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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A moral question for you all

482 replies

WhaleSharkBootySweat · 22/08/2023 09:43

Imagine you go into a really nice small business selling either homewares or food. You pick something up that you really like, but it's the end of the month and you can't really afford it. What is the main reason that stops you from stealing it?

A.) Fear of getting caught, punished, criminal record, shame, losing your job
B.) Sympathy for the small business owner, not wanting them to lose money

Or something else.
For me it's massively more B but then I don't steal from chain stores, so I guess A must come into it then?
I just wonder where these moral decisions we make daily come from. Is it fear of repercussions or genuine moral compass? Why do a third of shoppers steal from self checkouts but wouldn't steal from a cashier at the till?
I think about the idea that if there wasn't law and order, then we would all steal and murder, but I genuinely believe that most of us wouldn't? I mean I've never felt compelled to, but why is that? Empathy?

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 22/08/2023 09:44

It's just wrong. End of!

JauntyJinty · 22/08/2023 09:45

From a small business both A and B

From a large corporation just A!

Icedlatteplease · 22/08/2023 09:47

C) it's just wrong, respect for other people and their property

I think your moral compass needs a reset

Smleps · 22/08/2023 09:48

It’s just wrong!

Sparklesocks · 22/08/2023 09:48

I think morally most of the population are just not comfortable with stealing regardless of business size.

Id imagine for those that are desperate for whatever reason and have no other recourse, stealing from larger National chains is more likely than from small, indie businesses.

BadlydoneHelen · 22/08/2023 09:49

I'm also C: It's wrong
I think it's strange that this option didn't occur to you

Frabbits · 22/08/2023 09:49

Morally it makes no difference if you are ripping off Amazon or ma and pa's homeware stores.

People like to argue otherwise, but it's not.

TheInseparables · 22/08/2023 09:49

A mix of A, B and a deontological C- stealing is wrong.

Tinybrother · 22/08/2023 09:49

I just don’t steal. It’s not about being scared of being caught or sympathy for businesses, I just don’t do it.

Anewuser · 22/08/2023 09:49

It’s because we’ve been brought up correctly and know right from wrong.

Witchbitch20 · 22/08/2023 09:49

It’s theft.

That’s enough to stop me.

Rachie1973 · 22/08/2023 09:50

I don’t really think about why. Stealing is wrong. No further thought required.

thebellagio · 22/08/2023 09:50

Its neither. It literally wouldn't even enter my thought process let alone enter my thought process enough to debate the moral conundrum

senua · 22/08/2023 09:50

It's the Golden Rule: do as you would be done by.

Babdoc · 22/08/2023 09:51

I’m a Christian, and it’s the most basic of moral tenets that one does not steal. From anyone, whatever the size of their business.

EBearhug · 22/08/2023 09:52

It's wrong. Especially if it's something you just like.

If it's essential food and you're literally starving, then I would be more understanding, but if you're poor and it's non-essential, you go without. It's rubbish, but that's life.

TibetanTerrah · 22/08/2023 09:52

It just wouldn't occur to me that stealing was an option Confused

If I couldn't afford it, I'd just wait til payday or not have it. Those are the options...

W0tnow · 22/08/2023 09:53

I’m with the ‘it’s just wrong’ crowd.

That said, I’ve accidentally stolen from a supermarket chain twice but not bothered to turn the car around.

GRex · 22/08/2023 09:54

Neither A nor B relate to morals. Morals are about principles of behaviour; option C = it is wrong in principle to steal. A key purpose of morality is reducing social tensions to enable social groups to function; if you grow up in and appreciate society, then the moral belief is sufficient in itself. Re-examine your moral compass.

Ohthatsabitshit · 22/08/2023 09:54

Put it another way, why WOULD you take something that isn’t yours?

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/08/2023 09:54

Change "something you really want" to "the food you need for your baby" and you change the view many would have. Gender, social class and even race would too. Though most will agree stealing from a small business with little profits is worse than a big company who are raking it in and probably overcharging

"Timmy stole a new PS5 because he wanted it" - comments would call him scum, this is what's wrong with young people today, they are greedy, should have gotten a job rather than play video games
"Jenny stole a bottle of milk to feed her baby" - comments would spam the state of this country for making a woman think she had to steal to feed her child.

It's a bit Javert and Valjean territory "I stole a loaf of bread"

BrightLightTonight · 22/08/2023 09:54

It's just wrong to steal

Pencilsaremylife · 22/08/2023 09:54

i’m in the it’s just wrong group, why would you need the fear of being punished inform you as to what is the correct thing to do?
In my experience if people are inclined to steal they will take from anywhere or anyone if given the opportunity.
if people are not inclined to steal they they won’t even if they could undetected.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 22/08/2023 09:54

Most people don't steal because it is wrong to steal. People who do steal tend to make a decision on what is the easiest option (least chance of being caught)

I think a more interesting argument is why are a lot of people happy to purchase stolen goods, even though they wouldn't steal themselves.

Branster · 22/08/2023 09:55

It wouldn't even enter my mind to steal anything, ever. And if I was short of money, I would only enter the store to buy a specific item I already budgeted for, not wonder around looking at stuff I couldn't afford.