To be pissed off when people assume my father is my partner?

[catsaregods]

My father is 22 years older than me. Ever since I was very early 20s, people have assumed I am his wife or partner.

For example when I was just 20 we were sat next to each other on the train, and a man on the other side said if my dad is my husband When asking to swap seats. When we have been travelling in foreign countries there have been 'lucky man' comments from locals.

I went shopping with my dad as he was going to buy me a special present for a big birthday, and the cashier also assumed I was his girlfriend!

I get very pissed off about it. Maybe this is a common problem with having youngish parents?

I used to have this and my father was 33 years older than me! It really depended on the circumstances and the age of the person. If they were young they assumed we were a couple, if they were over about 50 they assumed I was the daughter. Let it go. It's an innocent mistake.

Do you look old for your age and he looks young ?

Not that hard to mix up if so .

People of ten think my brother in law is my dad when we are out. I take it as a compliment because I'm one year younger than him 🤷‍♀️

Tactless. Think before you open your mouth.

I got mistaken for my sons girlfriend last week. Its not something Im going to cry about.

My Dad is 33 years older than me and I’ve had it happen a lot - I laugh it off and say “gross! He’s my dad!”

We went on holiday together this year, shared a twin room and I made a thing of calling him Dad in front of staff.

DD and ex-H had this the other day for the first time. She’s 15 and he’s 41. FFS. Fifteen.

I read an article about an American (white) man with adopted daughters from Asia (Thailand I guess) and he said once the girls entered puberty he started to hear very unpleasant things...

When I was young and single and house hunting, I took my dad with me on viewings and we were mistake all the time for being a couple.

We thought it was funny.

DH had this on holiday with our DD .... they were stopped by a photographer in the hotel and he thought they were partners. DD was 16 and DH was 48 😮

That happened once to me in my 20s. My dad isn't especially young looking and I'd met him for coffee on my lunch break. We just laughed it off.

Most people are awful at judging age in adulthood. It's also not uncommon for some romantic relationships to have an age gap.

I wouldn't like this either, OP.

My husband has been mistaken for my dad on more than one occasion. He's only 3 years older than I am!

Come to think of it, I've been mistaken for my son's girlfriend. But I think someone didn't have their glasses on.

I never really go anywhere alone with my dad, outside of giving me a lift or other ‘fatherly’ things - helping me buy car etc.
Bit sad and sexist, but I can’t imagine going for coffee, train journey etc with my dad, is it perhaps because you’re doing stuff with your dad that people assume he’s your partner.

God this used to be a huge fear of mine when I was younger! My dad was 28 when I was born so it wasn’t likely that people would think that but just thought was so horrible!

Oh, I’d be really grossed out by that. And would have said so to the people.

My Dad's 21 years older than me and this has never happened. Although my mum is 19 years older and people used to mistake her for my sister.

My son is late 20s and I’m late 40s we’ve been mistaken for a couple a few times and we thought it was funny! Can’t see why anyone would be bothered by it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I used to get that sometimes when I travelled with my Dad. My solution was to call him Dad frequently in public and to the wait staff

My 18 year old dd went off on a sunny holiday with her dad years ago.
Wherever they were, beach, restaurant, hotel pool, he got her to shout after him whenever he walked off to get a drink etc. "Dad! Can you get me a drink too?"

Just so everybody knew what was what.

I don't see the issue. You married someone much older it's natural for people to assume relationship status given how you look.

I've had DH bent mistaken for my day (he's 3 years older than me and I look young so I thought it was hilarious, him less so) and DD1 was mistaken for DD3's mother when there's only 12 years between them. DD1 is a good egg and we both had a good laugh about that one!!

@UnderCarraigeWoes what? OP didn't marry someone much older ( as far as we know)

Blimey, either he looks v young or you look older than your years!! Either way I still don't see why it bothers you.

I can imagine it is very uncomfortable in the moment. It wouldn't necessarily make me angry or annoyed though, as it can't be helped. They don't know any better, that's their first impression, so no harm in correcting them and moving on.

We used to joke about getting Dad/Daughter shirts made up. I found it amusing until people started assuming the same about me and our son. I find myself overusing our family roles in conversation with strangers now.

One of my best friends was born when her parents were 15. Ever since she was was about 15 herself people have taken her for her Dad's partner. Friend is now 40 and her father is 55 and it still happens all the time, with people assuming she's his wife and his grandchildren are his kids. He loves it and it makes him go on about how youthful he looks. My friend is less keen on it as a concept!

My dad is only 16 years older than me and has never married. When I got married I tagged him in a photo on Facebook of him walking me down the aisle and one of his friends commented like ‘Congratulations meadowsDad, lovely to see you finally settling down with a lovely lady’.

I died of embarrassment when I saw and promptly removed the comment.

I think it’s common with younger parents but doesn’t stop it feeling gross and quite uncomfortable.

Don't understand why on earth this would bother someone. People don't walk around with their ages/relationships stamped on their foreheads. People make a mistake. It's just life.

The things people get wound up over on MN never fail to amaze me. I think I'm quite uptight until I come on here