To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

I completely agree OP, but I know a lot of people won’t.

I think it’s time that the silly notion of children being seen and not heard is put behind us. A huge proportion of the population has young children currently, or recently had young children and 100% of the population was once a young child.

I took my young children into a shopping centre today and I was on their case the entire time we were out. Stay next to me, don’t run around, don’t touch that, don’t laugh too loudly. I basically spent the entire time we were out getting them to ‘behave’ and the more I tried the more difficult it became because they are children, and those things don’t come naturally to them. They’re good children… but they were bored, there was a lot of waiting and ultimately they don’t have the ability at 3 and 5 years old to behave like mini adults.

I think when my third was born I really realised how non-child friendly the majority of society is. We have 3 children under 6 years old and there is a large number of things I feel unable to do with them, purely because of society’s expectations that they behave in non-developmentally appropriate ways.

No problem with them being seen and heard. I like to see them out playing.... in the right place!
Every problem with them running around and causing a nuisance in a hotel lobby. It's not safe.
Every problem with them being given access to the pool at adult times. I've paid to swim in peace.
Every problem with them making so much noise that we'd have to contact reception at 7am at the weekend. I've paid for a relaxing break.

You always have to check about the swimming pool, it’s often just family swim at certain times, I often email beforehand so I know.
never had any problem with people being annoyed with my three kids and sometimes I’ve travelled with also my sister and her kids so 5 kids altogether but no complaints.

@Ontheclifftop I am with you ONE HUNDRED PER CENT.

I was thinking the same thing. It’s a wider issue, sadly in Britain we are just not a nice, child friendly country in general. Modern parents are helping but I think with the rising elderly population and the Entitled Boomers, there is a prevailing “children should be seen and not heard” attitude that remains.

“But I had easy kids”

such a condescending message

Modern parents are helping What does that mean?

but I think with the rising elderly population and the Entitled Boomers, there is a prevailing “children should be seen and not heard” attitude that remains

So you think the response to the OP, pointing out her being unreasonable were all posted by the elderly?

Entitled Boomers What's that? A band?

Not so. AIIowing chiIdren and being chiId-friendIy are entireIy different. Next time, choose a hoteI that specificaIIy states "chiId-friendIy."

1. Family friendly or not you don't let your children run riot inside communal areas of a hotel.

1. Be considerate of other guests.1

1. Hotel's and guests have the right to have an adult only swim time. Like it or not kids just get in the way when swimmer's swimming the lanes.

YABU. We travel a lot with our kids as both sets of grandparents live abroad so they are used to long drives and hotel stays. Most hotels are very family friendly but your kids have to behave and you need strategies to minimise inconvenience to yourself and others. For instance, we go to breakfast as soon as the kids are up. Just brush hair, throw any clothes on and go. After breakfast, come back and shower/get ready properly. Why faff about trying to entertain/detain them so early? That’s just stressful for all.

Maybe next time stop at a park before arriving to allow the children to let off steam? A hotel lobby isn't the place for that. Your DH could have checked you in while you took them outside for a walk around maybe?

I suspect they are noisier than you think. Now that my kids are more grown up I'm much more sensitive to kids noise than I used to be. I think we just get desensitised being around them all the time, and don't realise just how loud and disturbing they actually are to other people. It's made me wonder if sometimes my kids were more distracting than I thought at times, when they were young.

For one thing, they are more prone to urinate, or god knows what else, right in the pool. No thanks.

Thanks very much! 💐

We also travelled a lot when our 3 DC were younger ( we had 3 children in 3 years) who are now 16, 17 and 19 and they were never unattended and nor did they scream in hotel rooms when they were younger. They had to learn that they cannot behave in a hotel like they do at home. Sorry OP but if there is something that annoys me when I am away at a hotel relaxing, it is unruly and undisciplined children and it’s not the children’s fault, it’s the parents.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune
Exactly. I have kids but take them to appropriate places. I know they don't like a restaurant to keep quiet so I would stress so I take them to a McDonald's or go to a restaurant without them.
Every child is different but you have to respect other people Aswell, it's a compromise

Did the hotel have a pools
with slides and kids toys, kids entertainment, kids clubs, children’s menus etc? If yes, then I would maybe expect more tolerance from other guests, depending on if your kids were as calm as you say they were. If not, YABU - it’s a hotel, that requires a level of formality and it’s a good thing to teach your children that they can’t treat everywhere as if it’s home from home.

You and your brood sound like a total nightmare. You are totally oblivious to how annoying and troublesome your children actually are. There might have been other kids there but they obviously seem to be able to behave or have parents that actually stop them from disturbing other guests.

This is such good advice

Put your rod away.

there is a large number of things I feel unable to do with them, purely because of society’s expectations that they behave in non-developmentally appropriate ways

That’s why soft play, playgrounds, specific child friendly movie sessions, ‘family resorts’, McDonalds etc were developed and exist, so kids can behave in developmentally appropriate ways. It gives parents options and places to take kids. Other places are where kids start and learn how to behave socially for specific situations.

What hotel?

We have 3 children under 6 years old and there is a large number of things I feel unable to do with them, purely because of society’s expectations that they behave in non-developmentally appropriate ways.

Don’t you ever look around and wonder how other parents seem to manage? They encourage and show their children what appropriate behaviour is. That’s development; not letting them run wild.

This.

@Ontheclifftop personally I wouldn’t mind kids that age running around a hotel reception but other people are entitled to react how they like. And also be mindful in public spaces that they can easily run into someone eg. Someone who is visually impaired or has mobility problems. So it’s not the best idea. I don’t have kids but when I worked with them or when I take my godchildren out I’d not let them run around indoor spaces for this reason.

Someone reporting you to reception for a squeal would be absurd but it’s possible they were louder than you thought or you had exceptionally bad luck being next to a very strange person because that would be odd to respond like that to a one off sound. I mean, dang it’s a hotel…there are people having loud sex sometimes so I’d think a tiny child squeal wouldn’t be noteworthy.

In general some people are vile to children in this country though, I was at the south bank with two 9 year old boys I worked with and they were less than a metre away from me and it was not in a crowded area. A very tall old man squeezes in between the two boys and shoved one out the way and he went flying as the man marched off quickly with huge strides. I was absolutely furious but due to the nature of the kids it wouldn’t have been nice for them to see me shouting after the man, so I had to bite my tongue. But then I had a lot of pleasant experiences with the public too like people giving the kids seats on the tube or once when my debit card didn’t work a woman gave them their meal free anyway. Or just being making friendly small talk with them. There are many kind and child friendly people out there too. It’s a funny world and it takes all sorts.

Running around the lobby is a no go ever !!!

For a hotel to call you to say had complaints your kids must have been very noisy

Pools have set times - usually says on website. Did you check