To ask women to share about perimenopause/menopause

[Mamabear04]

I've just read this article about perimenopause/menopause and it's made me realise I don't know anything about a major change that's going to happen to me over the next course of life!

Would others be able to tell about their experiences, advice (including how to deal with unhelpful health services) and encouragement that it will be OK?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-65532730

Sorry to hear how bad it has been for you! And I agree that other women should not be so dismissive. It reminds me of women who say people should not discuss or complain about periods or use it as an excuse for a sick day, when everyone’s experience is very different and some women have endometriosis or severe cramps and migraines, etc.

It’s very helpful that women are more open about perimenopause — there are so many symptoms that no one used to talk about or understand were related to perimenopause. If not for all the information sharing, it would be a very scary and lonely experience.

I couldnt agree more. I had a lot of the same symptoms, rage, mood swings, terrible anxiety, feelings of doom, no motivation, difficulty falling asleep, terrible strange feelings in my body some nights, terribly painful and heavy period. I just wasnt right. I tracked my symptoms and went to GP. He suggested my issues was low progesterone only and he felt my estrogen levels were ok (I agreed as had googled low progesterone and had many of the symptoms and none of the low estrogen ones).
He started me on the mini pill (progesterone only) and symptoms were 95% gone within a few days. I am three months on it and feel so much better and no periods is an amazing bonus.

Hot flushes at about 42, went on prozac for 5 years (it's not licensed for use in hot flushes but it does work, however it borked my libido seriously). Periods started to become very erratic at 48. Have always been heavy, got heavier, but not always. A real nuisance, some days I can't go out. Hot flushes really really bad now I'm 50. Have had brain fog for about 2 years. No vaginal dryness and am now completely feral in terms of libido, which is surprising, and a little inconvenient. Mentally it has not always been a walk in the park. Started to get terrible anxiety and depression. Put on weight I cannot lose easily. HRT - the progesterone component gave me (and pretty much all my friends!) suicidal thoughts. It's a case of tweaking it but I haven't been back, so am freestyling it. Motivation is a problem. I've also found my caring instinct has lessened considerably. I would like people around me to look after themselves entirely, and to look after me a little as I feel I can't do that as well as I used to. I've become needier, which is a hard thing for me personally to deal with.

"I do wish some women would stop being cunts to other women who are suffering." (Movineghouseatlast)

AMEN!

OP, people's experiences are all different, so all you will get is anecdotes. My periods stopped when I was 56. I am not convinced about "perimenopause" as a thing, as I have had no indication of it. No symptoms at all through the whole process, just normal ageing stuff like occasionally feeling knackered and being grumpy 😂
Not everyone needs medication, either prescribed or over the counter - yes, some do, but be wary of over-medicalisation and commercial companies trying to make a fast buck.

Brain fog and moods horrendous. HRT has been known to prevent alzheimers and osteoporosis so I have been taking it.

Anyone who thinks they don't " need" HRT should think about their bone density even of they have no symptoms.

I'm 40 and some perimenopause symptoms started for me last year. My sleep is atrocious, my skin the worst it has ever been (I hardly had zits when I was a teen so I guess this is payback), and my periods are getting more painful (but at least not heavier). I am angry almost all the time, and forgetful.

I'd very much appreciate not having 10 years of this, but think I'll be out of luck,

I do wish people who hadn't noticed menopause would say that with the proviso that their experience is not really the norm.

I say this because my stepmother sailed through it and my father now thinks I'm a blithering malingerer. It's hard enough to communicate women's realities to men.

” I am not convinced about "perimenopause" as a thing, as I have had no indication of it.”
🙄

I knew I was in perimenopause when I got up one morning, and looked down, to see a pool of blood that was running down both legs, into my slippers, and onto the carpet. It was like one of those scenes in a noir movie where someone gets shot in a car park. The circle of blood just kept getting bigger as I worked out how to get to the bathroom without leaving a trail of blood the whole way there.

It is good to remember the evolutionary purpose of the menopause is to give us the time and energy to contribute to the care of grandchildren. We would not have survived as a species if it generally left grandmother's incapacitated.

This was me before perimenopause, tampons absolutely no use. slipped down with contractions, leaked (so had to wear a pad as well) insertion (foot on loo) drip drip, blood on hands.

Anyone who said I needed to shove them up further made me 🙄as they were up as far as they went; the vagina is an infinite space.

Showering? Well at leasr the rest of me was clean.

I gave up on them and stuck to pads, now wear period pants (with a pad if going through a heavy stage)

I wonder if those who had an awful time when menstual, will have an easier time when peri or menopausal? Or vice versa?

I am 53, I had my last period at around age 48. I always had heavy and quite painful periods, regular as clockwork every 28 days. For the last two years they became lighter, shorter, less painful and more spaced out. It was wonderful, even better when they stopped altogether.

I did not have any other symptoms, maybe the odd hot flush, but actually I was always a little not prone to over heating and I am not even sure it was much different. Of course there could be other than that have happened to my body, that I don’t really know about yet, like doesn’t bone density change. But otherwise, nope no difference at all. It was a breeze and arguably, better.

@hbh17 You're not not sure you believe in perimenopause??! Because you haven't had any signs of it?

That is by far the most ignorant thing I've ever seen on here.

How about diabetes? Pmdd? Clinical depression? Assuming you don't suffer with any of these, does this make them not real too?

Comical.

Terrible. I had no idea I was in peri, the meno hit me like a train.

Tried to go "natural" which was stupid then HRT was a game changer. After 9 months I then started a little testosterone too.

HRT is bloody amazing.

but I think it likely is the norm, to many women it is a total non event, it is hard to know how many because it is only women having problems that search up menopause websites, etc. In real life, it just doesn't come up in conversation between and friends and me- periods were the bane of our lives, and discussed constantly - but none of us have really have anything to say about the menopause- except "Thank God for that"
One of my friends gets itchy, one of my friends had hot flushes. These two are on HRT. That's is it really, everyone else that I know about is not on HRT. My sister had hot flushes decades ago when she went through the menopause at 21, and depression, but I think the depression was from knowing she could never have her own genetic child. She has never taken HRT either, although she does have bone density scans because her menopause was so early, and she might go on HRT at some stage.

Isn’t everybody commenting on this thread, commenting about their own experience? Why should the people that are commenting that their experience wasn’t too bad, need to say so with a caveat?

I had an easy experience and I have no idea whether it was the norm or wasn’t as I haven’t studied it.

But it does seem that women who have not had a difficult menopause need to keep quiet about it! I generally don’t even dare to post on these threads because whenever somebody, like me, who found it easy, dares to say so, they are usually either accused of lying or are otherwise ripped to shreds.

I think I will go back to my usual rule of not bothering to post on “what your experience of menopause” threads.

Going though the onset of peri atm and have been for a few months.

Periods all over the place and heavy
VERY emotional! Tearful!
Weight gain that I cannot shift!
Night sweats are the bane of my life!

High heart rate issues/ hot flushes/ fainting

I've had the mirena coil out in about three weeks ago now, I am hoping to god this helps!

Menopause at 56 which is quite late. Hardly any symptoms unless I had sugar which I don't often so may be that is why it was better not worse than having periods. I never imagined it would be so easy. My mother has a difficult one. Since I as 40 people had been joking to me about it and yet I then had 16 years from age 40 before I was in it! I do realise I am very lucky.

I’m 50, my main problem in perimenopause, has been horrendous spotting and low moods .

Another easy experience here. Periods were always light and pretty much regular until they stopped. No notable symptoms either during peri or post menopause. I'm very fit and active, body weight within the normal range, take care to eat well and generally lead a very relaxed, stress free lifestyle - obviously I can't say how much these were contributing factors.

non at all, I expect

I think it is just luck.

Fat and unfit here, and very stressed at the time! and the menopause was better than the rest of adulthood, with periods to deal with. An improvement on NOT being menopausal, definitely.

I'm 48 - my periods started being a bit weird at 42. I'd start to get spotting maybe 5 days before the periods then a few days of dreadful PMT and cramps and then a period. Sometimes I'd have really short cycles, other times not. I was starting to feel like my life revolved around my periods! I've also had many episodes of flooding in my 40s - I wear tampons for the heaviest flow and night time towels at the same time. Still I'll get these huge and sudden gushes of blood that soak straight through the tampon, towel, my underwear and clothes. Fortunately it's generally happened at home, at night. I've sometimes woken up with my pyjama bottoms, the sheets and mattress just saturated in blood. It happened twice at work (same day) but each time I raced to the toilet and sorted myself out before it had soaked my clothes. It doesn't happen every cycle. Two months ago I had 2 really alarming episodes of flooding and clots (at night) but then my last period was quite light. My biggest fear is it happening very obviously in public.
My other perimenopausal symptoms are anxiety that comes and goes. Hair getting dry and frizzy. A flat mood, lack of excitement. I'm definitely not depressed, I feel pretty content but I'm flat. I'm also tired and have lots of aches and pains. I sometimes get vertigo and I heard that was related to perimenopause too.
I'm making it sound awful but all these symptoms come and go. Often I feel perfectly normal! And despite all the above, I'm happy and I'm enjoying life. I don't yet feel the need for HRT.
I think I'll go to the doctor about the flooding though.

@Nevermay I would agree - my mum had a similarly easy experience and she was overwight with a very high pressure demanding job when she went through menopause. I'd always hoped I would be as lucky as she was so I'm very grateful.

Mine wasn't too bad at all. Last period at 51, but they had been tailing off for a few years in the run up to that. I had some hot flushes and night sweats, but nothing excessive. My worse symptom was dry eyes, which made them water all the time ( sounds counter intuitive, but is a thing), but that was temporary. I also became more assertive (or bolshy as my mum liked to say). All in all, it was fine. My poor mum on the other hand had hot flushes well into her late 70s.

My mam and MIL will both tell you they had no menopause symptoms , their families beg to differ! We could all see the massive mood swings, the irrationality, the rage, etc but they look back with rose tinted glasses and believe they sailed through it.

My mam needed a D&C for heavy continuous bleeding at about age 52/53. I mentioned during one of these conversations that it was a peri menopause issue, that was a light bulb moment, she didnt link the two.
She thinks because she didnt have night sweats and hot flushes that she didnt experience perimenopause/menopause.