Someone I vaguely know is going to jail

[Samscity]

An article was circulated in a WhatsApp group chat today of someone we went to university with. He was involved in a hit and run and killed the person and then handed himself in. He's now going to jail

I think it's so scary how someone's fate can change so dramatically in a heartbeat. I feel it's shocking and so devastating that someone died. I don't know the guy that did it well at all, just saw him at a friend's flat party etc never spoke to him.. but just all very unnerving

NC as it can be outing. A relative of mine was in a relationship in their teens who became one of the UK's most wanted decades later. I remember when I was young thinking of him as a big teddy bear!

I know of a man who, while drunk, started a fight with a random man in the street. The other man punched him back once, but it caused him to fall, hit his head, and die. He got done for manslaughter. All because a random drunk man attacked him for no reason. I found that terribly unfair.

I hope nobody hits you, or anybody you care about, and injures you so badly that you have a chance of surviving - but they then drive off and leave you to die alone at the side of the road.

Panic makes people react differently, but where do we draw the line. Someone panics their child is seriously ill so attacks a doctor or hospital worker for not acting quick enough? Someone panics their wife is going to leave, so beats her? Someone panics they’ll get arrested so murders the policeman apprehending them? Someone panics that someone might attack them and pre emptively attacks?

There is no excuse for driving off. I know I would panic, I know I would consider driving off,, I know I would still stop.

I wonder if I know you, as I have a VERY similar story… Is he now in prison after avoiding it for a long time?

It's shocking when someone who you counted as a friend goes to jail as happened to someone in my (then) circle of what seemed like law-abiding friends.

In this case, it was a calculated fraud of hundreds of thousands of pounds against a vulnerable adult and didn't seem at all like the friend we thought we'd known for years.

The evidence against them was overwhelming though.

A teenager was killed near me recently. 4 lads in a car, speeding at night. All well over the limit for alcohol and other substances. Crashed through a hedge that had a wooden fence within it. 3 walked away, fourth killed in a terrible fluke where a piece of wood from the fence struck him and killed him. I know the father of the lad who died. It’s a terrible, needless, tragic accident but the family of the lad who was driving has received death threats and the lad himself is on suicide watch.
It was terrible and tragic but it was not an accident.

@TeleTropes are you in Scotland?

I agree that most hit and runs, the driver has something else they're trying to hide/get away with...

But shock and panic do some very odd things to the brain, and if you haven't experienced it yourself, it's not quite so black and white as it might appear.

There is a world of difference between;

'hit someone, panicked, kept driving for a while then went to a police station'

and (as happened locally here):

'Left the pub at 2am knowing he was pissed, knowing his friend had left 10 minutes earlier to do the same route on a bike, knowing the route is unlit, windy bendy country lanes and knowing friends bike is not well lit.... hits friend doing around 50ish on a 60 limit stretch. He got out of his car, saw that another car was stopping and ran... hid and fell asleep (so he says) under a bush (in the pissing rain?!) and then walked home and told his Dad in the morning!

He did get a prison sentence but not for all that long - just 5 months! He also got a 3 year driving ban.

Whilst I am sure he did panic, I am also sure that forefront in his mind was that he was drunk and he would lose his licence if caught, and that would mean he could not work.

I'm in my mid-50s and don't know anyone who has been arrested or been to prison. I would have thought that was the norm. Most people are respectable.

No, north west so likely not the same person.

Interesting that there are lots of teddy bear criminals about though!

Er🤔
in that situation certainly you would have been traumatised, and needhelp psychologically to recover from some one over

BUT
This person is going to jail because

1. they did not stop after the a accident , nor did they report it in time to call ambulance immediately - the clue is “hit and run” . This automatically adds 6 months to a sentence
2. they have been found guilty of death by dangerous driving the minimum sentence is 2 years and could be up to life now . The dangerous diving would have been sole reason the other person died. If the person’s sun was blind drunk and stepped out into road, then driver may b punished for dangerous driving still if he was over speed limit, but not manslaughter or death by dangerous driving on its own .
3. any previous offenses and points will add to sentence

what you describe would be in no shape or form considered dangerous driving. You were within speed limit, presumably had a car insured and road worthy, hopefully no previous conviction, and it sounds like guy was drunk or ill which would be picked up in autopsy. Also, you would have stopped, wouldn’t you?

it doesn’t help anyone projecting yourself into a situation you have no relevance too.
🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

The flight reaction in running can be the difference between the person they hit diesing and surviving so no sympathy.

I can imagine being in shock and carrying on driving for a few minutes before the reality of the situation sunk in

I can imagine this, too. I had a near miss on a country road one time: someone coming towards me took a blind corner wide and we nearly crashed head-on. We both corrected but the other car skidded onto the verge, where it stopped. I just carried on. I remember thinking "what the hell just happened?" but didn't stop until my passenger yelled at me.

All the people were okay, just shaken up, and the other car had a bit of a scrape but I was really shocked by my reaction, or lack of it. It's been so drummed in to me that you ALWAYS stop yet, in the moment, I made no decision at all - just went kind of blank and focused on driving.

Someone I know just got away with rape (at trial). From what I know about them anecdotally (from other women), I 100% think they were guilty. It’s gutting to know the brave woman who went through with the trial will have been left crushed by the outcome. When he rapes again if anyone reports him a jury will not be allowed to know of his previous trial which is ‘fair’ I know but also immensely frustrating. He’s the child of an emotional abuser and now he’s become a physical and emotional abuser. It’s like helplessly watching the world’s slowest car crash seeing him inflict his poison on the world, on and on the cycle will go.

Many hit and runs aren't instantly fatal... that why its a crime, the run part is actively leaving them to die even if the 'hit' was an accident.

Unless you are drunk etc... and trying to cover that the accident wasn't so accidental then theres no reason to 'run'. You have to lack basic human empathy not to help someone whose been run over.

Lets flip this another way:

You are carrying your toddler and you trip and the child goes head first into the ground, broken skull, internal bleeding... do you panic?

Yes of course you do EVERYONE would

Was it an accident?

Yes

Does the thought that even though it was an accident you'll get blamed cross your mind?

Likely

But any decent person rushes the child to medical help, they dont run off leaving the kid there and hide down their mam for a bit while the child dies then say 'sorry'.

The above HAS happened before, but who of us would act like that? the MAJORITY don't, even in a panic scenario when it comes to saving a life we do the right thing, same as hit and runs... its the careless action after the accident that makes it despicable.

You dont KNOW any one thats not respectable?

That is quite a feat, not associating with people who are toxic is one thing but having never even known one person thats got a criminal record of some sort is really quite impressive.

@JusthereforXmas I also genuinely don't know anyone who has been involved with the law. I agree with PP, most people haven't...

I genuinely don't either . I didn't think it was that unusual

About 6 months after I started driving, I ran over a dog. It was standing with its back to my vehicle on a dark (night) country lane. I was probably going 40/50 mph. I didn’t see it till it looked round and its eyes caught the headlights. It was too late for stopping distance as emergency stop.

2 things happened

1. I swerved to try to avoid- even though Highway Code tells you not to as it could cause you to plough into oncoming car.
2. once I stopped, I couldn’t face getting out. I was thinking of that dog impacted against my car and all the blood and damage. I literally didn’t want to look, and didn’t want to have to pull it from car and try to deal with it . I sat with my hazards on, completely immobilised

luckily, my bf of time was in car with me. He exclaimed fairly calmly NOT to swerve, so I avoided swerving instinct too much and only just went over central white line. Secondly , he was one that got out car and looked. dog wasn’t on the bumper or under car- it had obviously rebounded. He looked around but as it was dark it was impossible. He listened but couldn’t hear anything.

he then pragmatically checked the car. And we went home, about 3 miles
I called police form there to report hitting a dog. I was very shocked, in tears, and the lovely policeman was trying to stop my distress with “well it’d mostly likely already got hit before you ran into it and why it was in middle of road not moving “🤷🏼‍♀️.

the next morning, we saw it’d taken out the radiator, water all over the drive . cost £400 back then to repair😢

the lesson I learnt from this was that I would, if I hit a person, be equally as frozen and fearful to look at the result . But I know that, and in itself it’s prepared me since to be aware my natural instinct is that. I’m sure some hit and runs at drivers on their own like me with that dog. BUT, that sentence is 6 months, and doesn’t form the main part of a dangerous driving offence where you’ve killed someone’s by driving dangerously. I think the 6 months additional sentence seems horrifically low sentence to family that have lost loved ones, but I do think reflects that many people will “freeze” or “flight” in this situation, who aren’t necessarily bad people or even driving dangerously. I don’t think enough people recognise that if it happens to you, you may have such strong instincts to run away from fear, that it will take a lot to resist that.

hats off to people whose natural instinct is immediately to get out and look 🥺

Was this the Scottish guy living in Ibiza?

It's more probable that you are just not AWARE of connections. E.g. that your stepdad's sister's cousin went to prison. Or that your driving instructor's brother was convicted of fraud etc.

I'm going to say you very likely do and just arent paying attention. Maybe your the type of circle where everything is hush hush.

Unless you have a tiny circle and basically lived as a hermit everyone will know someone that has had interactions with the law.

I mean when I was 5 a neighbor a few doors down went to jail for killing a mugger by fighting back (also in keeping with the thread he only got jail time because he fled the scene and didn't report it, otherwise it would have been deemed self defense) and I grew up in a very good area.

Thats 1 of at least 5 I could name that I've known of in my life. Non of them have any person baring on me or me but I know of them through location, situation, circles etc...

Someone I went to school with got put in jail for hitting another girl in our year on her moped.
It was sad because they were both lovely girls and only 16 and 17.
Although I fell sadder for the girl that died, I do also feel sad for the driver because her life will never be the same even when she gets out.

I don’t either and by laws of probability most people won’t - so you’re wrong
1.2% of population are arrested for something
that’s much higher if you’re black
it’s higher if you’re a bloke
And a good portion of those are same people arrested multiple times

for a white women, I am more than 99% more likely to have never known someone arrested than I am to know someone.

maths and probability 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

I think is largely down to your social class of origin, and whether you grew up somewhere deprived. I went to an all-girls school in a very deprived area from 4 to 18, and lots of former classmates that I know of have been in prison. Being women, the majority were in for petty crimes like shoplifting, failure to pay fines, possession of drugs, and had addiction or MH issues. Though the girl I used to sit next to in maths, who was already notorious for getting into fights and who had a missing mother and an addict father, was in for GBH.

I’m the exception from that school, and I’m well aware it was luck, being clever and having a core of stubbornness and realising education was my escape.