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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Poorly child and sulking DH

83 replies

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 18:18

Youngest dc(2) was off nursery yesterday as he was sent home with a temperature late Wednesday night. Was better yesterday but not right. I was away with work so dh was at home with him and eldest dc(8)

I was back today, youngest went to nursery this morning (no temp, bit grumpy) 2 hours later they called to say he wouldn't eat his breakfast or snack, didn't want to play and was inconsolable, it wasn't asked but suggested he wasn't well enough to be there so I went and picked him up (they did suggest getting him checked out by a doctor but I think it's just a cold)

Dh has flipped saying I am wrong for picking him up, that he has played me, and that he knows if he acts ill he'll get sent home now (should point put he's 2 and 2 months) I said i thought Dh was wrong saying that and I was upset that he would have left an upset child there. I didn't ask dh to do anything as he had planned to take eldest out for the day so I could juggle calls and things and look after dc

Dc does seem OK, was tired and cuddly this morning (sat next to me watching Thomas the Tank engine on his tablet while I worked) but has been more active this afternoon

Was I in the wrong to pick him up? Nursery are used to dealing with upset children but they said he was very not like himself

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 18/08/2023 19:39

You need to leave him now.

towriteyoumustlive · 18/08/2023 19:42

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:28

This isn't the first time he has sulked/screamed/shouted. Last week because I gave dc the tablet about half an hour before bedtime (like we do every night, but because I didn't 'consult' dh he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed screamed at me again

He has form for this if he doesn't get his own way

If my DH screamed at me he wouldn't be my DH any more.

There is no way I would tolerate that sort of behaviour in a relationship!

Oysterbabe · 18/08/2023 19:46

I'm sorry you married such a cunt. I hope you are able to leave soon.

Original poster
Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:46

@GoodChat he did still take the eldest out. I insisted he did as they were meant to go yesterday but as the youngest was off they couldn't and I was travelling so he had to stay at home with both

I didn't want the eldest to miss out today so said I would go and pick up the youngest so they coukd still go out. I was in a wfh day and had no calls so could manage fine.

OP posts:
HaddawayAndShite · 18/08/2023 19:51

he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed
Horrified at this? Screaming in your face with the children around? Abusive not only to you but the children. The saddest thing is, if your children are seeing this regularly which it sounds like it is, then this is how they will start treating you and then their future partners, friends etc. They will model your relationship for all their future relationships. Please think about that, you may be fine subjecting yourself to this abhorrent man, but your kids shouldn’t be.

YouJustDoYou · 18/08/2023 19:54

Fuck him. Stupid, spoiled, selfish husband. AGAIN. As in.....women have to put up with this time and time and time again.

YouJustDoYou · 18/08/2023 19:55

Dump the fucking abusive arsehole.

Winnipeggy · 18/08/2023 19:56

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:46

@GoodChat he did still take the eldest out. I insisted he did as they were meant to go yesterday but as the youngest was off they couldn't and I was travelling so he had to stay at home with both

I didn't want the eldest to miss out today so said I would go and pick up the youngest so they coukd still go out. I was in a wfh day and had no calls so could manage fine.

OP this isn't the most pressing issue. You are in an abusive relationship, do you have people who can support you?

Dolores87 · 18/08/2023 20:08

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:28

This isn't the first time he has sulked/screamed/shouted. Last week because I gave dc the tablet about half an hour before bedtime (like we do every night, but because I didn't 'consult' dh he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed screamed at me again

He has form for this if he doesn't get his own way

You are in an abusive relationship and this will continue and your children will experience abuse if you stay as he is already behaving abusively to them.

Hibiscrubbed · 18/08/2023 20:16

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 18:58

Also to add, he has been sulking all afternoon. After Dc's nap I sat him in front of the TV to eat, he had a crumpet which he was eating quite slowly so dh kept turning the tv off whixh resulted on dc crying a lot. We were in no rush, dc wasn't that interested in good so I said to just leave him to it and if he was hungry he would eat eventually. Dh got in a strop and took the food away and binned it.

I didn't put the tv back on, dc eventually finished the snack I got him and then spent the afternoon playing with older dc.

He's now sulking because I didn't do exactly what he said and has gone off sulking to the spare room

Also to add, he has been sulking all afternoon. After Dc's nap I sat him in front of the TV to eat, he had a crumpet which he was eating quite slowly so dh kept turning the tv off whixh resulted on dc crying a lot. We were in no rush, dc wasn't that interested in good so I said to just leave him to it and if he was hungry he would eat eventually. Dh got in a strop and took the food away and binned it.

Your husband is a nasty cunt to a two year old. What an inadequate prick he is.

Hibiscrubbed · 18/08/2023 20:17

Oh just saw the updates. He’s not not just an inadequate, nasty cunt, he’s abusive too.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 18/08/2023 20:34

Why are you with him OP?

Seriously, this is not ok.

He is a bully to you and now he’s starting on the kids.
They deserve better than this.

PonyPatter44 · 18/08/2023 21:13

There is no justification for his behaviour, to you or to the children. None AT ALL.

SweetStrawberrie · 18/08/2023 21:38

OP you have got to put your kids first here.

I don't usually jump straight to 'LTB' but seriously.

Poor 2 year old - nursery isn't even compulsory, it's not like school.

honestly, there have been days my kid just hasn't felt like going and if me and DH have been off/working flexibly that day she's stayed at home.

Very concerning over the top reaction.

Xrays · 18/08/2023 21:41

Why on earth are you subjecting yourself and your children to this?

Marwoodsbigbreak · 18/08/2023 21:46

He screams in your face?

LTB 💐

Autieangel · 18/08/2023 21:53

So he thinks your 2 yea old duped several child care professionals That's one clever 2 year old!

I wouldn't be shouted at

Iateallthechocolate · 18/08/2023 22:01

Screamed in your face. Thinks a 2 year old is manipulating you. Sulking. Terrible behaviour. Time to get your ducks in a row.

Original poster
Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 22:05

So just tried to talk to dh and been told that he can't forgive me at the moment for making him miss out on spending time with the children

Because of my interfering when he was trying to get dc to eat he felt he had to sit away. And its my fault that when the kids were playing in the garden I didn't go and sit in the office space we have so he could then sit with the kids

And the it's my fault he had to go and sit upstairs this evening because he didn't want to be around me.

So all my fault obviously!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 18/08/2023 22:08

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 19:28

This isn't the first time he has sulked/screamed/shouted. Last week because I gave dc the tablet about half an hour before bedtime (like we do every night, but because I didn't 'consult' dh he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed screamed at me again

He has form for this if he doesn't get his own way

How are you going to protect your kids from living with an abusive twat OP? This is not acceptable.

HowToSaveAWife · 18/08/2023 22:11

Cantdoright86 · 18/08/2023 22:05

So just tried to talk to dh and been told that he can't forgive me at the moment for making him miss out on spending time with the children

Because of my interfering when he was trying to get dc to eat he felt he had to sit away. And its my fault that when the kids were playing in the garden I didn't go and sit in the office space we have so he could then sit with the kids

And the it's my fault he had to go and sit upstairs this evening because he didn't want to be around me.

So all my fault obviously!

Oh wow. You just got DARVO'd.

Dottymug · 18/08/2023 22:16

Tell him to take a long walk off a short pier. He's an absolute tosser. Please don't listen to another word of his nonsense. Phone a lawyer tomorrow.

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/08/2023 22:17

Has your husband ever taken time off sick? Has he gone to bed with a cold or flu?

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/08/2023 22:19

but because I didn't 'consult' dh he spent an hour screaming in my face and then again after the kids had gone to bed screamed at me again

He is absolutely horrendous. Anyone who shouts like that is highly abusive. If you put that together with the way he treated your son honestly I think you should get the hell away from him.

2jacqi · 18/08/2023 22:19

so you really have three children to look after and coddle? one eight year old and two kids at two years old!! your hubby sounds like a right idiot when it is obvious that your two year old was not feeling quite himself. bit of a bully is your hubby and i would be watching his behaviour around the two year old. he sounds like he could lose it very quickly!