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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lying to your children about about the time to get them in bed by 6pm (more 'me' time)

80 replies

MJRIP2009 · 19/08/2023 15:18

My friend who I've know since school frequently lies to her two 6 year olds about the time to get them in bed by 6pm so she gets some 'me' time.

She tells them it's midnight when it's actually 6pm and they believe it.

My DD is 13 months and she doesn't even go to bed this early.

I think it's wrong and tbh quite cruel.

AIBU?

OP posts:
cinnamonfrenchtoast · 19/08/2023 15:19

I really don't see the problem. It's certainly not cruel. 6pm is quite early though.

Purditnin · 19/08/2023 15:22

Why is it cruel?

yogasaurus · 19/08/2023 15:23

How old are they? Bedtimes, on the whole are a good thing, IMO

hdbs17 · 19/08/2023 15:24

I don't think it's cruel. Children need sleep, it's good for them. Parents need down time, it's good for them.

I'm just jealous because mine has been able to tell the time on a Roman numeral clock since age 5.

Zanatdy · 19/08/2023 15:25

No it’s fine. Assume they are young, she won’t get away with it forever

GymBergerac · 19/08/2023 15:25

Well I wouldn't have done it on a regular basis, but I did recently confess to my three DC that MANY years ago when I was knackered and they were driving me bonkers, I changed the clocks and told them it was 8pm and therefore time for bed. It was actually just before 6pm.....😂
They dutifully went to bed, DH and I also had a (much needed) early night and everything was fine. The world didn't end, they weren't affected by it and laughed their heads off when I told them.
A bit cheeky to do it very often, but to be honest if the kids are actually going to sleep (and not subsequently waking up at 2am!) it's clearly not harmful!

Dotcheck · 19/08/2023 15:26

I think it’s ridiculous too. At that age they are learning to tell time so I’m not sure what she has to gain.
Surely they’ll be up extra early?

OwlBasket · 19/08/2023 15:26

I sometimes used to put the clocks forward and put the DC to bed early by and hour or an hour and a half. Obvious it meant they got up earlier the next morning though.

I was really struggling and it was a lifesaver at times.

soundsys · 19/08/2023 15:27

I think lying to them about the time is weird and will confuse them, but occasionally getting them into bed early isn't a bad thing. Sometimes mine are knackered and voluntarily go to their rooms to read at 6pm and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't bliss! (I love their company but sometimes I just need that downtime!)

MargaretThursday · 19/08/2023 15:27

If they go to bed at 6pm, then they probably wake early, and that isn't an exchange I personally would choose.

When I looked after my cousins overnight a couple of times, when they were about 6 and 8yo they got a thing about wanting to stay up till midnight. They'd be desperately keeping themselves awake and asking "is it midnight yet?" I'd often swing the clock round to midnight at about 9:30pm and tell them it was and they would immediately lie down and go to sleep. They were happy, I was happy, and they got enough sleep so it was all good. I might tell them now they're in their 30s. Grin

If they weren't tired at 6pm, then they wouldn't go to sleep anyway.
My dc all had different sleep patterns. Dd1 was 8:00pm-8am from 6 weeks old. You could put her down later, but not earlier. DD2 was a late one. Anything before 9pm and she'd be up at something silly like 4am. Ds was the opposite. I was desperately trying not to let him go to sleep before 7pm to stop him waking ridiculously early. He'd have happily gone down at 5:30pm. He's 16yo now and he doesn't go to bed at 7pm, but he still wakes like clockwork at 7am.

yogasaurus · 19/08/2023 15:28

They wouldn’t be up until midnight anyway?

Cowlover89 · 19/08/2023 15:29

That's totally fine.

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 19/08/2023 15:29

I wouldn't, but mostly because I wouldn't want DS up at 4. He already gets up before 6 with a 7.30 bedtime!

TheaBrandt · 19/08/2023 15:29

Aren’t they up at 4am?

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/08/2023 15:31

Well give it another few months as they will know she is lying (unless fiddled the clock) as will be able to tell the basic time

Why doesn't she just tell them it's bedtime instead of lying

Nothing wrong with early bedtime

Mini blondes 6yr goes to bed 630. Never past 7 esp on school night or even now in holidays she goes to bed same time as she is tired

She sleeps till 7.15/730 usually

Have friends who met kids stay up to 8/9pm in summer hols at 6yr. They are tired and grumpy and will need retraining in sept

Soubriquet · 19/08/2023 15:31

Cruel? No

Weird.. a little.

I know someone who has two children who are usually in bed by 5.30pm. One is 4 and the other is 9.

However, they are also up stupidly early. Like 4-5am.

She just lets them get on with it

TheShellBeach · 19/08/2023 15:32

I put my children to bed at 6 pm anyway.
I don't understand why you'd have to pretend it's a different time?
Just put them to bed when you decide.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/08/2023 15:33

TheShellBeach · 19/08/2023 15:32

I put my children to bed at 6 pm anyway.
I don't understand why you'd have to pretend it's a different time?
Just put them to bed when you decide.

This

Wishitsnows · 19/08/2023 15:35

That is ridiculously early! They must be having dinner when most would be having afternoon tea.

InsomniacsWife · 19/08/2023 15:36

6pm is really early.

Original poster
MJRIP2009 · 19/08/2023 15:36

Yes they wake early. But they fend for themselves

OP posts:
teenysaladandsniffofarose · 19/08/2023 15:40

Definitely not cruel!

Although I'd be scared to put my son to bed earlier than 7 incase he's up at 5am😂

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 19/08/2023 15:41

MJRIP2009 · 19/08/2023 15:36

Yes they wake early. But they fend for themselves

I don't see the problem with that either tbh.

It's normal for kids of that age to get up and play in their rooms, watch TV and have a snack in the mornings while their parents doze/lie-in for a bit.

Runningover · 19/08/2023 15:41

My dd used to go to bed at 6 because she was just so tired by then. She would be up at 7. You've got a baby, it's not the same.
There are worse things than 6 year olds being told it's midnight. Couldn't get worked up about this at all.

Owjrbvr · 19/08/2023 15:48

I don’t really see that as an issue but I’m surprised that they go to sleep so early