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Original poster

Poorly child and sulking DH

83 replies

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 18:18

Youngest dc(2) was off nursery yesterday as he was sent home with a temperature late Wednesday night. Was better yesterday but not right. I was away with work so dh was at home with him and eldest dc(8)

I was back today, youngest went to nursery this morning (no temp, bit grumpy) 2 hours later they called to say he wouldn't eat his breakfast or snack, didn't want to play and was inconsolable, it wasn't asked but suggested he wasn't well enough to be there so I went and picked him up (they did suggest getting him checked out by a doctor but I think it's just a cold)

Dh has flipped saying I am wrong for picking him up, that he has played me, and that he knows if he acts ill he'll get sent home now (should point put he's 2 and 2 months) I said i thought Dh was wrong saying that and I was upset that he would have left an upset child there. I didn't ask dh to do anything as he had planned to take eldest out for the day so I could juggle calls and things and look after dc

Dc does seem OK, was tired and cuddly this morning (sat next to me watching Thomas the Tank engine on his tablet while I worked) but has been more active this afternoon

Was I in the wrong to pick him up? Nursery are used to dealing with upset children but they said he was very not like himself

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 18/08/2023 18:20

He’s a small child who’s not feeling well. Being at home is the best place for him.

Your dh is an asshole

Olika · 18/08/2023 18:22

Of course you were not wrong. I doubt a young toddler that age knows how to pretend to be ill. My husband says some really random things about our toddler that I know are not true and I am not having any of that from him.

TomatoSandwiches · 18/08/2023 18:23

YANBU he is 2, 2 years old, they aren't capable being so manipulative in the sense your husband is accusing him of and it's rather worrying he believes that anyway.

Herejusttocomment · 18/08/2023 18:27

So sick of these men thinking all children try to do is feign illness to play their mothers! 🙄 (I've had this from DP too)

If your DH flipped when nursery called, how would he act if you decide on the day your DC is too unwell to go? He sounds like an unempathetic prick, sorry.

pictoosh · 18/08/2023 18:33

Ach yer dh is a knob. Thinks a two year old is manipulating a skive. What an idiot.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 18/08/2023 18:58

I hope this is a joke as it’s absolutely ridiculous.

If not, you need to end the relationship asap.

Saying that a 2 year old is being manipulative and playing you for a fool, is extremely worrying.

He didn’t like it because you gave your son more attention than him.

Has there been any other examples of him being jealous of the kids?
Are they both boys?

Original poster
Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 18:58

Also to add, he has been sulking all afternoon. After Dc's nap I sat him in front of the TV to eat, he had a crumpet which he was eating quite slowly so dh kept turning the tv off whixh resulted on dc crying a lot. We were in no rush, dc wasn't that interested in good so I said to just leave him to it and if he was hungry he would eat eventually. Dh got in a strop and took the food away and binned it.

I didn't put the tv back on, dc eventually finished the snack I got him and then spent the afternoon playing with older dc.

He's now sulking because I didn't do exactly what he said and has gone off sulking to the spare room

OP posts:
Itsnotrightbutitsok · 18/08/2023 18:59

Herejusttocomment · 18/08/2023 18:27

So sick of these men thinking all children try to do is feign illness to play their mothers! 🙄 (I've had this from DP too)

If your DH flipped when nursery called, how would he act if you decide on the day your DC is too unwell to go? He sounds like an unempathetic prick, sorry.

I hope he’s your ex now too.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 18/08/2023 19:03

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 18:58

Also to add, he has been sulking all afternoon. After Dc's nap I sat him in front of the TV to eat, he had a crumpet which he was eating quite slowly so dh kept turning the tv off whixh resulted on dc crying a lot. We were in no rush, dc wasn't that interested in good so I said to just leave him to it and if he was hungry he would eat eventually. Dh got in a strop and took the food away and binned it.

I didn't put the tv back on, dc eventually finished the snack I got him and then spent the afternoon playing with older dc.

He's now sulking because I didn't do exactly what he said and has gone off sulking to the spare room

Sorry OP but this is not normal and completely unacceptable behaviour.

Can you imagine yourself ever acting like this?
I doubt you ever would because this behaviour is not normal.

Your 2 year old sounds more mature than him.

This all stems from your 2 y/o being poorly!
Can you really forgive his behaviour?
Whats going to happen next time he’s poorly, is he going to sulk every single time?!

HowToSaveAWife · 18/08/2023 19:04

Your H is a Grade A C_nt. He thinks a 2 year old knows how to manipulate, bullies him and throws away food because a sick toddler isn't eating fast enough and then goes off in a sulk because you didn't do as you were told?!

Christ alive OP just leave him, seriously. He's going to damage your kids carrying on like that, whingey sulking bastard.

BeansOnToast32 · 18/08/2023 19:13

Jesus your DH is awful! I don't even have kids but I know that a 2 year old can't possibly manipulate you into getting a day off by pretending to be poorly. He wont even understand illness = day off at home with mum.

Then making a baby cry because he's not eating his food quick enough when he's feeling poorly.

He's disgusting and I would find this treatment/bullying of a poorly child worrying and deeply unattractive.

Dolores87 · 18/08/2023 19:13

Your DH is in the wrong and tbh really needs to bother to learn about child development because his attitude is harmful parenting.

mathanxiety · 18/08/2023 19:15

DH is a jealous and immature man.

mathanxiety · 18/08/2023 19:18

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 18:58

Also to add, he has been sulking all afternoon. After Dc's nap I sat him in front of the TV to eat, he had a crumpet which he was eating quite slowly so dh kept turning the tv off whixh resulted on dc crying a lot. We were in no rush, dc wasn't that interested in good so I said to just leave him to it and if he was hungry he would eat eventually. Dh got in a strop and took the food away and binned it.

I didn't put the tv back on, dc eventually finished the snack I got him and then spent the afternoon playing with older dc.

He's now sulking because I didn't do exactly what he said and has gone off sulking to the spare room

This is a huge red flag.

He is an emotionally abusive twat.

Rumplestrumpet · 18/08/2023 19:21

Playing you?!?! Your DH needs to learn about child development. You DC was sick and needed to be home.

Merryoldgoat · 18/08/2023 19:25

Honestly, I read these threads and it makes me so grateful for my DH.

Because yours is a total prick.

A 2 year old is developmentally unable to be manipulative.

What a douche.

Merryoldgoat · 18/08/2023 19:28

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 18:58

Also to add, he has been sulking all afternoon. After Dc's nap I sat him in front of the TV to eat, he had a crumpet which he was eating quite slowly so dh kept turning the tv off whixh resulted on dc crying a lot. We were in no rush, dc wasn't that interested in good so I said to just leave him to it and if he was hungry he would eat eventually. Dh got in a strop and took the food away and binned it.

I didn't put the tv back on, dc eventually finished the snack I got him and then spent the afternoon playing with older dc.

He's now sulking because I didn't do exactly what he said and has gone off sulking to the spare room

This is exceptionally worrying. He sounds like he’s abusive and I’d never let anyone treat a child like that.

Original poster
Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:28

This isn't the first time he has sulked/screamed/shouted. Last week because I gave dc the tablet about half an hour before bedtime (like we do every night, but because I didn't 'consult' dh he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed screamed at me again

He has form for this if he doesn't get his own way

OP posts:
Herejusttocomment · 18/08/2023 19:30

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:28

This isn't the first time he has sulked/screamed/shouted. Last week because I gave dc the tablet about half an hour before bedtime (like we do every night, but because I didn't 'consult' dh he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed screamed at me again

He has form for this if he doesn't get his own way

Yikes, that sounds abusive...

NoSquirrels · 18/08/2023 19:32

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:28

This isn't the first time he has sulked/screamed/shouted. Last week because I gave dc the tablet about half an hour before bedtime (like we do every night, but because I didn't 'consult' dh he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed screamed at me again

He has form for this if he doesn't get his own way

Fucking hell. Has he been like this the whole time you’ve been together? You’ve got an 8-year-old, this presumably isn’t a new disagreement on parenting issues?

Anyone who screamed in my face about anything I would be getting away from.

Winnipeggy · 18/08/2023 19:33

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:28

This isn't the first time he has sulked/screamed/shouted. Last week because I gave dc the tablet about half an hour before bedtime (like we do every night, but because I didn't 'consult' dh he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed screamed at me again

He has form for this if he doesn't get his own way

OP, I'm sorry but this is HIGHLY abusive, controlling behaviour and will not get better. Rally your supporters and start considering your future without him. Log all the times he behaves like this. You know you and your children deserve better x

Optionyougot · 18/08/2023 19:36

This isn't normal, or anywhere near ok.

Honestly I think you and the DC need to get away from him

HowToSaveAWife · 18/08/2023 19:36

You're in an abusive situation. Please make plans to leave him or turf him out.

Soubriquet · 18/08/2023 19:38

He gets worse with every post.

I wouldn’t stay with him if he acts like this on a regular basis

GoodChat · 18/08/2023 19:39

Have you told him he's an absolute cunt?

Why didn't he still take the eldest out?