To ask women to share about perimenopause/menopause

[Mamabear04]

I've just read this article about perimenopause/menopause and it's made me realise I don't know anything about a major change that's going to happen to me over the next course of life!

Would others be able to tell about their experiences, advice (including how to deal with unhelpful health services) and encouragement that it will be OK?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-65532730

My experience is all positive, it was a breeze - freedom at last from periods and period pain, no unpleasant symptoms. More money saved! More freedom and energy, and more mobility.

The only symptoms I have had are occasional hot flush, and occasional joint stiffness which wears off very quickly. I didn't even realise the joint thing was related to the menopause until recently.

Most of my friends are similar, not all, some have had sweats and itching.

I saw my GP and asked if I should be on HRT. He went through a list of symptoms with me and then said no, if it aint broke, don't fix it

Quite right op. I wish to goodness I'd known about all this.

My periods were so heavy I felt like it was pouring out of me. And I became anaemic without knowing.

I’m in the midst of this and am lucky to have so many friends going through it with me.
im currently having periods after having a coil for so long and this was my choice so that I could say goodbye to a part I never accepted fully and hopefully make my peace.

the only one who ever spoke to me about menopause ever was my MIL and we spoke at length about this before she died.

the itching though, is hell on earth, and why they call it vaginal itching when it’s literally everywhere but mostly vulva and definitely not the vaginal… for me anyway.

BRAIN FOG.

And also, I just forget things. Like, a lot.

For me, physically a walk in the park - minimal hot flushes and night sweats. Mentally, bit of a car crash. Horrendous anxiety, plummeting self esteem, awful mood swings.

For me the heavy flooding periods have been the very worst part of it.

They have literally had me housebound for some days and if I had to go out of the house I had to use extra large Tena Lady pants (so adult nappies). They were the only thing that contained them, otherwise it soaked through my clothes and ran down my legs in minutes. It was like a tap being permanently turned on!!

Mirena coil was hopeless and made things worse. I had several hysteroscopies and a fibroid was also removed. My last flood was about four months ago now and nothing since, so I am really hoping that they have come to an end now. Especially as I am 57 now. I don't trust it yet though. They stopped for a year once after a course of Zoladex injections and then returned, so seeing/experiencing that they will never come back is something that will take a long time.

Oh yes. The brain fog and the forgetfulness. I even managed to forget about that in my above post!

Would be good to hear people's ages at menopause and age of onset for perimenopause

Had last period at 50. Onset of peri around 43.

I never had light periods, so if they were that heavy in the perimenopause it was not noteworthy, as I had periods like that anyway. I was very glad when they stopped.

There's a menopause topic under health - lots of useful threads in there...

I've found it all very useful and the knowledge gained from there and other sites meant I was well informed to deal with GP etc...

It's very much individual- just because others have a good or bad experience, it doesn't mean you will, but from personal experience of not really suffering with periods etc, peri has hit me hard with full range of symptoms and it's taken about 18 months since I first asked for hrt (tweaks to treatment and referrals) to feel like I'm getting back to being myself.

Surgical menopause at 40. One of the worst things that has ever happened to me. Almost 10 years later I’m still not ‘me’ and don’t think I ever will be. The terrible hot flushes may have gone but the crippling anxiety, brittle nails, straw like hair, terrible skin, insomnia and brain fog that is so bad I’ve been to see the GP thinking I’ve got dementia, are still ruining my life on a daily basis. HRT helped for a while but gave me really lumpy boobs so had to stop it.

Oh and bladder weakness. Forgot that one due to forgetting almost everything!

I'm 52, get the odd night sweat but I'm also diabetic so it could be from that. Odd joint pain that's managed by vitamin D and the odd Ibuprofen. Periods still ongoing but well managed with a Mirena coil.

I feel quite annoyed at the assumption that I should be a jibbering wreck in the corner and popping HRT like smarties. I don't think that all the menopause attention is actually helping women - it's just another stick to beat us with.

So far, irregular periods (used to be like clockwork) so 2 v light periods one month, one heavy to light period that lasted 2 weeks the next month, then back to regular.

No brain fog/hot flashes/any other perimenopause/menopause symptoms.

Always had horrible PMS (PMDD?) but this has also eased off. So far..I hope.

This only started this year; I'm 52 with no children.

I'm 51 and still have regular-ish periods but they're gradually getting closer together.

I'm presumably perimenopausal but luckily so far haven't had anything I could definitely pin on it.

I think we should all be aware that topical vaginal estrogen is a thing - it can help with utis, itching, dryness, and vaginal atrophy which can all be caused by lowering estrogen levels and it's NOT the same as HRT in terms of potential risk factors, so worth asking your GP about if any of the above are happening to you.

Some of the symptoms I've had are not the ones that are widely associated with the menopause. I've not had the hot flushes or night sweats. I have had :

Brain fog
Confusion
Itching
Joint pain
Suicidal thoughts - daily at one point
Low mood/mood swings
Despair
Dry eyes, nose, mouth, and skin
Thinning hair
Rage

A lot of these symptoms were extremely debilitating at times, especially the mood related ones. I still felt fairly young and fresh up to the age of about 45 (I'm 49 now) and then seemingly overnight I became a shell of a person.

My advice would be don't delay getting on HRT & research the kind you want to take. If you experience any mood related symptoms, do not let your doctor palm you off with anti depressants. My doctor (actually, it was the nurse I saw) was being quite unhelpful so I ended up getting a private consultation with a menopause specialist and she wrote to my doctor telling them what to prescribe.

We have a menopause support club at work I've not been yet.

I'm and the only thing I've noticed is my periods are closer together than they once were, now on a 26 day cycle. I now also get ovulation pain as well as period pain.

I've lots of friends on HRT, and one who has gone through menopause and is out thr other side.

Wildly irregular periods from 40. Am now 49 and last one was eleven and a half months ago, so crossing fingers! But was previously disappointed after gaps of 8 months and 6 months more than once.

Perimenopause brought menstrual migraines and cyclical depression. I did not have the huge flooding periods, thankfully.

I feel quite annoyed at the assumption that I should be a jibbering wreck in the corner and popping HRT like smarties. I don't think that all the menopause attention is actually helping women - it's just another stick to beat us with.

Who is assuming anything of the sort? Personally, I am extremely grateful that I can tell my boss why I am sometimes slower and more forgetful than usual and we both know that it’s only temporary.

I went into surgical menopause overnight at the age of 42 (although I was in peri menopause for a year or so leading up to the operation). I can't take HRT. Generally speaking it's been ok, I treat symptoms as and when they arise. Mainly osteopenia, vaginal atrophy, insomnia, lack of energy, brain fog, sore joints, hair loss, and dry eyes. I'd absolutely take HRT if I could, but I've managed ok (for the most part) without it.

Lucky you. A lot of women have an horrendous time. The more information the better.

I was on hrt but came off because of migraines. I just take menopace and vitamin d and sometimes magnesium. I eat well, do moderate exercise sometimes long hikes, and relax as much as possible. I enjoy my job which helps.

I'd suggest talking to older female relatives as their experiences are likely to be more similar to yours than the general population. It's also worth looking at whether you have any risk factors for bone health such as parents with osteoporosis or hip fractures.

One thing that's good to know is that you can start acting now to preserve your bone health and muscle development, through eating healthily, supplementing vitamin D in the winter and doing strength training and impact exercise. Some loss of bone and muscle is inevitable as you age but the more you build up when you're younger the better your starting point will be.

For the rest, I wouldn't fret too much - most women have no symptoms or symptoms that respond to HRT and/or lifestyle changes.

I have had a horrendous time and really could have done with more understanding at work.

I had absolutely uncontrollable rage, anxiety, unable to stop crying, panic attacks, feelings of absolute doom, huge weight gain. Itchy ears, gum disease. That was just perimenopause.

Since menopause I have added extreme tiredness, total lack of motivation, lack of libido, Uti's, inability to orgasm.

I take HRT 'like Smarties' now and a lot of the symptoms have gone. I do wish some women would stop being cunts to other women who are suffering.

I was a gibbering wreck. I had early menopause and by the age of 49 could walk up the stairs at the end of the day. By the time I finally persuaded my GP to give me HRT I already had osteoporosis.

I only persuaded him by showing himy non existent sleep patterns on my Fitbit.

It was hell. Not helped by people swishing their hair and telling everyone how they skipped through it.

I wish no woman the pain I went through, but glibly saying how fine it all is just makes other women who are having a shit time feel so much worse about it, as if they are just not chipper enough to brazen it out.