Page 17 | To think hotels are very child unfriendly

Ontheclifftop · 2023-08-14T09:17:01+00:00

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families: 1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look. 1. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine. 1. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in. The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't. AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

PurpleFlower1983 · 15/08/2023 06:25

My husband and I loved staying in nice hotels pre-kids but now it’s Premier Inns, Travelodges or explicitly child friendly hotels for us (our kids are 4 and 2). We’re in a Travelodge in Brighton as we speak.

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 06:25

Typz · 14/08/2023 11:23

Some hotels aren’t family friendly, some are, but no hotels are happy with children running around reception. If they need to blow off steam then one parent takes them outside to the garden / playground while the other checks in, or you simply tell them to stay still. If there is no garden/playground then probably you’re in the wrong hotel.

All hotels with pools have an adult only session, usually first thing. This must have been your first time but next time you’ll know to check.

When they wake up if they’re bouncy, you take them outside or to breakfast, straight away. If after 8am or so I do let mine run up and down the hotel corridors, but mine only giggle they never scream, and so they make less corridor noise than most adults.

Do you realise how annoying, and more importantly, unsafe it is to be running up and down corridors? Some bigger hotels will even be starting rounds, potentially with big heavy cleaning carts, by 8am onward.

LolaSmiles · 15/08/2023 06:44

Don’t you ever look around and wonder how other parents seem to manage? They encourage and show their children what appropriate behaviour is. That’s development; not letting them run wild.
This.

The whole part of being a parent is it's our job to teach them what's acceptable in different situations and to plan ways to support our children in developmentally appropriate ways.

You can tell it's the summer holidays though because there's loads of threads at the moment about so-called child hating. The vast majority of them are situations can be summed up as:

Group 1: everyone hates children, look everyone things children should be seen and not heard, they're just children

Group 2: very few people actually hate children, though some exist. Most people have no issues with children, but are also get irritated when parents allow their children to be rude/loud/run around places that aren't designed for children to charge around.

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 06:45

WouldJustlikeaLatte · 14/08/2023 12:08

We got complained about so much recently. 2 y o dd is autistic and a bad sleeper plus we were in an unfamiliar place and she was screaming at night 😵‍💫 the hotel wanted to move us after 2 nights but she was just getting used to the too. So we couldn’t switch so they had to move the people both sides of us one of whom was very vocal about how we shouldn’t be taking ‘THAT sort of child!’ To hotels etc etc 😭

I wouldn't want to spend the night in a room next to a child who potentially screams loud enough to disturb me/my family at or during the night. Despite me understanding that there might well be genuine reasons for the screams, they might well also be really disruptive to my stay. I don't think anyone needed to use language like you described though, there are more sensitive ways to address the issue. Maybe a self catering would be a more realistic option for you going forward? It's good they were able to move you, but if a hotel was fully booked then they might not have that option.

Goldencup · 15/08/2023 06:49

Lenor · 14/08/2023 23:49

I completely agree OP, but I know a lot of people won’t.

I think it’s time that the silly notion of children being seen and not heard is put behind us. A huge proportion of the population has young children currently, or recently had young children and 100% of the population was once a young child.

I took my young children into a shopping centre today and I was on their case the entire time we were out. Stay next to me, don’t run around, don’t touch that, don’t laugh too loudly. I basically spent the entire time we were out getting them to ‘behave’ and the more I tried the more difficult it became because they are children, and those things don’t come naturally to them. They’re good children… but they were bored, there was a lot of waiting and ultimately they don’t have the ability at 3 and 5 years old to behave like mini adults.

I think when my third was born I really realised how non-child friendly the majority of society is. We have 3 children under 6 years old and there is a large number of things I feel unable to do with them, purely because of society’s expectations that they behave in non-developmentally appropriate ways.

I think some of this is our society's reliance on the motor car. If the children have walked to the shops they are more likely to stay still and quiet in the shops. When I had under 8s no way would I have attempted a shopping trip without some " outdoor time" first. Sticking them in the car ( strapped in no less) then expecting them to be calm is unrealistic IMO.

I was frequently complimented on my DCs' behaviour, they were no better behaved than other children, they were managed. This did mean being up and out by 9 most mornings c' est la vie.

ilovesooty · 15/08/2023 06:50

northernsunshine · 15/08/2023 00:07

@Ontheclifftop I am with you ONE HUNDRED PER CENT.

I was thinking the same thing. It’s a wider issue, sadly in Britain we are just not a nice, child friendly country in general. Modern parents are helping but I think with the rising elderly population and the Entitled Boomers, there is a prevailing “children should be seen and not heard” attitude that remains.

Entitled Boomers

Here we go again.

I think you'll find that a good few posters who think the OP was BU have young children themselves.

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 06:57

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 06:45

I wouldn't want to spend the night in a room next to a child who potentially screams loud enough to disturb me/my family at or during the night. Despite me understanding that there might well be genuine reasons for the screams, they might well also be really disruptive to my stay. I don't think anyone needed to use language like you described though, there are more sensitive ways to address the issue. Maybe a self catering would be a more realistic option for you going forward? It's good they were able to move you, but if a hotel was fully booked then they might not have that option.

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I've just seen your reply about how stressful a time it was for you, I'm really sorry to hear that and for your loss. That said, we also don't know what anyone else is going through, including the other guests who were forced to move. There's no easy answer here, you do have my sympathies but equally the other guests have them too.

HolidaysShouldNotEnd · 15/08/2023 07:02

Reetnice · 15/08/2023 00:16

“But I had easy kids”

such a condescending message

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Quite the opposite in fact. I did have easy biddable kids and that’s why I have never taken all the ‘credit’ for how well-behaved they are. I know we in part that we just got lucky and it’s not to do with ‘superior’ parenting. They have my husbands chilled genes.

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 07:03

ilovesooty · 15/08/2023 06:50

Entitled Boomers

Here we go again.

I think you'll find that a good few posters who think the OP was BU have young children themselves.

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My child is older now, but my view on this would have been the same whatever age he is!
'Suitable for families', or even 'family friendly', does not mean children/parents can do whatever they like - entitled parents are not fun. Of course we should have compassion for other people's 'challenges', especially if their child(ren) has/have extra needs/disabilities, but it's also not ok for one family/group to have no consideration for those around them.

resilienceabloodygain · 15/08/2023 07:04

This is why I never took mine to hotels! Far too stressful!

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 07:10

AllOfThemWitches · 14/08/2023 12:53

People like @ZeroFuchsGiven can do one tbh. They have fuck all idea what parenting children with disabilities involves. Hint: it's far harder than one night of broken sleep.

Like I said, you'll get used to other people's intolerance for your disabled kid. Sad but true.

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I honestly do my best to be tolerant of all abilities, however, I'd honestly struggle to accept it was my responsibility to accept a noisy evening/ potentially broken sleep (for more than one night) due to screaming from next door. It's not unreasonable to expect to be able to sleep in a hotel room which I'm paying for surely? Ultimately we all make sacrifices for our children, and while some parents undoubtedly have a harder time, it's also unfair to think others should just accept fairly significant disruption from total strangers because it's routine for you!

Abbimae · 15/08/2023 07:11

Bets on it wasn’t just one squeal….

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

Oatycookies · 15/08/2023 07:18

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 07:10

I honestly do my best to be tolerant of all abilities, however, I'd honestly struggle to accept it was my responsibility to accept a noisy evening/ potentially broken sleep (for more than one night) due to screaming from next door. It's not unreasonable to expect to be able to sleep in a hotel room which I'm paying for surely? Ultimately we all make sacrifices for our children, and while some parents undoubtedly have a harder time, it's also unfair to think others should just accept fairly significant disruption from total strangers because it's routine for you!

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It’s true, I suffered from insomnia during the pandemic and when I have it under control a disrupted night like that can then trigger it again and let me say insomnia can be the caused of mental health issues, weight gain and difficulties with work. You don’t play around with peoples sleep.

I feel sorry for all concerned in this situation but we can’t just dismiss what the other guests went through as a minor inconvenience.

Some people can barely function without a decent night of sleep. Being sleep deprived for some people can mean they struggle to drive, think properly or do various other tasks they can normally do.

I think the hotel should have moved them on the first night.

EbiRaisukaree · 15/08/2023 07:21

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

Lots of adults swimming fast in lanes would be dangerous for your children. There’s a good reason for separating pool users out by size (age) and ability. And it’s not discriminatory - there are plenty of times when the pool can be used by children. It’s not the council swimming baths - the hotel could ban children entirely and it would still be fine, because it’s a private club, essentially.

EhrlicheFrau · 15/08/2023 07:23

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

You're not serious?
Does that mean swimming club sessions are discrimination against non-club members, family fun sessions are discrimination against single folk without kids, lane swimming is discrimination against those who don't like lane ropes, or lifeguard training sessions are discrimination against non-lifeguards? 😆

Sirzy · 15/08/2023 07:24

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

No it’s not discrimination.

it may be hard for some people to realise but the world doesn’t revolve around your children and it’s fine for places to have child free times or even be totally child free.

the attitudes of some parents on here show why it’s needed!

Womencanlift · 15/08/2023 07:27

Elephantsdontlikechocolate · 15/08/2023 07:15

Isn't no children in the pool at certain times age discrimination. Vile either way.

This is peak Mumsnet. Thanks for giving me a laugh this morning 😂😂😂

Bertiesmum3 · 15/08/2023 07:37

If you’re struggling to accept your children’s behaviour is unacceptable when they’re young, I dread to think what they’ll be like as teenagers!
you need to start parenting now and putting boundaries in place ASAP!!

Menomave · 15/08/2023 07:38

As someone already said, people don't complain for one shriek or running about. Have another think - objectively. Are you just so used to it you don't think it's that bad? Some parents seem totally oblivious (I'm not saying that's you).

I often go away for the night with DH - premier inn rather than high end because of our budget. It's really annoying to be woken early (6/7am) by kids upstairs or next door, running around the room (little feet can be surprisingly heavy overhead) or screeching. I've never complained personally but it is irritating

I do think the pool could perhaps be flexible on a case by case basis if they think it's appropriate. If there were genuinely only a couple of people in it and they didn't mind, and if the children wouldn't have got in their way, then they could've allowed it. To me, it's better than them disturbing everyone else in the hotel. But the adults might have been using the pool early exactly because it was quiet - kids tend to be extra loud and screechy in a pool, splashing around, which is fine at normal times but not when adult only

Susannainblue · 15/08/2023 07:44

The pool rule always annoyed me as we would pick hotels purely for the pool. Some hotels carry kids rules up to age 16. We'd want to be up early for a swim before breakfast, then off out for the day. Then maybe another swim before bed. Sometimes kids wouldn't be allowed in until 9am, which would mean swimming right after eating breakfast and it would then be closed to kids before we got back in an evening.

As for the rest, we've always found hotel rooms pretty sound proof and our kids weren't noisy anyway. Running round the lobby would have been an absolute no.

Tiredalwaystired · 15/08/2023 07:53

Lenor · 14/08/2023 23:49

I completely agree OP, but I know a lot of people won’t.

I think it’s time that the silly notion of children being seen and not heard is put behind us. A huge proportion of the population has young children currently, or recently had young children and 100% of the population was once a young child.

I took my young children into a shopping centre today and I was on their case the entire time we were out. Stay next to me, don’t run around, don’t touch that, don’t laugh too loudly. I basically spent the entire time we were out getting them to ‘behave’ and the more I tried the more difficult it became because they are children, and those things don’t come naturally to them. They’re good children… but they were bored, there was a lot of waiting and ultimately they don’t have the ability at 3 and 5 years old to behave like mini adults.

I think when my third was born I really realised how non-child friendly the majority of society is. We have 3 children under 6 years old and there is a large number of things I feel unable to do with them, purely because of society’s expectations that they behave in non-developmentally appropriate ways.

Theres a huge number on this board that have been where you are now.

When you and your children are older you will ALL be saying what others are saying now (including your teenagers), I guarantee it.

Youre in your young family bubble, which can make a parent selfish. It’s normal to feel that way for a short while but you won’t always. There are plenty of places which ARE geared towards children and families, from Pizza Hut, to morning cinema showings, to family swim to soft play but there also needs to be places where other people’s kids don’t need to impinge on everyone else negatively. And there’s the great in between where children behave as appropriately as they can for their age and adults dont bat an eyelid.

Greenwitchhorse · 15/08/2023 07:54

For goodness sake...

Control/educate your children better. People are clearly telling you that the way they behave goes beyond what people are usually prepared to tolerate from young children...
Choose resorts that are specifically for families.

Problem solved.

Ohforfox · 15/08/2023 08:01

My sympathies to you as this sounds tough trying to keep young kids entertained & enjoying a break whilst being respectful to other guests. I must confess though if I had been next to your family I would have been silently disappointed - if I'm going on a nice trip away & there's young kids next to me I'm always a bit ughhh. Now, I have a child & work with kids so I'm not a child hater, but if I'm going somewhere specifically to relax I want peace & quiet - things which don't usually come with young children! Having said that, I wouldn't call & report kids noise - although I'm maybe less sensitive to it due to my job. But yeah, even though I have a kid & they're sometimes annoying I don't want to be hearing/seeing other kids when I'm on a break. Hypocritical I know!

PoshPineapple · 15/08/2023 08:11

When my children were young (at one point 3, 5 & 8) - I honestly think I reached the stage where I just didn't 'hear' how loud they could be when running around together. What I thought was normal was, in hindsight, probably rather loud to the child-free ear. Could that be the case with you?

Also, if other guests were giving you the side-eye/complaining, that's not really the hotel being family-unfriendly, it's just other guests being pissed off with you!

As regards the swimming...I live very close to a Holiday Inn where I pay a substantial membership fee every month to use just the pool. It's adults only between 7 and 9am, and I would be FURIOUS if I had to share this time with kids staying in the hotel, so yes, YABU there...stay out! 😆