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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lying to your children about about the time to get them in bed by 6pm (more 'me' time)

80 replies

MJRIP2009 · 19/08/2023 15:18

My friend who I've know since school frequently lies to her two 6 year olds about the time to get them in bed by 6pm so she gets some 'me' time.

She tells them it's midnight when it's actually 6pm and they believe it.

My DD is 13 months and she doesn't even go to bed this early.

I think it's wrong and tbh quite cruel.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Anonymouseposter · 19/08/2023 19:53

I wouldn’t put them to bed quite so early as I wouldn’t want them to wake me up at 5a.m.

Beginningless · 19/08/2023 19:58

Angstyaug · 19/08/2023 18:58

Ha! We used to turn the clocks every New Year when they were younger so they could celebrate NY with the grown ups but not be impossibly tired on NY's day when us adults needed an easier time. They were happy. We were happy. We all survived.

Look, parenting is relentless. Get off your high horse.

I agree. There are many examples of cruelty to children, I don’t think this is one. Being a parent is hard. I think when you don’t have two six yr olds, you don’t know what she goes through.

jgjgjgjgjg · 19/08/2023 20:00

6 years old is just about to start Yr 2 I think? I'm slightly horrified that the children can't tell the time by now?

BeakerCupSaucerEggs · 19/08/2023 20:02

Isn’t it the same as saying they’ve got 100 minutes left at the playground but it’s actually just 10? All fine by me

Redwinestillfine · 19/08/2023 20:04

I don't lie to my kids, and they don't go to bed at 6.30 but I do tell them that after half 8 is my ' me' time and they need to be upstairs by then.

Jk987 · 19/08/2023 20:05

I can't believe they're ready to sleep at 6! They must need dinner at 4!

Whatever work. My 2 yr old usually does 9pm - 8am and I'm grateful for that because I hate early mornings!

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/08/2023 20:45

jgjgjgjgjg · 19/08/2023 20:00

6 years old is just about to start Yr 2 I think? I'm slightly horrified that the children can't tell the time by now?

Yep

As I said in my first reply only be a few months then unless mum changes clocks they can tell the town

Mini blondes 6 has been able to do o click and half past for the past 6mths or sos

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/08/2023 20:45

*time

NewName122 · 19/08/2023 20:52

Not cruel at all. I'm sure she knows when they're tired.

TropicalTrama · 19/08/2023 20:54

Angstyaug · 19/08/2023 18:58

Ha! We used to turn the clocks every New Year when they were younger so they could celebrate NY with the grown ups but not be impossibly tired on NY's day when us adults needed an easier time. They were happy. We were happy. We all survived.

Look, parenting is relentless. Get off your high horse.

Ha love this but the to get away with it surely you would have done it at something like 10pm when it was properly dark and they knew it was later than their usual bedtime? In OP’s example it’s 6pm and the children are 6 so assuming they only got home from school about 2 hours ago, they’ve probably just finished dinner and it’s definitely still light out except in peak winter.

It makes no sense that they’d fall for that and it’s really weird.

NerdyBird · 19/08/2023 21:45

Pretty sure OP means it's the lying and probably confusing the kids that's cruel rather than the early bedtime.
In yr 2 they learn the time so it may not last long.
DD would never have been fooled by that so not an option here. She wouldn't have actually gone to sleep then either.

Peony654 · 19/08/2023 21:46

Definitely not cruel. If it works for her, why not.

RedRobyn2021 · 19/08/2023 21:48

You shouldn't lie to your children period IMO

CallistaFlockfart · 19/08/2023 22:42

My friend used to change the time on the clocks in her house to get her DC off to bed early.

Abouttimemum · 19/08/2023 22:46

I wouldn’t get away with it with DS4 because he knows what time it is, would be awake by 5am and we’d have to get up with him. So entirely counter productive and I’d rather stick with a 7.30pm bedtime and reasonable wake up time!

I’m not against it if it works for them though. No harm in extra sleep. Those couple of hours child free in the eve are glorious.

AvengedQuince · 19/08/2023 22:49

She'll get exactly the same amount of time, their sleep needs minus hers. Hope she likes getting up early!

Orangemoon8 · 19/08/2023 22:58

JudesBiggestFan · 19/08/2023 19:08

People are seriously weird about bedtimes in this country. Mine have always gone no earlier than 8.30. Up at 7.30...that seems to me a reasonable amount of sleep and a far more civilised way of life! Half the bedtime battles talked about on here wouldn't happen if people were just more realistic about bedtimes.

Yep then they all complain when their kids wake at 5am 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/08/2023 23:31

RedRobyn2021 · 19/08/2023 21:48

You shouldn't lie to your children period IMO

People say this then my friend pointed out we lie about

Fc
Tooth fairy
Easter bunny

HateTheView · 19/08/2023 23:33

This answers a lot of questions!!

I remember my DD, then in year 1 or 2, (who was at the time very truthful) telling me her friend went to bed at midnight every night. I said well he might have said that but it seems unlikely and he might not be telling the truth. So she went up to his mum in the playground and asked her. I would have been embarrassed by her doing this but it was witnessed by her childminder who thought it was very amusing, and the mum confirmed he did go to bed at midnight.

Now I realise that's what she told him! 🤣

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/08/2023 23:34

@JudesBiggestFan not weird. Just my dd loves her sleep and gets emotional and grumpy if doesn't get enough sleep which is still ideally 12/13hrs a night and she's 6.5

TheOriginalEmu · 19/08/2023 23:42

My youngest was in bed by 6 most nights at that age, because she also likes to get up at 4.30 (and yes I tried later bed times, she just still got up then and was a misery all day). My oldest has always been a night owl but would sleep in so it was fine. If they’re going to sleep at 6 then I dont see the issue.

TheOriginalEmu · 19/08/2023 23:43

Orangemoon8 · 19/08/2023 22:58

Yep then they all complain when their kids wake at 5am 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Show quote history

in my case the bedtime followed the super early wake ups. She is 16 now and still is up by 6 most days. Even in the holidays. Just how she is built.

MissMillyFluff · 19/08/2023 23:44

My two girls used to be in bed at 6pm ( probably aged 4 and 6) they were allowed to read for half an hour and were proud to be independent enough to put their own light off. We done enough activities up till then to wear them out. Yes they were up early, but it meant the evening was mine. If it works for you telling them it's midnight, who is anyone else to judge...as long as they're happy and it's not detrimental to them.

gogomoto · 19/08/2023 23:47

Surely 6 year olds can tell the time and have watches! Mine certainly did. They both had watches for their 4th birthdays

Runningover · 20/08/2023 07:35

gogomoto · 19/08/2023 23:47

Surely 6 year olds can tell the time and have watches! Mine certainly did. They both had watches for their 4th birthdays

Many teenagers can't tell the time off a clock nowadays!

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