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AIBU?

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Original poster

A moral question for you all

482 replies

WhaleSharkBootySweat · 22/08/2023 09:43

Imagine you go into a really nice small business selling either homewares or food. You pick something up that you really like, but it's the end of the month and you can't really afford it. What is the main reason that stops you from stealing it?

A.) Fear of getting caught, punished, criminal record, shame, losing your job
B.) Sympathy for the small business owner, not wanting them to lose money

Or something else.
For me it's massively more B but then I don't steal from chain stores, so I guess A must come into it then?
I just wonder where these moral decisions we make daily come from. Is it fear of repercussions or genuine moral compass? Why do a third of shoppers steal from self checkouts but wouldn't steal from a cashier at the till?
I think about the idea that if there wasn't law and order, then we would all steal and murder, but I genuinely believe that most of us wouldn't? I mean I've never felt compelled to, but why is that? Empathy?

OP posts:
troubleanstrife · 22/08/2023 10:08

troubleanstrife · 22/08/2023 10:04

Interesting question OP.
I think it’s healthy to interrogate right and wrong sometimes and question our own morality. After all homosexuality was “just wrong” until a few decades ago (and is still considered such in some quarters”.) Morality is not the same for everyone and in all circumstances.

For me it’s both A and B, but A is stronger in the little independent craft store, B is stronger in a supermarket. The ‘A factor’ in a supermarket would be concern for the individual checkout guy or security person who might be sanctioned because the tills don’t add up.

Oops I switched A and B!

red78hot · 22/08/2023 10:08

Small business/ large chain , what does it matter, its still stealing.
What a stupid question.

Staggersaurus · 22/08/2023 10:08

What is the main reason that stops you from stealing it

It doesn’t belong to me. It’s no more complicated than that.

Bumpitybumper · 22/08/2023 10:09

I would never steal irrespective of who the victim is, the value of the goods or whether I would get caught or not. I just feel instinctively that it's wrong and selfishly, my guilt would blight any enjoyment I would actually get from managing to acquire the thing I had stolen anyway.

Fannyfiggs · 22/08/2023 10:10

TibetanTerrah · 22/08/2023 09:52

It just wouldn't occur to me that stealing was an option Confused

If I couldn't afford it, I'd just wait til payday or not have it. Those are the options...

What TibetanTerrah said.

Wakintoblueskies · 22/08/2023 10:10

C. It’s just wrong.

WalkingThroughTreacle · 22/08/2023 10:10

I'm not a thief, end of. The chances/consequences of being caught and the ability of the potential victim to bear the loss are irrelevant to me. Whatever happened to the much simpler notion of knowing right from wrong and acting accordingly?

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 22/08/2023 10:10

Icedlatteplease · 22/08/2023 09:47

C) it's just wrong, respect for other people and their property

I think your moral compass needs a reset

This!

The only stealing I could condone from a moral perspective would be things like an impoverished person stealing food to eat, or medicine for their children. In those cases, it's not the person stealing who is at fault - it's the society we live in.

If it's something that you just 'want' - it's always wrong.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 22/08/2023 10:11

Thing is there tends to be this idea that people steal a loaf of bread to feed a starving child. Ime this is just not true. I work in a large supermarket, the people that steal and the things they steal are not to feed their families, its things that they can sell on. Hence my question why are so many more people happy to buy stolen goods but not actually steal them?

Frabbits · 22/08/2023 10:12

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/08/2023 10:07

There are many who would argue differently though

Show quote history

They'd be wrong.

It's not ok to nick something just because of this perception that because Amazon (et al) are big enough to take the loss. It's still stealing.

And it doesn't make sense regardless. How many so-called "too big to fail" retailers have gone bust over the last 10 years, taking with them people's jobs, pensions etc? People relied on jobs from BHS, Littlewoods, Debenhams, Woolworths and countless other "big" chains that have disappeared. It's not the people at the top who suffer, it's the people on min wage trying to get by, just like small business owners are.

ItLooksLikeChickenSoItMustBeChicken · 22/08/2023 10:12

It's just wrong. Whenever I've wanted something that I couldn't afford, I've managed without until I'd got the money. If it was food or some essentials like that, I'd paid with a credit card/overdraft, then had to pay that off.

anotherside · 22/08/2023 10:12

“Stealing is wrong, full stop”.

Then why is Robin Hood viewed so favourably? If the goods/wealth in question were themselves obtained or produced in an immoral/violent fashion, does stealing them become less wrong?

Stayawa · 22/08/2023 10:12

As PP has said, from a large corporation - A, from a small business A and B, but if I’m being completely honest with myself - even with a small business A would come into it slightly more than B 😞 . Unless it was a charity shop, then it would def be B

Alighttouchonthetiller · 22/08/2023 10:12

It's morally wrong to steal things, and that's that.

God, MN is weird.

Blankspace35 · 22/08/2023 10:13

I just wouldnt steal because its wrong. If i wanted it that badly id go back after pay day and buy it

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/08/2023 10:13

For me it’s almost entirely A. I don’t believe theft is “immoral” because morals are ultimately just man-made and nor, actually, do humans broadly: the entire history of human kind is basically a big exercise in some people putting fences around or their name on some things and then making up a code of conduct and laws around it all now being theirs. But societies would disintegrate if everybody stole, hence the need for laws and punishments.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 22/08/2023 10:13

BrightLightTonight · 22/08/2023 09:58

And to the PP who implied that it's OK to steal food for your baby - no it's still not OK.
If everyone took what they wanted without paying - then the poor shopkeeper would also not have any money.

Again you are using want over need

The argument for it being OK to steal is when that is a NEED rather than a want

Most people are going to pay for what they want and, indeed, what they need.

And the bankruptcy argument is where it comes in about whether its more moral to steal from a big store or a small

cushioncovers · 22/08/2023 10:14

I wouldn't want it done to me so I wouldn't do it to someone else.

LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 22/08/2023 10:15

I wouldn't steal because it would make me feel lower than a snakes belly. So not really A or B though they would occur to me too.

LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 22/08/2023 10:16

If my baby needed food I would ask someone to help rather than steal. It would be embarrassing but that's just what I would have to do.

Hesma · 22/08/2023 10:18

It wouldn’t even occur to me to steal it. If d either pop in on my credit card until
payday or go back once paid

Flossflower · 22/08/2023 10:18

C It is wrong.
I also don’t wander around shops unless I want to buy anything.

MyKittyFish · 22/08/2023 10:18

C, an innate sense that I know it’s wrong and illegal.

Motomum23 · 22/08/2023 10:19

Gosh what a weird question. I don't steal because it's wrong to steal. It doesn't belong to me. I don't question why - I don't care if its a small business or a multinational corporation who can afford the loss I just don't do it.
The only exception I suppose would be food if I was on the brink of starvation or needed to feed my kids - then I could probably steal from a large company.

Pencilsaremylife · 22/08/2023 10:20

And no I wouldn’t buy stolen goods either or swizz the self pay machines or take a carrier bag and not put that through. Many years ago in a sleep deprived state I walked out of a supermarket with a pack of nappies tucked into the buggy hood having paid for the rest of my shopping, I went back to the supermarket to pay. Some years ago one of my kids took something from a shop that they wanted, when I found out I took them back to the small shop made them apologise, paid for it myself ( as they had opened the packet) confiscated the item and told my child they could have it for their birthday in about 4 months time.