Used to have a FWB situation with a man over a period of about 5 years. It started as sex, but over the years, the benefits became very much secondary to the friendship, and he became one of my closest friends. We did sometimes get silly after a few drinks, but not that often in the end.
Then he got into a serious relationship and distanced himself. I've been there myself the other way around. So I was a bit miffed but I understood and was happy he was happy.
I haven't heard from him in 6 months and he called me out the blue to meet for a drink yesterday.
Turns out his GF had upped and left him over night, a couple of weeks back. He came home from a work trip and all her stuff was gone. It sounds horrendous.
Without a doubt he called me thinking a rebound shag would make him feel better (I don't judge him for that, it's very normal to want validation and intimacy a break-up) but instead I forced him to sit down and talk, and he ended up just pouring his heart out for hours. He's completely heartbroken.
I felt absolutely nothing for him except empathy and sadness as his friend. He'd clearly not had a good chance to talk it through with anyone and was so confused and in pain. He's not been eating or sleeping well. I've never seen him like this. Needless to say he didn't get anything from me except a lot of hugs and a listening ear.
He's got to go and cat sit for his parents in Devon for the weekend and asked if I'd go with him, as he was dreading being there alone.
I don't have anything else on and he clearly needs someone to drag him out the house for some air, make sure he eats some proper dinner and let him talk and cry and muddle through it all.
Our relationship has two such distinct sides to it though, that I'm torn.
The friend side of me feels like it's absolutely the right thing to do. He's very dear to me and he's in pain and I'd do it for any one of my female friends, even if they'd been a rubbish friend while they'd been loved-up. I have no doubt that just being there for some company and to make sure he's not wallowing, will absolutely help him get through the worst of it.
The side of me that used to sleep with him though, and knows he also thinks a rebound shag will make him feel better, feels a bit icky about it (although I've got no right to be self righteous about it as I've called on him for the same reason before).
I realise I don't have to sleep with him even if I do go, so it's not the act of it itself, but more just feeling that that part of our past makes it feel a bit less 'above board', to go and spend the weekend with him.