To be pissed off when people assume my father is my partner?

[catsaregods]

My father is 22 years older than me. Ever since I was very early 20s, people have assumed I am his wife or partner.

For example when I was just 20 we were sat next to each other on the train, and a man on the other side said if my dad is my husband When asking to swap seats. When we have been travelling in foreign countries there have been 'lucky man' comments from locals.

I went shopping with my dad as he was going to buy me a special present for a big birthday, and the cashier also assumed I was his girlfriend!

I get very pissed off about it. Maybe this is a common problem with having youngish parents?

My mum and dad were both 21 when I was born.
they also look young for their ages now at 66 and me 45.

i remember years ago going to a bed shop to pick a new bed out for my Nan and the sales assistant suggesting we both try it out for comfort 😂 also once in Asda when a cashier said something about him being my husband.

I had my ds when I was 25, he’s now 20. There was one instance last year where someone thought we were a couple. He was bloody mortified. It happens!

I sympathise. My brother had to explain the word "catamite" to my dad when they stayed in a B&B when they went away for a trip together. Very awkward.

It doesn't help that they didn't look alike.

My solution was to call him Dad frequently in public and to the wait staff.
I’ve not heard the term “wait staff”
is it a regional thing?

Even worse if you are older and they think your kid is your grandkid and your daughter is its mum.

My Dad was 50 years old when I was born.

It never bothered me what other people thought, he was called my Grandad on multiple occasions.

My Dad had me at 18, it’s one of those things people can be unsure, especially as he also looks far younger than he is (wish I’d inherited that) . My Mums husband is also only 5 years older than me - a couple of times if I’m just out with the 2 of them you can tell people aren’t sure who belongs to who!

We usually just laugh it off. Not worth being pissed off.

Yes, I get this too. My Dad is nineteen years older than me. It does annoy me. The worst was at my husbands funeral, when one of his cousins came up and snapped 'well, it didn't take you long to move on, Neil's not cold in the ground.' I just glared and said 'allow me to introduce my father.' No apology, of course.

And I just remembered that it now happens that people sometimes mistake me for my son's partner. That's truly mortifying.

This once happened to me in an art gallery when I was 19 and my father was 56! It was so strange!

My mother and I were also mistaken for sisters once when we were around 17 and 47. That was a weird one too.

I can see how it would be annoying if it happens a lot.

My parents were both 22 when I was born, this has never happened, but then as an adult I have never lived near them so I guess there have been comparatively few opportunities.

There's 24 years between me and my dad and I used to get this from about 21. I understand why it pisses you off 💐 it's gross to think of being with your dad and for such age differences in relationships to be so normalised between men and women is creepy as fuck. My (older) brothers have never been mistaken for my mums partners despite a smaller age gap between them 🤷‍♀️

This used to happen to my mum with my eldest brother.
There was a 21 year age gap.

I’ve had this since I was a teenager. Still get it now I’m in my 30’s and my dad is in his 60’s. Doesn’t piss me off, I don’t care. People are word to make the assumption, just ignore them.

Eh... I have young (teen) parents and never had this issue at all.

I was also a teen parent myself and never had that issue (although in my teen/early 20s occasionally was accuse of being his sister).

People assume people are romantic partners based on body language and actions more than anything. That why you don't get mistaken for being married to every male friend, co-worker, family member you have etc... (I mean it could happen by accident once or so but not constantly).

Id be more worried about the inappropriate vibes at least one of you must be given of for this to be such a regular occurrence.

It is so much more common to see older men with younger women these days and people are really offended when you ask couples with age disparities if they are father and daughter. I have also seen young kids on public transport being told very kindly to hold onto their grandad only to have them retort. He's not my grandad he's my dad.

I suppose the solution is to assume nothing and keep your mouth shut until you know what the situation is.

Maybe train your mind to think positively about it. You're in a position to have a strong relationship with your father, (young looking or not) Some don't - fact!
When a comment is made or you feel like you're getting annoyed - smile and count your blessings:)

On two separate occasions, a friend of mine has been asked if she is my mum. She is 2 years younger than me!

I have younger siblings 10 and 12 years younger than me. I used to babysit them when I was about 17 and would get mistaken for their mother. So strange. I remember being disgusted.

Someone at a ticket office thought my sonIL was my husband and my DD (his wife) was our child .... DD not amused! I was just chuffed to get her in at half price!

This is so true.

Sadly we are still not as used to seeing fathers having such close and affectionate relationships with their kids as we are to seeing men with young partners - in films and on the telly at least.

My step daughter gets the same when out with her dad. My husband is 19 years older. He does look young for his age but even now at 32 and 51 some people have assumed he’s her boyfriend. She thinks it’s funny, her dad doesn’t 😂

My mum's been mistaken for my girlfriend quite a few times, she was 24 when she had me.

I'm female, neither of us is gay.

Meh, my dad is 30 years older than me (so pretty much average and not particularly young parental age) and this has happened a handful of times. Just correct people and move on!