To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

You’re brave posting this OP, I’m finding that Mumsnet is increasingly not child friendly 😜

Whether you’re unreasonable or not depends on the hotel I think, sorry haven’t RTFT. DH and I recently stayed at the Hilton in Canary Wharf which is a lovely big hotel. Definitely child friendly as I noticed on reception when we checked in there were little activity packs with crayons you could take for children (although I didn’t see many little ones at all). If you’re in a big hotel I think some noise is to be expected, I always take ear plugs as you don’t know what time other guests are going to be back from their evenings out/up early the next day, and door slamming and general noise is part of staying in a hotel. But if it was a small boutique hotel with few rooms, it’s a bit more reasonable to expect quiet.

YANBU that generally the UK is pretty child unfriendly though.

Ha ha. I am currently at a lovely adults-only hotel with my adult kids. Is the hotel guilty of discrimination?!

Your children sound very lacking in discipline.

You were either being more noisy than you're letting on or made a bad choice of hotel. I've stayed in hotels regularly since mine were babies and never had an issue.

@Elephantsdontlikechocolate Elephantsdontlikechocolate

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

Yes, my local pool has an inflatable session which you can only partake in if you are under 14 and as I'm 50 something I'm not allowed to go and join in. Vile, utterly and completely vile, eh?

The thing is you don't know what issues the people in the rooms next to you have. I'm autistic myself and absolutely could not deal with screams coming from the room next to me all night. These days I do take noise cancelling headphones with me everywhere I go, but when I was a child I didn't have that, (wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult and pretty sure my parents just thought I was being badly behaved when I was having a meltdown over noises) and would have been screaming and crying myself at the noise. So yes I would have "complained" to the hotel about the noise as I could not have stayed in that room anymore. Do I think you shouldn't be allowed to take your daughter to a hotel? Of course not. But, you just need to be aware that your daughters behaviour could affect other autistic people/children meaning perhaps they may not be able to not bring their children to hotels or have to leave early etc. I can imagine someone posting on here saying they took their child with autism on holiday, and in the room next door was a child who screamed all night which caused their child to have a meltdown as they can't cope with noise. So they complained to the hotel who said the was no other rooms available as it was fully booked so they had to cut their holiday short which caused their child to have a further meltdown and the whole holiday was ruined. Unfortunately living with autism sucks a lot of the time and at points sometimes some parents will end up having to leave a place (like a hotel). Should it happen? No. But when you have conflicting needs sometimes one party will have no choice.

Doesn't sound like OPs kids were "running riot". They just weren't acting like adults. Which is fine too. I put up with other adults, so I'm happy to put up with other kids. Because I don't expect everyone to pander to me.

Dumbest post of the day bingo has been won early today

Children stay at the Ritz et al. @Ontheclifftop, doesn't make them family friendly hotels does it? Sounds like you were at quite an upmarket place and your children did not behave appropriately. YABU, people have paid a lot of money for a holiday, what gives you the right to ruin that? I have 2 DCs 5 and 1, you have to take control

Definitely child friendly as I noticed on reception when we checked in there were little activity packs with crayons you could take for children

Do you honestly not realise that this kind of thing is provided to amuse and distract children so that they don’t get bored and resort to running around the lobby? Especially for those whose parents don’t bother to bring anything for the same purpose.

It's not the hotel isn't child friendly, it doesn't sound like yoy have taught your children how to behave in a shared space. It isn't appropriate for children to be running around a reception area. If your children need to let off steam then teach them to wait or take them somewhere before going unto a space like that.

You need to teach your children how to adapt to settings, not just run wild.

Maybe choose the appropriate, designated space for excited, noisy squealing children where they can run amok: Center Parcs; Butlins; A reform school; etc.

I understand why you wanted to burn some of their energy early in the morning but if I had woken up early on holiday to take advantage of the adult-only pool time, then someone wheedled the lifeguard to get their young kids in, I'd be really annoyed. Rules are rules.

Being charitable, maybe you didn't think it was bad because you're desensitised to their day-to-day noise. Although, the fact that you caveated everything with "I know how it sounds", insisting it wasn't that bad means you know they shouldn't have been doing it. I reckon you're downplaying it.

I appreciate that children don't have the capacity for boredom that adults do but there is a difference between visibly trying to manage behaviour and just letting them run riot. People will generally be less prickly if they can see/hear you at least trying to manage poor behaviour.

Why are you taking your kids to what sounds like a nice hotel? Take them camping or similar if you want space and to get up early squealing. If we pay for a hotel break I don't want to listen to squealing kids when I've gone to the effort of leaving my own kids at home with babysitters. I have 3 aged 2, 5 and 7 I'm right there too, you have to chose child friendly places, not think you can still go to the nice adult places you once enjoyed and think everyone should embrace your noisy brats.

🤣🤣🤣

You might be better with a B and B or a guest house. Or a farm, lost do farms do B and B.

Some have indoor and outdoor play areas.

When DH used to travel a lot with work DS and I would join him on some of his European jaunts staying in really nice hotels. Never an issue.

I feel sorry for your children’s future teachers, I bet you call them spirited, we all know the translation.

I’m childfree but can honestly say I’ve been disturbed far more often by adults having impromptu parties in their rooms, or just talking really loudly in the small hours than by children. That said I wouldn’t take kindly to children thundering up and down the corridor or screaming. And I don’t think adults only early morning swim sessions are discriminatory. Running round the lobby, depends whether it’s a Premier Inn or a more high end place which serves morning coffee/afternoon tea and has sofas and fireplaces.

Crikey, this thread convinces me more than ever that children need to stay at family-friendly hotels, and that there need to be other places that are adult-only. With modern British parenting, I can't see any other way tbh.

What makes you think it's ok to run around the lobby/check in area at a Premier Inn (or any other budget hotel) exactly? There are still other people doing things that need concentration, dangers, other tired people and so on. No hotel lobby is the place to be letting off steam, as the OP puts it!

Please don’t tar us all with the same brush. Ds is 13 and a “family friendly” hotel would be a nightmare for him! He may be autistic and have many issues but he loves going to hotels and knows how to behave in them

To be fair, lots of parents are not siding with the OP on this one either. Most of us don't want other people's children running around lobbies or check in areas, screaming early in the morning, or demanding pool schedules are changed to suit them! We all need to be tolerant of each other at times, and there are places where I expect children to be, well, being children, and places where parents really need to set guidelines. In this case other guests may have been more understanding if the op had less of a 'you have to put up with my kids' attitude and was actually trying to calm them down a bit/work within the hotel guidelines!

Maybe the other children were well behaved
And clearly didn't have an entitled parent trying to ignore the 'adult only' restriction on early morning swimming.

If your kids need to let off steam, they need to be taken out to do so. A walk or visit to a playpark before check in would be more appropriate.
Similarly, in the morning you could have gone for a walk. YABU

Fair comment.