To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

Well that’s fabulous but you’re not the only person in the world, so…

You also don’t have to have booked the last train possible or not allowed for delays to be caught out by them. Or for last minute platform announcements as another PP mentioned.

I agree that some people manage time badly but some parents manage learning badly too, so.

Errr, yeah, if it were me I’d be more annoyed at being obstructed by a totally unnecessary learning experience than by a person who is vulnerable and trying their best to get down the stairs.

(The example with the buggy would also be way less annoying, because it was necessary.)

I think it's safe to say if two totally separate lots of people complained about your kids in a 24 hour period the problem is your kids .

That really only works if you’re at the front of the queue doesn’t it? If you’re 10 people deep and you don’t know what’s happening then you can’t do that.

Well that’s fabulous but you’re not the only person in the world, so…

No shit but I am intrigued that toddlers on stairs are such a huge cause of delays.

You also don’t have to have booked the last train possible or not allowed for delays to be caught out by them.

I haven't claimed otherwise

Or for last minute platform announcements as another PP mentioned

Very familiar with this

I agree that some people manage time badly but some parents manage learning badly too, so.

Of course some parents are idiots just like lots of non parents are idiots. I'm just pointing out that in my day to day life in London (which is quite a busy place) it isn't the toddlers causing delays. And many adults aren't only rushing because they are rushing to the bedside of a dying loved one.

That really only works if you’re at the front of the queue doesn’t it? If you’re 10 people deep and you don’t know what’s happening then you can’t do that.

How many toddlers at once are we talking & how narrow are the staircases? Have you missed a train because of a toddler though which was my question?

When I catch the train the main cause of congestion on the stairs is adults rushing down the no entry side which has the people walking up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I didn’t say it happened all the time. You said you didn’t see why people rushing to catch trains take priority over toddlers learning to climb steps. I provided and you now dispute that it happens much anyway. I think I’ll leave it there and get on with my day!

It's hard to tell how unreasonable the issues regarding noise are but the swimming pool is absolutely reasonable. I have 3 children, but I would be really irritated to find children in the pool at an adults only session. It doesn't matter if you feel you would just be splashing in the shallows, that's not the point. The fact that you can't see why this might be irritating makes me wonder of your perspective on how loud they are might also skewed?

Maybe for families with older children, not unruly ones running about and screaming?

I have sat through children jumping up and down on sofas and screaming as if they were on a trampoline, while other guests got up and left after finishing drinks etc. As soon as we finished ( as fast as possible) we also left without ordering another drink or coffee, the staff shrugged. That's the sort of place you need to stay. A lot of people would never return so it would eventually be filled with uncontrolled children.

I don't think regular hotels are the best place for small children tbh. If they're family friendly then fine, but if they're predominantly adult spaces with few facilities for children, then I think parents should choose different accommodation. The only time we've stayed in hotels with our DC was if we really had no choice, such as when attending a wedding. Other than than, self catering apartments or family friendly hotels are much better set up for kids. I do think adults should be able to relax in nice hotels, with peace and quiet. There's too few adult only hotels, unlike adult only holiday resorts. If just popping away for a nice weekend UK break, it's difficult to find adult only hotels, and I personally would prefer not to be surrounded by other people's children.

Off topic but I will remember your words here when you are on the next dog thread defending poor dog ownership ;-)
What poor dog behaviour have I ever excused? I don't like bad behaved dog owners any more than selfish parents.

Fully agree, and why I mentioned upthread about people being accustomed to holiday hotels in the Med and thinking the same kind of holiday vibe/anything goes environment also applies in more formal/adult hotels in the UK. In most tourist hotels in the Med (and other holiday hotspots), you'll get very few workers and the hotels are geared up more for children/fun, etc. That's why they don't have "adult only" pool sessions and everything is generally a lot more informal. The "holiday" hotels abroad also expect the guests to be there several days, if not a week or two, and to spend lots of time in and around the hotel, with some people probably not leaving the hotel grounds all day, or even for several days. Completely different to UK hotels where people tend to be out of the hotel all day, and only return predominantly for somewhere to sleep/have breakfast, as they simply don't normally have facilities or amenities for people to hang around all day!

Read some of the threads about children's behaviour where parents refuse to acknowledge their child can have a bad day/not behave. Then look at how badly many people treat anyone in hospitality, be it hotels or elsewhere.

Perhaps it is not the hotels that are the main issue, even though some could be more welcoming.

@Ontheclifftop

this is about manners really

1. if your kids needed to run off steam you do that before going into reception so as not to disturb others versus arrogantly expecting others to tolerate the noise and disruption. They same would be true for loud and rude adults.
2. often hotels have early swim spots for adults to do lengths. Perfectly reasonable.

people choose to have children and of course that makes sense it doesn't mean children should have a right to disrupt. My parents taught me to be quiet and respectful and also ensured the appropriate place to play.

adults should there accept play areas in hotels and parents should also accept places where things should be quieter.

it's all about manners.

OP: AIBU?
MN: Yes. YABVU
OP: No I'm not.

Yep. Love this! This section is called AIBU

Kids running around the lobby? Id he annoyed too and also have children. If they want to burn off steam let them do it outside while either you or DH check in. If the kids cant behave then maybe wait until theyre older before staying in hotels or go to a family hotel. Why should others have to listen to kids screaming at 7am

It's all about context. If I'm eating at McDonald's, or the type of restaurant that incorporates a children's play area, I expect there to be kids making noise and possible running around the place and don't have a problem with it. If I'm eating at an upmarket restaurant in the evening, I expect any children there to be quiet and stay in their seats, i.e. have been taught by their parents how to behave in a restaurant. I would tut, roll my eyes and eventually complain to staff if the children were shrieking and running round the place.

Similarly with hotels, in a theme park or beach resort hotel I would be much more tolerant of unruly children than in a country manor type hotel with no facilities specifically for children.

Hotel lobby is not a playground.

If you want recommendations the Four Season in Hampshire is hands down the best family break we’ve ever had!

Just looked, at £800 a night for cheapest room for 2, I would hope so!

So one parent take the three year old outside

not wanting to upset your child isn’t a reason to have no boundaries

I must rant.

The last many times I have stayed in a certain (quiet) hotel, I have had the misfortune to have people like your family living in the room next door. Parents who think everyone loves their children as highly as they do. It's a pets allowed hotel, so I bring my quiet dog who never bothers anyone. It's also a hotel frequented by people on business trips who are up early for meetings and flights, so it's expected guest do not make noise in the evening. We like the area because we get a change of scenery and some nice long walks and I can do some work. Unfortunately children 'letting off some steam' slam doors on both sides, do what sounds like parkour against walls after 10, run up and down the corridor outside for hours, throw sticky sweets on the floor, yell and scream and forget what room they are in so knock on my door (!) and slam their own room door every 5 minutes when they run in and out.

My dog ends up shaking all over and drooling, and though I tell myself every single time = just ignore it, the parents must somehow realize it's just not on and stop the noise, they NEVER do. So I'm that annoying Fawlty Towers guest who call down in reception and complain about my dog's nerves. I hate to do that, but I hate even more to have my dog traumatised, and my getaway ruined, because parents believe hotel corridors are part of their room and/or a place to exercise their children.

And just to be clear: I would NEVER choose a hotel marked child-friendly, because I know what to expect there.

So yes. YABU.

If we'd tried to stop them my 3 year old would have kicked off, creating more noise
This says it all, op 🤦🏼‍♀️ The hotel were not unfriendly to children; your particular children are allowed to run amok unchecked because they'll object to being told No.

It is a very telling quote. It makes clear the kids are not kept in check so their parents can try to have an easier life

Sorry to add to a derail but I'm laughing my arse off at "why should a child ever be in a supermarket" 😂😂

Why the hell shouldn't they?!

It's a public space and impatient people don't own it, no matter how much of a rush they're in!

My child will grab the bananas off the shelf all she wants, and if you're in a dire rush to get food to your dying relative or whatever nonsense whataboutery was given upthread, then feel free to grab the apples instead. Otherwise you can wait an extra two seconds, and may it teach you some patience! Likewise, lifting my child up so she can tap the card takes about two seconds. If waiting that long bothers you so much then maybe YOU should shop online.