To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

Remember that post a few days ago about people not liking children....this is why .

@RubiRage it's the ideal place to read apparently!

I hear/read how unfriendly UK hotels etc are, and yet I've never once experienced it. Despite having two autistic children, one of whom is hyperactive and the other pretends to be a cat and has frequent meltdowns.

We've arrived at a busy central London hotel with my 6yo DD covered in blood from a hysterical nosebleed, in full meltdown. I made it clear what the problem was and that I was trying to fix it, and kept her in the corner so we'd be out of people's way. We requested a room in a far corner, for noise reasons. The staff made a huge fuss of both kids for our whole stay. Probably because we were clearly trying, kept them from bothering others unnecessarily and remembered manners!

We arrived at a tiny boutique hotel (with very thin walls) covered in vomit (DD didn't do well with peperamis and a long car journey), but we brought Lego, DVDs and audiobooks for the morning. All quiet.

If I know they can't stay quiet, we remove ourselves. I ask for a table tucked in a far corner in restaurants, I take quiet toys EVERYWHERE, I keep a quiet conversation going with both kids pretty much the whole time we are around others so they are occupied. They're frequently reminded other people matter too. There's nowhere much I've not been able to take them, properly prepared.

Seriously, if I can do it then you can. Certainly since you've not mentioned any SEN.

When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.

No wonder they did. How did you think this was in anyway acceptable? Unless you are an entitled parent who thinks the world revolves around your children. It doesn’t!

Bet you are one of those parents who let’s their kids run around restaurants or cafe’s getting under the feet of the waiting staff

I’ve been to hotel receptions with massive lobbies that have sofas, newspapers, fireplaces etc and people are encouraged to use it

Yeah sorry OP, i’m very empthetic with other parents now as I have difficult 2 year old, but I think where you lost people is thinking it’s ok for kids to run around a hotel lobby, with no indication you tried to stop them as you think that was ok.

@WeetabixTowels and it's super quiet?

I don’t expect quiet, I do expect it not to be treated like a playground.

it doesnt mean its family friendly or a playgro9und just because other kids are staying there

ive been to the ritz and saw children does that mean its family frinedly

You sound like my idea of entitled family from hell. Kids should let off steam outside and not in the foyer; I would complain if I could hear them that early and poor staff having to cope with your selfish attitude…

Yes YABU. We stay in hotels all the time, and have done since DD was a baby, and genuinely have never had a bad experience with regard to kid stuff. Many have been very accommodating. On the other hand, private rentals have frequently been a nightmare.

Not being to a Las Vegas hotel lobby then!

Lots of posters have said lobbies should be quiet though. I'm not sure how you have conflated "just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything" with acting as if you're in a playground?

Of course Gleneagles hasn't changed @lovewoola . That's the whole bloody point of the place! As for it being "child friendly", they might advertise as that, but they are certainly not the kind of hotel where kids are allowed everywhere at all times and certainly not one where children running round in the lobby would be welcomed with an indulgent smile by guests or staff.

Your criteria for being "family friendly" is having suites - which seems an odd criteria to me, and not one that would have helped the OP here anyway!

It took her 4 nights to calm down enough in that first room

I honestly do feel for you, @WouldJustlikeaLatte, having a DS with profound SN myself - that's how I came to be wandering around Brighton at 3.30am because he had an ear infection and was screaming the place down - but surely you could spare a thought for how that would have affected everyone else?

Of course our DCs matter, but they're not the only people who do, and personally I would (and did) go home

But I don't think this is 'normal' for most people . I've never been to such a place but I'm willing to bet that the cost is way higher than a premier inn - and out of reach for a lot of people (most people even?) .

@BitOutOfPractice I think you misread my posts. The hotels i've mentioned cater for families, that doesn't just mean they have suites. Why on earth would you think a suite equals a family hotel?

luxuryfamilyhotels.co.uk

You don't think the above is targeting families?

gleneagles.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2023/05/Summer-Activity-Programme_Web.pdf

The Gleneagles summer programme is for who exactly?

Err......... and lots don't

You don't really. You can design a very nice child free life. But when parents of annoying children come into contact with others, they can't pretend to be shocked that those others are annoyed!

Too much of a generalisation @Ontheclifftop The staff in EVERY hotel my family and I have ever stayed in has been lovely to our children.

YABU.

We haven’t taken her to a hotel before or after it was just the only place left with space at short notice. I did think about trying to take her outside but there was no guarantee it would help and we would have to have taken her screaming past lots of other rooms. I fully accept it was disruptive for others I felt really bad but I had no choice and had to be there

@Puzzledandpissedoff well I don't think i'm
not a normal person. Centre parcs isn't cheap but is very popular & lots of holiday threads will have posters spending 6k plus on a summer holiday. And yes it's completely different to a premier inn but they do exist.

Maybe it was the bit where people who were already there got up and moved

@Isittimeformynapyet hence why I didn't say all...

While I appreciate your efforts to be considerate and understand why you do it, I feel it's quite sad that you had to go to such lengths to keep your children quiet, constantly vigilant and having to plan and think ahead and asked to be stuffed in corners out of sight in case your kids make noise and constantly having to remind your kids that others are bothered by them. I'm assuming you're in the UK or a country with a similar attitude to kids. Personally, i'd rather hear your kids.

Not quite 'it takes a village' then...