To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

For God's sake kids are part of society. Are we all supposed to do everything all online for fear of going into a supermarket, what next? It's ridiculous, no one does their shopping purely online and I'm not sure which adult you are referring to. I don't have one to hand to send out on chores.

Busy train station where people are running down steps with cases to make connection is not time to let toddler practice walking on steps.

tbh i'm not sure why the person running around with a suitcase has priority over a toddler.

The lack of situational awareness and no consideration that their choices impact on other people.

See also:

Now wait a minute where's my purse, let me rummage around the giant bag, got it... Reward card you say. Yes I'm sure I've got one in here somewhere, let me rummage through 3 months of cards and receipts to find it. Actually I've got a coupon too. It's loose in the bag so I need to have a bit more of a rummage whilst continuing a conversation about the weather.

It's a similar outlook to oh darling, you just peruse the fruit section, now we'll chat about what we like, then find them, then you can stand there blocking everyone else getting in whilst you decide which apple you want. We'll repeat this round the whole supermarket. Then naturally instead of loading the belt as an adult, we'll go at snail pace so the 6 year old can have a learning experience. It doesn't matter that a queue is forming. And now it's all scanned and any adults getting impatient need to value my child more. Let's get the card out, are you going to tap the card or is Mummy? You're going to. Wow you're so clever.

Just no consideration for other people.

True but in some necks of the woods (like mine) adults are chastened (kindly or not!) for not having situational awareness. If parents do it for the kids then it hopefully ingrains the lesson and there are fewer adults getting told off by their peers.

But sometimes there isn't any option - I am often in the position where I need to carry the buggy down the steps while my preschooler walks down. Sometimes he is slow because he is little and people still huff and try to push past him

For God's sake kids are part of society.

It's weird how kids & older people I would add are seen as less then others.

A kid slowly walking down steps would bother me less then someone hurtling down the steps with a suitcase because they are running late.

Because missing a connection has consequences that may be significant (financial, ruined trip etc) whereas a child not getting to practice at that precise moment does not.

It’d be the same if a parent was the one hurrying with child and suitcase.

The suitcases aren't being coaxed to run down the stairs on their own, while everyone else waits for them to figure it out.

Maybe they're running to catch the train as a parent has just been taken to hospital? Maybe they were meant to leave the house much earlier but their child needed extra comfort before they left so they're running late? Maybe they have ADHD and are panicked as they're late? Why does a toddler who has no where to be trump an adult who does? The mother can just move them to side and let them past and then carry on dithering on the stairs if they want. A toddler can learn stairs at many points. Am adult who's parent is dying in hospital cannot wait.
(I get that in most cases these adults do not have parents dying in hospitals I'm just pointing out why normally adults take priority in these situations. They are often on their way to important time sensitive events)

The suitcases aren't being coaxed to run down the stairs on their own, while everyone else waits for them to figure it out.

what's that got to do with anything? I'd rather a toddler banged into me as opposed to a running adult. Last week an old man was almost knocked of his face by let person, I guess he shouldn't be using the station?

I’m not talking about the no other option but the 18 month old painstakingly slow while mum smiles on oblivious to surroundings.
When they announce platform it’s often a stampede of people type situation.

Maybe they're running to catch the train as a parent has just been taken to hospital? Maybe they were meant to leave the house much earlier but their child needed extra comfort before they left so they're running late? Maybe they have ADHD and are panicked as they're late? Why does a toddler who has no where to be trump an adult who does?

This is nonsense, why are you inventing reasons why someone is in dire need of more consideration? How do you know the toddler & it's parents doesn't have somewhere to be but just left in time whereas the adult is just running late?

lovewoola

Unfortunately some people seem to confuse criticism of adult choices as a sign that people hate children/view them as second class citizens etc.

It's not the children being criticised.
It's the parents.

It's not a toddler's fault if their parents decides that a busy train station is a perfect place to learn walking down a flight of stairs.
Challenging the parent's decision does not equal hating children.

Same with hotels/cafes/other non-play venues.
It's not a child's fault that they have parents who encourage charging around and behaving in a situationally inappropriate way.
Challenging parents who shrug their shoulders and say "but it's developmentally appropriate for children to charge around Costa" and get sulky when other adults (including non-permissive parents who like children) does not equal hating children.

An older person having to carefully navigate stairs is very different to a parent choosing to pick a really bad time for their toddler to be practising steps.

How do you know the toddler & it's parents doesn't have somewhere to be but just left in time whereas the adult is just running late?

Because people who are late and rushing don’t choose that moment to stop and practice toddling down steps.

Because missing a connection has consequences that may be significant (financial, ruined trip etc) whereas a child not getting to practice at that precise moment does not.

If you are going to miss a connection just because of a toddler on the stairs then I suggest you need to be more organised.

Because that’s the only way you can be late - your own error. Trains are never delayed. There’s never a RTA causing traffic chaos.

I agree that some people need to manage their time better but some parents need to manage their learning experiences better.

I can count on my one hand when i've been held up by a toddler walking up stairs. I'm far more likely to be held up by a suitcase, a bewildered adult unsure of where they are going, or teenagers messing about.

I've missed trains, ferries, boats but again never because of a toddler. In most cases I've been the cause of my own delay.

’You need to face the reality that what you consider insignificant events are genuine disturbances for others’

Off topic but I will remember your words here when you are on the next dog thread defending poor dog ownership ;-)

How do you know the toddler & it's parents doesn't have somewhere to be but just left in time whereas the adult is just running late?

I misread you, sorry. In which case, the parent being on time is irrelevant - it’s not a reason why a person should be OK to miss their train or whatever because the parent wanted to do steps practice.

It’s hard to describe but it’s the oh good job Finley, hold the handrail that’s it, you’re such a good climber. Smiling oblivious to fact there’s a crowd running towards train to make the 3.15 to Glasgow as they’ve only just announced the platform number. It’s the complete oblivion to everything else going on as so focused on learning opportunity. You can be at the station an hour before but they only announce platform at last minute.

Because that’s the only way you can be late - your own error. Trains are never delayed. There’s never a RTA causing traffic chaos.

I never get the last train possible if I'm flying or assume there will be no delays on a long drive. As I said a toddler has never caused me to miss a train/flight etc.

Does that make a difference to the hypothetical person trying to make their train?

@fitzwilliamdarcy so you have missed a train because of this & if when you said excuse me I need to get that train the parent ignored you?

Does that make a difference to the hypothetical person trying to make their train?

Of course it doesn't