To ask if you’ve got a big family how do you get by?

[Schnitzelvonkrummm]

I guess Big is relative, but say 3 kids +. How do you afford it?

how do you holiday? And how much does it cost?

what’s your house like? Does each child have their own room?

i wonder if the majority of big families are on mega bucks (or so to speak) like 70k+ each? Then how do you have time for it all?

i was mindlessly scrolling on insta as you do and came across the Collins kids, 10 kids and open to more (now they philosophy behind it is a bit wonky to me but won’t get into that) and the mum was saying people assume that they have a mansion and are super duper wealthy but they aren’t, they are average and they just make it work and her husband works very hard. My guess is that they have to be a bit above average at least but still.

I know a couple of families on annual incomes of nigh on a million. I’d count that as ‘large’!

Oh and we don't drink either which I'm sure saves us a lot!

As would I!

but it’s interesting because some might describe as a household gross income of 100k large but others might put it more around just above average

We have 3 by accident (surprise twins). Both earn well but it was a tight couple of years when the twins were babies and I wasn't working. The credit cards got hammered and I didn't get on a plane for nearly 3 years (proper travelholic before that, including with DC1). We managed by living abroad (MUCH cheaper than U.K., lots of free outdoor stuff to do), cutting right back on our travel, and dipping into savings.

I went back to work full time when the twins turned 3 and that's got us back into a fairly comfortable lifestyle again. First proper family holiday abroad next year and hoping to go long haul the year after. However we're still abroad and that makes a big difference. In the U.K. I think we would be much worse off.

No wealth would make me have more than 2/3. Not because of the younger years but because of the teen years. I have found that these years are the ones which require the most parental attention and emotional space. And that cannot be outsourced to a nanny.

We have 5 and DHs salary is good (somewhere around £55k) I don't work at the moment. We are able to send the kids to any extra curricular activities they want to do and we usually do a couple of parkdean weekends and one bigger holiday a year (we did a eurocamp in France this year that cost less than £1000)

We are lucky that we live in the north east and have a detached 4 bed house in a very good area that only cost £184k, I don't think that would be possible in most parts of the country and means that our mortgage is manageable.

We have 3 dc, which I wouldn't class as a large family - above average, but I'd think of at least 4 dc if I was asked to think what is a large family.

We're fortunate to earn well, household income £300k+. DH works ft and I'm a sahm with unearned income. We live in a 4 bed house in London and 2 dcs are in private school. No childcare needed although we've paid for some summer camp activities to keep them busy, and youngest isn't in school but we pay for lots of premium toddler classes and activities. We do lots of extracurriculars, eldest does 6, though most are just after school on site so not too tiring.

We go on a few holidays a year, usually going to the US every 1-2 years to visit family and one other overseas trip, plus short breaks to Butlins, city breaks etc. We spend a lot of money on leisure activities and entertainment - theatre, concerts, attractions.

We get a Tesco shop delivered weekly. Not much eating out though, the dcs aren't really interested in it.

I agree that the teen years they do seem to need you even more. I've never found it a problem though. You just need to make sure you're available by making them a priority.

Our household income is £55k, so after tax etc it's £40k per year. I'd imagine on 25k and with UC, child benefit and DLA on top they are probably coming out with not much less than we are.

I’m sort of assuming that anyone with a big house either has lots of money, inheritance, or is somewhere v cheap? I’d have loved more children but (a) partner left, and (b) knew couldn’t afford it even if he hadn’t. Eg am in a tiny two-up, two-down house with a minuscule bathroom, still cost more than half a million (which to me is loads and my mortgage is terrifying!) Three bed houses round here range from £700k for something actually pretty small, to £1m+ for a nice 3 bed semi.

None of those options applied to us. We did some extra jobs to earn extra money for a deposit, we knew we couldn't ever afford a house where we lived, so we moved two hours away from family to where we could afford a detached 5 bedroom house with garden (we built on an extra room later for six bedrooms) and filled it. Moving helped meet our goals without being too far from family.

@Dramatic I agree.

We have 6. The age gap helps - the eldest 3 are all Uni age, the younger 3 are young teen, preteen and primary age. We didn’t plan to have 6 - the last two were conceived on the injection and coil! But we make it work.

We have/had three large advantages on top of DH being a high earner (he’s on 85k which I’ve been told before on here isn’t a high earner, but to me and where we live it is). DH was widowed and his wife’s insurance paid off the mortgage in his house and it was big enough for us all so when I sold mine to move in the little bit of profit went into creating more space here. So, even with building an extension we’ve had no housing costs for a long time. That makes a huge difference.

We have amazing family support. PIL used to collect the kids from school regularly, and grandparents all are the type that life spending time with the grandkids (MIL currently has DD4 away for the weekend for example) which massively helped with us having time with them individually.

Before I gave up work to care for our youngest due to her needs I worked in schools. So holiday childcare was never an an issue. And that saved a fortune - obviously my pay reflected it, but it still worked out brilliantly in logistic terms.

Yes you're probably right, we're in the north east and £700k would get you a huge house, like practically a mansion. In fact there isn't a single house in my town that's worth as much as that

Discussed this thread with a friend, especially 'big family income'. She said she thinks roughly minimum wage+5-10k per child.

That is still a low salary to us, we have 5 children so it would be 80k. That would be difficult but not impossible for us to live on, but our income is much higher.

It's all relative- some manage on minimum wage with 3+ children, others in the same situation end up in debt/ill.