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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DH flashing car lights in these circumstances isn't the norm?

115 replies

BeeLievable · 14/08/2023 20:48

DH has a strange habit where if he drives past a car which is the same colour and model as ours he flashes his lights at them - the "car twin".

We have recently got a new car and it seems quite common and this habit is driving me a bit mad - mainly because he insists everyone does it and people will know why he's doing it. I've told him no one else does it and he's confusing other drivers.

Does anyone else do this?

OP posts:

EldenRing4 · 14/08/2023 21:24

This could be classed as dangerous driving. YANBU. Tell the silly to stop before he causes an accident.

JenniferBarkley · 14/08/2023 21:24

I drive a grey Hyundai Tucson. If every grey Tucson I passed flashed me a) I'd be convinced there was something wrong with my car as it would be every other vehicle and b) I'd be blinded as it would be every other vehicle.

HundredMilesAnHour · 14/08/2023 21:25

Rule 110 of the Highway Code states: “Only flash your headlights to let other road users know you are there... Do not flash your headlights to convey any other message or intimidate other road users.”

Breaking this rule can lead to a fine of up to £1,000. It can also lead to points on your licence.

Source:
https://www.moneyexpert.com/news/1-in-5-drivers-risk-gbp1-000-fines-by-flashing-headlights-to-say-thanks/#:~:text=Do%20not%20flash%20your%20headlights,insurance%20premiums%20in%20the%20future.

1 in 5 drivers risk £1,000 fines by flashing headlights to say thanks

Around a fifth of drivers in the UK flash their headlights to thank other motorists, according to a recent survey, but doing so risks a fine of up to &poun...

https://www.moneyexpert.com/news/1-in-5-drivers-risk-gbp1-000-fines-by-flashing-headlights-to-say-thanks#:~:text=Do%20not%20flash%20your%20headlights,insurance%20premiums%20in%20the%20future.

Redglitter · 14/08/2023 21:25

Doggymummar · 14/08/2023 20:52

Beetle drivers do this, not ford focus drivers!

That drove me nuts when I had my Beetle. Why the hell would some random think I'm interested in waving to them just because we have the same taste in cars.

I never returned a Beetle drivers wave 🤭

Iizzyb · 14/08/2023 21:25

DF used to do that in the 70's when he saw another Volvo driver. I'd be at it all day if I did that now 😂

ActDottie · 14/08/2023 21:30

It’s weird no one does this! I’d be annoyed if he did this to me as I assume if someone flashes me something is wrong with my car or there’s been an accident ahead.

mraladdinsir · 14/08/2023 21:30

This is definitely normal in my area (coastal). I lived in Scotland recently for a few years where DH got many a strange look for doing it! We forgot all about it until we moved back after 3 years. Back to doing it again now happily!

BorneoBound · 14/08/2023 21:31

Classic mini drivers do this. All others cars, just no

BorneoBound · 14/08/2023 21:33

Sorry that should have said all 'normal' cars just no

StillWantingADog · 14/08/2023 21:33

Nah not common

we have quite a rare car and if we see another driver might wave especially if at slow speeds but would never flash at them

NewName122 · 14/08/2023 21:34

Never heard of anyone doing this.

Ffsmakeitstop · 14/08/2023 21:34

It's against the law to warn of speed cameras. And yes it's usually Beetle owners that do this.

PuppyMonkey · 14/08/2023 21:35

VW campervan drivers don’t wave, they do the VW sign.

OP, your DH sounds a bit weird.

Bemyclementine · 14/08/2023 21:37

I used to have a Morris Minor and it was usual to flash/wave at others. Not in a normal modern car though!

Alwayswonderedwhy · 14/08/2023 21:37

Never heard of this being a thing. I would assume the driver flashing thinks I've done something wrong or I've got a light out.

Mollymalone123 · 14/08/2023 21:37

I would say rare vintage and classic cars.def beetles and van life people.Bikers always nod to each other

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 14/08/2023 21:38

This was done by EV drivers about 3 years ago when there were many fewer on the road but it's phased out now as they're much more popular and we'd be flashing each other all the time and causing chaos.

That reminds me of the early days of the AA, where I understand the patrols (often on motorbikes) would salute every single member that they passed. If they didn't salute you (and had clearly seen you), that meant that there was a speed trap or other potential risk ahead of you!

VisionsOfSplendour · 14/08/2023 21:38

Of course everyone doesn't of this, it's perfectly obvious when you're driving around that lights arent flashing all over the place

Imagine if white Teslas did it, they'd run their batteries down in no time 😀

Mollymalone123 · 14/08/2023 21:39

actually when I had a jimny then jimny drivers would smile at me or thumbs up

WhatsTheEffingPoint · 14/08/2023 21:54

Bikers nod at each other, when I noticed this i did have a chuckle, even more so when I realised DP joined in when out on his bike.

I've also seen truckers from the same firm do the flashy lights thing.

Rare/vintage/different cars etc I would say is normal. Your everyday modern car a bit odd.

Youcunnyfunt · 14/08/2023 22:13

5128gap · 14/08/2023 20:51

A lot of people do it but usually when they have cool or iconic cars like minis, beetles, camper vans etc. I don't think audi drivers do it.

Can confirm that… audi drivers are definitely nerdy about certain models and definitely all wave / flash each other 😂

It is definitely a thing, not something I would ever initiate but I’d return the gesture if someone did it to me!

Youcunnyfunt · 14/08/2023 22:20

Not flashing though, always waving.

Elphame · 14/08/2023 22:22

It's definitely an MX-5 thing especially amongst those of use who drive NA, NB and NC models.

I wouldn't dream of flashing another Qashqai owner though if I'm driving DP's car

tommika · 14/08/2023 22:30

WhatsTheEffingPoint · 14/08/2023 21:54

Bikers nod at each other, when I noticed this i did have a chuckle, even more so when I realised DP joined in when out on his bike.

I've also seen truckers from the same firm do the flashy lights thing.

Rare/vintage/different cars etc I would say is normal. Your everyday modern car a bit odd.

There’s another one from lorries - sometimes if you are passing a lorry they will flash their lights once you have cleared in front of them, this would show that you can see their lights flash behind you therefore you can pull back across safely in front

ntmdino · 14/08/2023 22:43

I'll usually give other (old) MG ZS drivers a wave, or if it's at night I'll blink my headlights off-then-on again rather than my beams on-then-off again - that's not a "hello", it's blinding them for no reason.

As an aside, I really wish more people would do that when saying "thank you" - it's not much thanks when I get rewarded with the afterimage of their front beams burned into my retinas. It's easy to do in pretty much any car if you practice for 10 minutes, and everybody else on the road will be grateful for it.

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