To ask women to share about perimenopause/menopause

[Mamabear04]

I've just read this article about perimenopause/menopause and it's made me realise I don't know anything about a major change that's going to happen to me over the next course of life!

Would others be able to tell about their experiences, advice (including how to deal with unhelpful health services) and encouragement that it will be OK?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-65532730

You can't jugde what other women have experienced.

My uncle used to say that about my aunt, mood swings, irrational behaviour, anger, etc.

My aunt, on the other hand says clarity of thought, assertiveness and the realisation she had been a doormat most of her life!

My uncle did not like the change in her, but she did.

How did you know perimenopause had started? What were the signs?

@Diorama1 I think that's the thing..., often we aren't aware if things like rage until something makes it clear to us.

2 years ago I would have said the same .... no issues... periods ahead reduced from 25 days to 22 but weren't much of an issue. DH often said I seemed angry and I denied it - couldn't see an issue it was always someone else being a problem.

Then I started with sleep issues - being extremely hot, insomnia both in terms of getting to sleep or waking in the early hours and not going back to sleep, weight gain, joint pain etc and by Christmas 21 I decided I need to sort it out. After starting researching HRT I joined a lot of dots and realised I had other symptoms (anxiety, lack of confidence, brain fog) and had been in peri for years - I'd even changed jobs and looked to cut back to a 4 day week.

Within a few weeks on hrt, the anger and rage subsided and I now see just how different I am in my outlook. As I've gone through the hrt journey (now on patches, utrogestan and testosterone as well as topical oestrogen, everything is more balanced and I genuinely feel much more like myself. If things stay as they are , I will stay on hrt as long as possible.

But that's my choice for my circumstances and isn't right for everyone.

My perimenopause was very quick My periods just shortened and lightened over a few months. I was early 30s.
Was advised against HRT at the time as I was too young.

Currently wondering if I should seek some as I am struggling with my weight and energy levels or whether I will be laughed out the doctors office with a diet sheet

I think I was peri at about 47. I had horrendous flooding and didn't know what was happening. My GP was no help. I got a coil fitted, which stopped the flooding but the developing anxiety was horrendous. I had no idea (this was about 15 years ago) that it was a menopausal symptom and just thought I was going crazy. It's scary how ignorant I was. It pretty much caused me to give up my job, to move to something less stressful, I just couldn't do it any more. Again, my GP was clueless and put me on antidepressants.
I'm also a nervous driver now. I'm ok if I'm alone in the car but I can't cope with passengers any more.
I think it was that Davina doc that opened my eyes, and pointed me towards HRT, probably about ten years after I needed it. My libido has vanished completely though.
I haven't had many physical symptoms...no hot flushes or night sweats, which is what I was expecting.

Dr Louise Newson (meno specialist) has a podcast which is very interesting and useful. She interviewed a woman recently who started menopause at 17!

I'm 41 and have no idea if I'm perimenopausal or if something else is up with me! I used to have the contraceptive implant up until about 2 years ago, after that came out my periods came back and were pretty standard for a while. However, in the past year they've been really weird. I'm getting far worse period pain than I ever used to get, but now the period itself often doesn't come at all! I've had a couple that went on for about 2 weeks and a few that have lasted a day or 2. The past week or so I've been having cramps and the odd bit of pink discharge or old looking dark blood, but again no actual period. When I do have an actual period I'm not even needing pads as nothing is coming out apart from when I go to the loo.

My skin has been awful recently, outbreaks of eczema and my face is all red and bumpy. The worst thing though is that my energy levels have really hit the floor, I can't find the motivation to do anything and I hate having to leave the house for anything. I often get feelings of dread that I might be dying of something.

My mum and my nan had pretty obvious menopause symptoms like bad hot flashes and I think they were both a bit older than I am now when it started.

@Nevermay my point is that many people think there are only a few symptoms of menopause/peri and if they didnt/dont have them, that they didnt/dont suffer. They dont realise that mood swings, anxiety, loss of confidence, feeling flat, acne, brain fog, etc are also symptoms and therefore dont connect the dots.

My main symptom is a very strange feeling in my body about 5 nights a month. I cant even properly explain what it feels like. When it started I thought I was having a stroke or something. Progesterone has all but stopped it, I dont know what it is but I do know its being caused by low progesterone and is a peri symptom.

This. And yet every time anyone on MN says they had a normal birth or breastfed happily everyone else screams they should be kind.
Here it was appalling vaginal and bladder symptoms followed by hot flushes that would go on at night for four hours straight. Oh and dry eyes. HRT is marvellous.

Doubt it has anything to do with it. My periods were horrendous since the age of 11. I have had my health spurts but not generally been fit and active, I have been overweight for about the last twenty years. But as reported already on the thread, my menopause was a breeze.

Does anyone else get bad heartburn? It’s ruining my life & I think it could be menopause related after Googling.

My friend recently sent me this podcast link. I found it very interesting.

i think the opposite. For some people it does leave them a jibbering wreck and hrt helps them. Whatever helps get more focus on women’s health and more attention on research into women’s health is a good thing in my book. I’m 41 and in perimenopause. Apart from the itching, dry skin, hair and scalp and worsening allergies, I’ve got brain fog, anxiety, loss of confidence, my joints and muscles hurt, I’ve had bouts of dizziness and headaches. My periods are all over the place and the pmt is horrendous. I’ve been on hrt for over a year and I’m still not right. So bully for you that you’re not a jibbering wreck but I’d prefer the doctors to be finding out why I am. And they’re not. Because there still isn’t enough focus on women’s health. That’s the actual stick that women get beaten with.

Oh and it wasn’t until I started having hot flushes that I realised this was all perimenopause. I was studying and thought I’d just got incredibly stupid because I’d start a sentence and not be able to finish it. It was horrible feeling like my mind was going at 39.

I'm 46 tried HRT tablets last year but they deffo did not agree with so tried to go without. Period cycle was anything from 14 days to 63 days.
Symptoms were flushes, poor concentration, confusion, teary, low mood and brain fog....oh and forgetfulness.
Started the Evorel Sequi nearly finished my 1st pack. The rage I have been having is something else!!! Feel so tired all the time. Needing the loo all the time. Not looking forward to my 1st withdrawal bleed 😕

Unobstructed view of 50. Don’t really know if I’m PM as I have a Minerva coil so haven’t had a period for 15 years since I had DD. Main issue has been lack of motivation/ weird anxiety over stupid little things like a long personal admin list and a sort of paralysis in getting started on it. This is somewhat cyclical so suggests is hormonal. Some night time itchiness and sweats but I’ve always had the sweats periodically ( say once a month so probably to do with my cycle) since I was young. Some loss of physical fitness ( running pace at given HR) and training load but from a fairly high base and possibly just age related.

I started oestrogen gel and testosterone about 6 months ago and I’d say it has definitely improved motivation and just general “get up and go”. Also taking a vit D and magnesium. Not sure the magnesium is helping the sleep but it definitely keeps you regular 🤣🤣

Honestly I know that I’m probably getting too old for my “gym and Tonic” lifestyle and some of what I’m experiencing could be fixed by less wine/ going out and more sleep but I just don’t wanna so I’m my own worst enemy.

My experience is all positive, it was a breeze - freedom at last from periods and period pain, no unpleasant symptoms. More money saved! More freedom and energy, and more mobility.
Most of my friends are similar

I am similar to Nevermay as are all my friends and colleagues in their 50's.
Are we not allowed to express our truth Sbiskka?
I agree that the focus on the menopause has been detrimental to women in their mid-life being treated on level playing field with men career wise.

I started on HRT at 46. Symptoms weren't awful apart from the hot flushes but I thought why suffer those? I've started on testosterone now too because I am finding it increasingly difficult to orgasm which is annoying, and I hope that the brain fog I suffer will ease too when that kicks in. But I am not sure how much the brain fog is peri menopause and how much is just a very full busy mind and a fair bit of unavoidable stress. I have male friends my age who also say they are less sharp so it could be a general age thing.

I started having horrendous horrible heavy periods in my early 40's. (Now 54). Endless appointments at the doctor. Female doctor said its part of being a woman!!! Got so bad in the end I was soaking through night pad pants and pyjamas in 30 minutes. Had the coil inserted and they stopped. Four years later I had it removed. The good news....i am post menopausal. Brain fog has gone and joint problems are much better. Good luck with it x

Started with a whole lot of individual symptoms at the age of 43.5 which individually would prob be manageable but combined were heavy going:
periods heavier(not flooding thankfully) and went from very regular to all over the place.
Brain fog, Confusion, short temper, suicidal thoughts, lack of confidence, exhaustion but not able to reliably sleep well, low mood, dry eyes, acne, lack of patience, feeling like my bladder was not fully emptying, digestive issues (lots of diarrhoea). Probably more too. Was already on antidepressants and exercising heavily (spinning and weight/strength training) approx 5 times a week, eating healthily etc
Started on HRT at 44 and it’s helped massively- most of these symptoms have now gone. I do feel my libido is slightly diminished on HRT and I have put on weight (annoyingly) but it’s worth it for me.

The cessation of my periods was sudden and relatively easy (I'd suffered appalling periods of 11 days every 23 days for years, with much pain) 13 years ago at age 52.

The continuing aftermath of hot flushes (I still get them), dreadful mood swings (flashed of RAGE), the impact on my body of the lack of oestrogen - continues.

I'm 49 and currently still having fairly regular periods. They're more unpredictable than they used to be though - sometime late / early, or lighter / heavier than usual.

I haven't had many physical symptoms. I'm not sleeping as well as I used to, and a bit of brain fog - that's it really.

I'm 47, periods started getting closer together about a year ago and are now every 3 weeks or so. No hot flushes yet, but for the last six months I've been investigated for MS as I have many MS like symptoms including constant pins and needles, muscle twitches, weird electrical zings in my face and limbs, and other neurological symptoms.

All investigations negative despite lowish Vitamin D.
I have read that perimenopause can cause neurological symptoms because some hormones act on neurological receptors, so I'm assuming now that it is something to do with hormone levels and the start of perimenopause.
The last year, I have also gained weight around my waist, there is an extra "bump" that was never there before (I always had a small waist) but definitely not my imagination, it's like the weight has shifted location.
I have also noticed hair thinning at the front of my hairline, I can see my scalp more than I could before.

Insomnia and restless legs/arms at night.

Brain fog, forgetfulness, losing words for common objects.
A bit weepy sometimes over silly things.

I am taking VitD supplements as well as soy and a supplement to hopefully help the hair loss. Other than that, I've had enough doctors appointments in the last 6 months to last a lifetime if I can help it.

Do look at the benefits of HRT. X

Had been expecting a late, easy menopause in line with those of my mother and grandmother; at 44 I was not even feeling remotely pre-menopausal. Then I had to have chemotherapy and was dragged kicking and screaming into immediate chemical menopause. Chemo brain AND menopause brain fog simultaneously (as well as the hot flashes).
The extra kicker was that my chemical menopause (very unusually and to the distress of my oncologist) reversed itself after my tamoxifen treatments ended; I had periods again for a couple of years and then started all over again with the menopause.
Obviously competing for Menopause Martyr Trophy here!