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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I ate all his honey cheerios

146 replies

tattooedteagal · 17/08/2023 21:38

DH came back from work with some milk and cereal the other day.

DS has been wanting Cheerios for breakfast lately and I had a bowl today.

DH just come upstairs whilst I was in bed and had a go at me for eating his honey Cheerios. Apparently I should have asked!

I told him we're married and have a family. If he brings in cereal I assume it's for all of us,not just him. When I do our big monthly or fortnightly shop, I don't tell him off for eating the last packet of mini cheddars.

He says it's courtesy to ask.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Rollonsept · 18/08/2023 05:38

slithytoveisascientist · 17/08/2023 23:05

The other day I bought cool Doritos as part of weekly shop

We never get these, they were a treat for me. The kids always have the same crisps, as does DH. I rarely have crisps.

I bought a multi bag. Fancying 1-2.

Over 2 days unknown to me DH and kids had all 5 packets.

When I told him why I bought them he was mortified, went out and bought me more.

No nastiness no grief but he understood.

Sounds like the honey Cheerios were the same as my Doritos.

OP is worse. Because her DH actually bought the cereal on a seperate occasion and even the milk! It was NOT part of their weekly food shop...

CurlewKate · 18/08/2023 06:00
  1. He shouldn't have "had a go." In my house this would be a "puppy dog face guilt trip" scenario.
  2. People are allowed their own things. It's a family, not a commune.
  3. Eating someone else's treats is a bit shit. Families work best if people are nice and considerate to each other.
PuddlesPityParty · 18/08/2023 06:10

Not being funny but on the other thread where it’s a woman saying her husband ate her food the answers aren’t - all food in the house is for sharing.

RedHelenB · 18/08/2023 06:48

tattooedteagal · 17/08/2023 21:49

@Gymnopedie he came up and accused me of eating all his Cheerios hence the post. I didn't. I had one bowl. DH had 1. DS ate the rest.

So why does ds get to eat them all?

babbscrabbs · 18/08/2023 06:55

I can understand why he's annoyed assuming it's not something you usually have all the time.

GarlicGrace · 18/08/2023 06:58

YABVU for making me want some honey Cheerios now, OP!

NalafromtheLionKing · 18/08/2023 07:01

A pack of cereal doesn’t go far so perhaps start buying in bulk so you have enough to go round?

PuffingPuffin · 18/08/2023 07:06

tattooedteagal · 17/08/2023 21:43

@foulksmills I didn't eat the last of them. There was enough left for DS breakfast but not enough for a grown man. I've only had one bowl.

My husband does this, it drives me mad. Particularly as for dietary reasons there is usually only one type of cereal in the house I can eat at a time, and he goes and scoffs it all.

He grew up in a household where you finished one box of cereal before you open the next and still seems to have that mentality. Meanwhile im all about choice and variation and don't necessarily want to eat the same thing every morning.

Right nos we have 12 varieties of cereal available, plus porridge or toast. There is no need for him to eat the entire box of the only one I can eat!

Yabu I'm afraid.

MaryMagda · 18/08/2023 07:10

At least you know what to get him for Christmas!

ScoobyDon · 18/08/2023 07:13

Makes no sense.

DH buys a box of cereal and has one bowl. Next minute the box is empty. So did this cheerio eating by DS take place over a number of days or did you just let him eat them all in one go?

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 18/08/2023 07:20

Why is OP responsible for sons behaviour and DH not? Based on no info whatsoever?

Icycloud · 18/08/2023 07:32

Then he should have bought a bigger box, what kind of cereal box only has enough for one adult and a child

CandyLeBonBon · 18/08/2023 07:33

How old is DS?

Changeforachange · 18/08/2023 07:44

Rubbish.
He's had a bowl of the special cereal, scratching his craving itch.

DS has been merrily gobbling it, but that's no issue - It's only worth moaning when you have a bit?

If he was that bothered, why hasn't he had any more before now?

GrumpyPanda · 18/08/2023 07:51

PuddlesPityParty · 18/08/2023 06:10

Not being funny but on the other thread where it’s a woman saying her husband ate her food the answers aren’t - all food in the house is for sharing.

You're not just being "funny" you're being disingenuous. I was on that thread and the husband in question had a constant habit of eating anything and everything including the kids' Easter eggs, somebody else's birthday chocolates and things he'd been told explicitly his wife had bought for herself. So respecting zero boundaries all the while hiding away goodies for himself.

In this case, sounds like it was a one-off and there was unclear communication involved. I hasten to say I'm not a cereals person so no idea if cheerios are anything fancier than the plain vanilla stuff.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 18/08/2023 07:56

It's annoying when you really fancy something and it's all gone, especially when you bought it specifically for yourself.

burnoutbabe · 18/08/2023 08:06

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 18/08/2023 07:56

It's annoying when you really fancy something and it's all gone, especially when you bought it specifically for yourself.

But then surely you put it aside abs make sure people know it's "yours".

I particularly like one cereal so partner generally asks if he can have a bowl if he is peckish (and confirms that there is enough left for my breakfast too). There are usually other cereals too.

So one should use ones words!

AnImaginaryCat · 18/08/2023 08:08

Think reasonableness depends on a few things

  1. if the OP has full uncompromising control of the contents of the weekly/fortnightly shop. Meaning no one can add or request 'treats' they want. Meaning the husband went on a mad rebellious mission.

  2. if it's ever happened that anyone has bought an item into the house before as a treat for themselves. If not it would mean no one knew how to behave.

  3. if the OP ever gets to buy herself something as a treat for no-one else, or if it's consider part of the weekly shopping and therefore fair game. This would mean the goose was just being treated as the gander.

  4. how long the box of Cheerios was there for before it was down to not enough for an adult man. If ages then dud the husband specify he was planning on eating them over several days .

  5. did the husband have any at all before there wasn't enough left for a grown man. If not then this is wrong - though influence by point 2, 3 and 4.

  6. If it was the case the son opened went through the packet before anyone else got near it. This will be influence by 4.

I mean if his dad brought the packet in to the house in the evening and then the next morning discover his son was akin to a locus and had eaten most of it, it's not great is it. There's definitely an elementof his objection being reasonable. (If this is the case the fact he is blaming the OP is unreasonable.)

If he bought the packet on a Monday, didn't go near it and then complained on the Saturday the was none left it's all moving into unreasonableness.

I've thought about this for too long. 😄

ZiriForEver · 18/08/2023 08:10

Actually, bringing milk and some cereals doesn't scream "treat" to me. He might had noticed that there isn't enough and stopped on the way home to get some.

He is unreasonable to be too sulky about it. If he wants normal food treated differently, he needs to speak

Sunsnet · 18/08/2023 08:20

It's not your fault he didn't buy enough! He bought one box of cereal and some milk, you bought everything else. Time to hide all the loo paper I think. When he complains tell him he kept using it without asking!

Ohyesreally · 18/08/2023 08:24

Surely he's not so selfish that he couldn't have worked out that you and DC might fancy some too? In which case he has two options, buy a single box and share and he might only get a bowl out of it or buy a number of boxes for everyone to share.

When I go out and bring home a slab of Dairy Milk or whatnot, it's separate to the usual weekly shop, it's an impulse purchase. However, I would always offer some to DW, and in many cases, they'd often eat more than me. To me, that's perfectly okay as I would assume after looking after two young children all day, she probably needs it more than I do!

SushiSuave · 18/08/2023 08:24

mrsm43s · 17/08/2023 21:59

Is DS old enough that he is helping himself to cereal, or have you been serving him the cereal that you know that DH bought as a treat?

If DH had one bowl, and you used the rest of the packet by eating and/or serving it up to a child, then it really is "you" that took all his cereal, even if it was DS doing the eating.

If DS has been helping himself (and hasn't previously been told that it's not for him), then he's not to blame, but he probably needs a reminder not to take more than his fair share in future.

The general consensus on here seems to be that treats that people buy for themselves shouldn't be taken without asking, and most certainly more than a fair share should never be taken.

I was thinking the same thing - wonder if OP will answer this one. Did DS eat them all because OP gave them all to him. I already think OP IBU to take the last adult sized portion, but even more so if she has fed the rest to her son.

XMissPlacedX · 18/08/2023 08:30

I buy myself nesquik cereal and hide it in another cupboard in the house and eat it when the kids are in bed. Your DH is being unreasonable for not hiding his cereal better.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 18/08/2023 08:37

Sunsnet · 18/08/2023 08:20

It's not your fault he didn't buy enough! He bought one box of cereal and some milk, you bought everything else. Time to hide all the loo paper I think. When he complains tell him he kept using it without asking!

OH does most of the shopping in our house, does this mean I'm not allowed anything for myself? Or allowed to moan if it's all gone?

Sunsnet · 18/08/2023 08:55

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 18/08/2023 08:37

OH does most of the shopping in our house, does this mean I'm not allowed anything for myself? Or allowed to moan if it's all gone?

Show quote history

Yes, if you're going to demand he asks before eating/using something you have bought. Rather than complaining you would be better off going out and buying some more yourself. Is it also your OH's job to monitor everything to ensure it doesn't run out? I'd be pretty pissed off if I did all the shopping and all my OH did was complain when things run out rather then pulling their weight.