To ask women to share about perimenopause/menopause

[Mamabear04]

I've just read this article about perimenopause/menopause and it's made me realise I don't know anything about a major change that's going to happen to me over the next course of life!

Would others be able to tell about their experiences, advice (including how to deal with unhelpful health services) and encouragement that it will be OK?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-65532730

Got to 49 and had a couple of hot flushes and slightly less clockwork with periods, sometimes a bit heavier, skin not so much itchy as more sensitive to fabrics...trip to GP at 50, got patches, all fine again.

It's not all transfusions, thoughts of self harm and becoming incapable of function - the idea that I could be justifiably angry or upset about something and being patronised/dismissed as it being just my hormones and age is somewhat insulting and goes against all that women have fought for over the last 150 years - to not be seen as inadequate/unreliable due to their sexual organs.

I can't recall a time when I didn't know about menopause. That it could be hard & disruptive & broadly what most the symptoms might be. I'm always astonished at people who don't know anything about it.

Then again, my elderly dad seems to be astonished that he's getting old. Like who knew, right? That he might need to accommodate reduced mobility & slower reflexes after age 60... and 70... and 80... Dad seems dismayed & depressed at every new development. He got an anxiety diagnosis now.

His parents & my mother's parents weren't like this as they aged. They didn't seem surprised, terrifid, bewildered with their health issues at a similar stage of reduced mobility. Grumbled but mostly got on with it. Surely he could remember his own parents getting older, he noticed their experiences & might have expected similar & resolved to cope no matter what?

All that said, last 6 months of her life, My grandmother was in pain & often called out for Jesus to take her. My dad is nowhere that bad but he can obsess constantly about the health problms he does have, anyway.

That's me, unsympathetic hag I guess.
In other news, the Pope is Catholic & bears defecate in the woods.

Almost 55 here and still having periods. I really thought I'd be done with them by now,but no,I go from 6 to 8 months with nothing,then bam,out of the blue it arrives.
4 years prior to this I had a few very heavy periods,but no other symptoms. Now I have brittle nails,increasing facial hair and anxiety ( but I've always had anxiety so it's hard to know if this is my normal). I've felt rather warm some nights,but all this coincided with us moving to an eco house which is super insulated and very warm,after a lifetime of living in draughty,underheated houses,so that could be why, certainly not hot flushes like I've seen described.

If this is the extent,I'll consider myself very lucky. I've not looked into HRT because I don't think that I need it, plus have a family history of breast cancer,so it might not be worth the risk for me.

The only good part for me is that my periods are not so heavy.
My mental health was the first symptom. It went downhill fast to the point of suicidal ideation.
Night sweats, brain fog, muscle pain, heart palpitations, and hideous anxiety. I seemed to lose all my joy.
HRT has helped a few symptoms, but not all.
It can be really hard for some and a breeze for others.

i started to get symptoms like low moods and night sweats. Went on a healthy eating, exercise regime add this really worked for me. Not saying it would work everyone, but it definitely did for me.

I was 45. My first sign of menopause was a heavy ish period and that was the last one I had. About a year later I started with hot flushes. I saw a GP at that point and my fsh level was 118 which meant I was definitely post menopause. My symptoms were manageable and still are 6 years later so I’ve never taken HRT. The worst physical symptoms are hot flushes and night sweats, I don’t sleep well. Mentally the forgetfulness is annoying, not being able to remember every day words. I do have high stress levels but that’s always been the same.

Probably a silly question but if you are on the pill and one without breaks how do you know if your periods are changing and you are getting close to peri / menopause?

I have similar with Mirena. Honestly I don’t know for sure but my doc takes a symptom led approach and basically says try HRT and see if it makes a difference. If it does, great. If it doesn’t, stop taking it. It has definitely made a mental difference albeit there may be a bit of good old placebo in there somewhere.

Just to add some balance and to say that it is different for everyone.

My periods got further and further apart, and lighter and lighter.
I had warm glows rather than debilitating hot flushes
My sleep wasn't affected, I didn't get anxiety or brain fog.

However, I suffered from some horrendous migraines, which have now subsided.

Post menopause I have arthritis in one foot and much thinner hair, but otherwise I am fine.

for those of who who are struggling.

I'm worrying almost 'in reverse'! I've been fine with menopause so far (I've only just made it over the year without any periods into official menopause, and I'm 56 now). But I'm worrying that - even though it's been very straightforward, other than the odd hot moment here and there - I should be taking HRT anyway?

I haven't needed to go the GP because it just hasn't been necessary, but I read conflicting views on HRT, especially some that say you should go on it regardless of whether your symptoms warrant it.

Any knowledgeable ladies here know what I should do re HRT? Obviously, I'd like to keep my physical well-being as tip-top as possible, e.g. skin, hair, vaginal health/having a sex life etc without pain or dryness (especially as libido and enough lubrication is definitely still very much there, and I want to keep it that way!)

I'm just a bit confused as to what to do for the best - and I'm probably not the only one!

I'm nearly 46, think I've been perimenopausal for a year or 2. Main signs seem to be waking up a bit hot a sweaty sometimes, and a very annoying new kind of insomnia when I'm very tired and feel totally ready to sleep, but just can't drop off, or keep dropping off and waking up. It's hard to remedy and tends to come in two night stretches. Also sometimes getting really itchy palms, although that doesn't last long.

People are more likely to talk about it if they’ve had serious problems than if they haven’t. Apart from a few hot flushes, I didn’t experience much at all. Had some very erratic periods towards the end; dribble one month, flooding the next and wider gaps between before they stopped altogether. And it’s amazing how quickly you take having no periods for granted rather than appreciating it. I had no changes in mood, personality or levels of tiredness. I was never the most energetic or athletic person and have remained that way. Just seems the luck of the draw really.

I feel exactly the same, It wasn’t discussed at all before my hysterectomy and 7 years on despite hrt I look and feel like a zombie.

My cycles shortened from a regular 27 days to 22 days for a couple of years in my early forties. Then I started flooding. Using a mooncup, incontinence pad and sleeping on towels. 3 inch clots literally falling out. Strangely I had no pain, just profuse bleeding. D&C and hysteroscopy sorted that for about a year but it’s back now.
After years of refusing it, I’m getting a Mirena and staring estrogen patches at the same time. Hoping it helps.

The women in my family have had osteoporosis and broken bones very easily in their 60s and 70s so I really want to try to avoid that. I had a DEXA scan last year and all looked OK, hopefully that will continue.

I'm struggling and have gone on hrt recently.

I struggle with sleep, frequently needing a wee, itchy skin, moods, anxiety, achiness.

Also brain fog, can't concentrate or learn new stuff.

The only thing I don't get is hot flushes, or very rarely.

Also now have a short cycle for the first time ever.

There is a consultant in my local NHS trust who believes women shouldn’t come off HRT. Maybe have a read around HRT and its benefits at your age (I’ve read that these can change if HRT is started after the age of 60). One thing I would advise you look into is the use of topical estradiol for vaginal issues…wish I’d known about that years ago!!

I’m 45 and think I’m still in peri I guess? Going back 10 years I always had 28 day cycles (like clockwork) and very light periods. Period lasts 3 days (v occ 4 days and light flow). Now it’s a 24 day cycle (like clockwork) and very heavy with terrible period pain. Flow lasts anywhere from 3 days to 7 but the first 2 days are heavy as. Lots of ibuprofen. It kinda sucks having a heavy period that is almost every 3 weeks but then I feel like I had it good for most of my fertile life 😜

I’ve had my iron checked. (My brother has haemochromotosis.)

I don’t have any other symptoms except a crappy metabolism. But then I am on Saxenda so I am getting good weight loss. (I had weight gain during Covid from poor lifestyle choices)

Oh and I look like shit for the first time ever. Skin looks grey, stacked on a stone in last year, frizzy hair etc.

The frequently needing a wee has been one of the banes of my life. Started Vagifem a few weeks ago and the difference is amazing.

There are a lot of things I haven't experienced. Doesn't mean I don't believe in them or am dismissive of others' experiences.

I'm 54. My periods went absolutely bonkers about five years ago - so heavy, irregular, constant flooding. Then a host of other symptoms - brain fog, anxiety, hot flushes, night sweats, aching joints, insomnia, panic attacks. And tiredness - absolute bone deep exhaustion.

I've been on HRT for about two years - initially I felt a huge improvement, but that seems to have tapered off. I started on Evorel Conti patches, then when I didn't really feel they were helping any more had a Mirena coil fitted and use estrogel. After I had the coil fitted I bled continuously for three months but - fingers crossed - haven't had any bleeding now for about four months.

The brain fog and exhaustion are the worst things, I think. I'm a teacher, I've been a teacher for a long time and I'm good at it. I find myself standing in front of a class and my mind just goes blank. I forget words. I've always been absolutely shit hot at spelling, grammar, punctuation - not any more. I've no patience. I just don't want to do it any more. Not just work but everything - I have elderly, infirm parents; my dad has dementia. My kids, though older, still very much need me present - my eldest has SEN - and I just feel I have nothing left... I want to run away on a regular basis. I have no energy and no enthusiasm for anything.

In my experience (anecdotally and only speaking for myself, obviously) menopause sucks.

@ZaphodBeeblebroxArthurDent the thing I would think about is your bone health, as bone weakness is one thing that can go undiscovered until quite advanced. Do you have a family history of osteoporosis, hip fractures or breaks from trivial falls? There are questionnaires you can use to check your risk. If you are high risk then I'd push for a DEXA scan to understand your current bone health - HRT can help here. Weight bearing exercise that stresses the bones in different ways is good for bones and general health.

My experience was just the same, though I didn't even see a GP about it.