To ask if you’ve got a big family how do you get by?

[Schnitzelvonkrummm]

I guess Big is relative, but say 3 kids +. How do you afford it?

how do you holiday? And how much does it cost?

what’s your house like? Does each child have their own room?

i wonder if the majority of big families are on mega bucks (or so to speak) like 70k+ each? Then how do you have time for it all?

i was mindlessly scrolling on insta as you do and came across the Collins kids, 10 kids and open to more (now they philosophy behind it is a bit wonky to me but won’t get into that) and the mum was saying people assume that they have a mansion and are super duper wealthy but they aren’t, they are average and they just make it work and her husband works very hard. My guess is that they have to be a bit above average at least but still.

I have 4 children now. We rent, 1 income around 25,000, UC top up. 2 currently in nursery but going down to 1 soon as then there will be 2 in school. Our rental is technically a 3 bed, the 3rd is a playroom/bedroom for the eldest but he won't use it. They like to share a bed never mind a room. I have the youngest with me as he is under 6 months.
We have many trips every year to places like London, Legoland, Alton towers with our Merlin Passes, and a European holiday every year also.
We save so that the kids dont go without and get regular day trips out and presents, in fact they are admittedly spoilt. But we don't have nights out as parents, infact we are never away from them, we have 0 support of family help so there is no one to take them. 1 is ND and 1 has health issues. I don't drink alcohol or smoke and my partner drinks a minimal amount so that we can prioritise providing for the kids.
Everyone has different priorities in life

@Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily can I ask if you are affected by the benefit cap? You mention you have 1 dc who is ND so perhaps they get DLA? It seems implausible that £25k stretches to holidays abroad, many day trips etc. I'm not judging BTW, I'm on full benefits myself (carer).
From what I've seen it's not the parenting that these large families love, it's being pregnant and having a newborn (I'm talking about the really big families, 8+ dc). When I had my 3rd I don't think I had to buy anything, just used whatever I already had. These families go mad buying baby clothes (and they seem to have an obsession with personalized clothes), decorating nurseries and new prams every time. The baby very much seems to be an exciting accessory.

I love all ages. They just have to start as babies. :-)

Lower expectations and it depends on what you want for your child's future! What's important to me might not be to you.

Agree with @feralunderclass too. There must be some other money coming in somewhere. Day trips to Alton towers and London are not cheap even to travel to those places and tickets for 4 DC on 25k there's no way! I'm a mum of 1 DC and I'm struggling to believe this. It's likely you get additional benefits.

He does get DLA but we still get a big chunk taken off for earnings and carers and other caps that we aren't exempt of. Our abroad holiday this year is 10 nights in a lodge in France which has cost us £600.

We have 2 full time kids and DSS here about 40 % of the time. We have a 3 bed house but luckily the master bedroom was big enough to split so we essentially have 3 box rooms for each of the kids and a double for me and DP.

we earn a combined income of 70 k. The 2 younger ones are preschool age so in full time nursery ( older one has his 30 free hours). We holiday at a very cheep campsite in North Devon. And occasionally flights back to my family in ireland. To be honest we are not coping, we are threading water and will likely end up further into credit cards and overdrafts but my 3 yo will start school next year and the babies free hours will start to kick in next September so I'm seeing a point we won't be flat broke

I am fascinated by large families and agree with a PP that most i personally know tend to be either very rich or very poor. We are in a private school a d there are quite a few families that have 3 or more children.

I watch some US based youtubers who also tend to be Christian Fundamentalist / homeschooling / home steading types. I love watching these. Usually home and free birthers as well and 7 plus children. (My favourite youtuber has 9). I love watching how they manage a large family; manage food etc

I love watching this but it's not what i want for my life, or my Dcs lives. We were lucky in that we had the right number for us that also meant we could still afford holidays abroad, a nice lifetsyle (although TBH COL has hit us as well). But I really enjoy learning how other people live and what their values are.

We have 5. I'm a SAHM, and have been since pregnant with our first. We also home educate, so no nursery or child care fees to pay out. We have a 5 bed house, but are now looking for a 6 bed so they can all have their own space. We haven't been on holiday as a family of 7 yet, but when we do we obviously know it'll be expensive, depending on what we do or where we go. We live to our means, don't have any debt apart from our mortgage, which at the moment is very reasonable, though will increase with the interest rate at the end of our fixed term. My husbands wage is plenty to support us all, though it has only been as high as it is now for the past year, so previously, he was on a very modest wage.

We get DLA for him but we are just careful about how we spend and where we book. Stay further out from London and tube in. Merlin Passes are paid monthly and means that all our theme park trips are free, we don't stay over a Alton as its only a couple of hours away. And 2 of the DC Are below 3.

“we are just careful about how we spend and where we book”

Sorry, I’m not trying to create a pile on but just being careful is not enough to make £25k stretch to everything you are describing. You must be paying a fair bit every month on Merlin passes for 4 plus the two young ones.

Alton Towers being a couple of hours away from you means 4 hours of fuel for a large car to go for a day out.

The holiday lodge in France might be £600 but did that include travel and food costs? What about days out while there or did you just stay at the lodge for 10 days?

I don’t want others to feel like they are doing something wrong because they can’t afford regular expensive days out and holidays and presents by just cutting back on alcohol and cigarettes. Dropping a £6 bottle of wine from your weekly shop is not going to pay for the lifestyle you are describing.

I'm a single parent to 4 kids was 6 but 2 are adults/left home.

I live in a council house and do rely on benefits. I have 2 children with disability/special needs I do get some child maintenance.

I don't smoke or drink , I don't go out kid free.

Clothing are bought from primark or vinted /other cheap places.

I have family rail card so we can do beach days . Parks . Free city farms. We can get discounts carer gos free etc. I often check ebay for Chessington tickets. Bowling, cinema.

We have only ever Been on holiday once in the UK. My kids did not like it to be honest. They are much happier with days out.

With Xmas I start shopping/saving in July.

With gas /electricity I pay so much each week so I never have a big billvwheh it comes in.

There's always food in the cupboards

I was assuming meant 25k plus UC top up and child benefit so if rent within the LHA then can see how can be done if careful with money. I know families half the size of ours that spend far more on eating out/takeaways each week than we do on our entire weekly food budget. Was very amusing how surprised they were at how much more money they were left with each month during the pandemic

We have 3 kids.

We don't have a massive income. We are comfortable though. But nowhere near 70k!! And I don't work (currently). I will probably go back to work hopefully this year. It's not desperately needed at the moment, but I would like to.

DC1 is much older (teenager) which does make things easier as we don't have to worry about childcare for him as he can look after himself. We are also living abroad and childcare is significantly cheaper - we have two pre school children, one under 3, in full time nursery for about €600 a month.

TBH we were on a very very low income when DC1 was tiny so it does not feel constrained to us. We rent, but our flat is spacious, the younger two share a large bedroom, our living room is also much larger than a UK one. Separate rooms has never really been a priority to me as I grew up sharing a room with my sister, I think it's nice for younger children to share. By the time the older two are teenagers and wanting their own space, it's likely that DC1 will have moved out.

We don't really holiday. Most years we try to drive back to the UK. This has become a lot more expensive since having DC2 and 3 because we now have to pay for accommodation rather than just sleeping in someone's spare room. Our family don't really have space anyway. Also since COVID the prices of accommodation have skyrocketed, so this is an issue. Other than this we do not really holiday. We have a holiday booked this summer, which is the first one we have been on since 2016 and the second holiday ever as a family. We will be staying in an AirBnB and self-catering.

I don't know the Collins family but you have to take everything on Instagram with a pinch of salt. It's mostly made up for views. Also there are some very strange religious sects which insist on loads of kids and try to use social media as a way to recruit more people (!) (I don't know if they are part of this but no idea).

We are a family of 8, 6 kids, 2 adults. We live in 4 bed house. We will be moving soon however to a 6 bed.... Two kids per bedroom is fine and manageable. Open to having more children(perhaps one more maximum) as we work hard and can afford it.

I work part time from home. Hubby has 3 jobs. He works hard on his own businesses as well as employed within a sector in the NHS. We make it work, have time for them.

We are not mega rich but we live comfortably. I still budget my food shopping and meal plan. I don't like going over the top. I like to treat the kids and reward them. We are very religious also, but not Christian. Very happy and love having a busy house and the kids get on well.

I do get sick of being told I am mad and how do I afford and spend time one on one !
But we do make it work and the kids are happy and that's what counts!

@BertieBotts wow what kind of religion is that, sounds so bizzare!!!

Westboro Baptist Church for one example. Look up Megan Phelps-Roper. She has written and spoken extensively of her experiences after leaving them as an adult.

-just to add

We holiday only in the UK
Have an 8 seater car
Home school only one child. The rest go to school and the baby is always with me.
No help from a nanny or grandparents
Eldest is a teen and youngest is a baby.

we both have jobs, me border line pt ft, kids share rooms, first holiday was when youngest was 6 and now we go every two years but we do lots of hikes/days at the beach! Kids don’t do activities, I get hair done once a year, don’t go to beauticians or get new clothes. Kids sometimes wear hand me downs. We live in the country in and old house but on an acre. We’ve been poor poor but are out of that now thank goodness! We’ve always been happy and it’s always been more about that than having stuff. As someone said the toughest thing is eg a trip to the cinema which is a hugely rare occurrence and we don’t do theme parks (but have been to euro Disney!!)

We have 5 , all now teens ! It's just brilliant now they are bigger . We have a high income but Dublin is very expensive .
We holiday and travel a lot and like really nice places.
Spend ALL our money on it .
Now mortgage free , modest house in a fab area , drive old cars . Both have very good pensions so I just live for every moment . Main expenses after basic ones are music lessons and holidays . Holidays cost a LOT . Summer this year was 12 k minimum . Skiing is the same . Food is another huge expense ( 4 of the 5 are boys !!)
Don't eat out much in Dublin , don't buy many clothes/ much make up . House needs some cosmetic love but while the boys continue to play football inside it seems futile.......
We ski every year , do nice hotels AI, villas , many weekends in London - obsessed by musicals !!!
Never know what's coing down the track .

We 'do' a lot of theme parks too. Coming over to Thorpe in September !!

We have a high income but people probably don't realise that because we aren't into flashy stuff like new cars and we don't tend to brag about our jobs. And our jobs enable us to do school pickup etc so people might not even realise we work full time. We have a big house but if people don't know that I expect they assume we don't earn above average

The children get heaps of attention, they all get 1:1 time, what we "gave up" I guess is time for ourselves, although now they are getting older we are getting back that

few posters have said they have a large family and a large family income, what do we define as a large family income here?

We prioritise activities (clubs, music lessons, sports , dance, days out etc) and holidays but we aren't really into "stuff" so our kitchen is fairly ancient and our tv isn't flash and most of our furniture is second hand.

I have 4 DC. Our income is about 53k a year if you include child benefit. We live in a 3 bed council house which has enabled us to save a deposit for a 4 bedroom house that we are buying. We do live in a cheapish area of the country though. We only have one car and generally have a big holiday every few years. (Florida this year!) We don't have any family help. We definitely aren't well off but we have no real debt (well 2k on a interest free credit card) and I don't feel like we miss out on anything. I think it helps that dH and I are both low maintenance. I don't get my nails, hair, eyebrows ect done and neither of us have expensive hobbies or gym membership. We have national trust memberships which we use a lot for days out too.