are too young. But generally my issue with it is it that it is a simple action that teaches children respect, to think about others comfort before their own and that they are not the centre of the universe. Too much now seems to revolve around kids first that it is little wonder some grow up as "me me" generation. To be honest if I were offered a seat from a child I would thank them and say how thoughtful it is - but then refuse it unless I was ill. But frankly so often I now see really quite old children sitting while retirees are standing and the families are completely oblivious- it is really beginning to grate!

This is very ironic... Because your post is literally "me me me".
You dont have any mroe right to a seat than a child, unless you have mobility issues (of any kind, disability, injury, age related or pregnancy related).
So no, a child should NOT be offering their seat. Because seats are first come, first served, and if you are an able bodied adult (and you say you would refuse a seat, so I assume you are), you are not more entitled to it than anyone else sitting on one.

It is not about the education of children. They SHOULDNT be giving up things just because you are older! Thats ridiculous! Have a word with yourself!

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 23/08/2023 13:08

I think this generation of young people has been asked to shuffle up, sacrifice and ‘be kind’ for older generations quite enough already!

The fact that lousy public transport infrastructure planning has resulted in capacity shortages isn’t yet another inherited problem they should have to suffer for