I took my young children into a shopping centre today and I was on their case the entire time we were out. Stay next to me, don’t run around, don’t touch that, don’t laugh too loudly. I basically spent the entire time we were out getting them to ‘behave’ and the more I tried the more difficult it became because they are children, and those things don’t come naturally to them. They’re good children… but they were bored, there was a lot of waiting and ultimately they don’t have the ability at 3 and 5 years old to behave like mini adults.
The point of the thread though, is due to the fact that "they don't have the ability to behave like mini adults" (obviously, because they are small children), many of us choose to parent in such a way that they aren't expected to. My eldest had just turned 5 when my youngest was born, so I too had 3 under 6 for a while. I wouldn't expect them to have to spend a long time in a shopping centre. We didn't even have the option of on-line shopping when mine were little, as parents do now, but if I needed something, then - as a pp suggested - you pick your time and get in, get what you need, and get out. Preferably after the dc have had some exercise, or were on a promise of "First we need to get the school shoes, and then we are going to the park / swimming / whatever" for those occasions when you do need to take them in.
More generally, it is the same with the hotel - if you want a relaxing break and have small children - best option is not to use a hotel. As has been said, you have to be constantly engaging the children and teaching them how to behave in different situations. Yes, there is a time when you need to start doing that, but it's hardly a relaxing weekend away for anyone, so why inflict it upon yourselves? There are cottages, Air BnBs, tents, Youth hostels, caravans, statics and lodges. Plenty of choice for places where you can be on your own timetable, and where they are much more likely to have outside space for dc to play in. At different stages of life, you choose appropriate places to stay and appropriate activities for where your family is in life, not expect everyone around you to tolerate your children behaving inappropriately.
It's not about hating children at all. In fact one of the most frustrating things when out somewhere with your children who have been / are being taught how to behave appropriately for that space, is to have other children running riot and being allowed to do so. I'm very happy to see other families out and about doing stuff together, just not ruining things by disturbing other people.