AIBU to think there should be something we can do about bullies

[TiredMum30]

My 12 year old daughter started secondary last Sept, she's been relentlessly bullied by the same group of boys and a few girls throughout the whole school year. We've been constantly on at the school but nothing has really been done other than they've had "words" with them, the occasional "sanctions" and the school have said they've spoken to their parents but it's continued.
We live near a large park that has a skatepark inside, most days during the holidays we've been going to the park with the dog and my DD uses the skatepark, some times this group of kids who have been bullying her have been there, but while I'm there they've mostly kept their distance from her. Maybe about 5 times I've been unable to go but have been at home so only a few min walk away so my DD has gone with her sister. A couple of times these kids have also been there and have proceeded to harass my DD and attempted to grab her skateboard out from underneath her or ran off with it and thrown it, they never bother her sister whose also in the same year. I have turned up each time and they've all ran off as soon as they've seen me approaching but the last time she went with her sister there was a physical altercation between my DD and another girl, but ultimately it came down to her word against my DD's unfortunately. My daughter was hurt.

AIBU to think that my 12 year old daughter should be able to safely go to our local park like other children her age without being harassed and bullied? And AIBU to think there should be something that can be done about them? Surely they can't just do as they please with no repercussions? I'm tempted to get the police involved however I don't want to make it worse for my DD. I've even considered switching schools or moving out of the area so she can start afresh but that would mean uprooting our other 2 children, 1 of which is taking his gcses next year. I'm just at a loss as what to do 😔

Goslowgloworm
The victims should always be the priority. I just don't understand why this isn't the case.

100%

This is what I've been trying to say in my posts. Take the focus off the bullies and ensure that everyone prioritises their victims. There's too much hand-wringing about 'understanding' bullies. In the real world, some people are just nasty and need stopping.

If there are actually issues which need addressing in the bullies' own lives, then that should come a definite second to stopping their crimes and supporting the innocent victim.

Don't know why you don't want police involved. It's only going to continue to escalate. So a visit from police might be whats needed. In any event try and log every incident, date, time, details, witnesses , etc

I'm sorry, Father Jack, but I just don't care. I'm not interested in any of this - I think the attention should be taken off bullies and focused on their victims.

I would explain it as follows: the human race contains some individuals who are psychopathic and even sadistic. Sometimes this is innate (look at Jeremy Bamber - very privileged upbringing - and others). I know it's not fashionable to believe some people are born bad, but I think they are. It's about power and 'the will to power', an important human motivation.

No, Coffee, I completely agree with you - and I think we're actually on the same page about this.

My post was in response to somebody calling it a 'myth' that only a certain kind of person from a disadvantaged background would be a bully. I know that anybody, from any background, can choose to be a bully; I was trying to say (maybe clumsily) that any child IS disadvantaged if they have parents who merrily let them bully other children - but that's still neither here nor there when it comes to the need to prevent their behaviour in any way necessary.

As you say, the bully's needs are very much secondary to those of their victims. I don't care about the bullies either - let them get whatever help they need (whether from school, parents, third party professionals, in prison or whatever) - but the focus must always be square on centring the victim and their needs to not be victimised.

Just like with cases of domestic violence or abuse, the instant solution must always be to take the perpetrator out of the picture, to prioritise and safeguard the victim.

Take the focus off the bullies and ensure that everyone prioritises their victims.

Problem is, that bullies AND victims can be exactly the same kids. It becomes the endless "who started first", and the one who screams the loudest becomes the victim everyone is feeling sorry for.