To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

Lots of posters have said lobbies should be quiet though. I'm not sure how you have conflated "just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything" with acting as if you're in a playground?

Most hotels I've stayed in the lobby has had reasonable passing through, but not a loud space that would lead me to think children running around was acceptable.
Some have had a bar area/sitting area off to one side where guests come down in an evening.

I think families tend to fall loosely into two camps:

• Loud families who think children should be free to run around in most places because noise is normal. I often find families with loud children have loud parents as well, or at the very least parents who are so used to an ongoing din that they don't realise it isn't the norm
• Considerate families who know that children can be noisy, but they expect their children to modify their conduct according to the place. These parents tend to modify their own volume and conduct for the context as well.

I've got no time for cantankerous adults who get annoyed that a family is near them in a restaurant when the family is having perfectly reasonable family conversation, but would have a huge amount of sympathy for anyone trying to enjoy a meal if they're stuck next to a loud family who are stuck on fog horn volume.

It’s not appropriate to run in a lobby. People will be sitting chatting and perhaps working, people carrying luggage. It’s not safe.
If there’s only one adult to 2 children then they need to stand with you. If there’s 2 adults one check in and one wait outside with the children there no need for everyone to queue up.

Nobody can be this entitled/dense, surely 😂😂

No, you can’t allow your feral children to run around screaming and disturbing other people.

No, it’s not okay for your kids to be shrieking before 7am and disturbing other people.

No, your children cannot join the adults only swim session.

I can’t think where they get their bratty behaviour from 🤔

That sounds mega stressful. Did you let the hotel know in advance that she had special needs?

Yes, it is. Running around is not an appropriate activity in a hotel lobby. If you have children, please teach them this.

In one way I agree. Loud people in restaurants though tend to be groups of adults (often drunk) not children.

I think tbh unless your children are like robots as some mumsnetters’ seem to be 3 year olds in most hotels are not relaxing. Unless you let them run riot you have to spend significant amounts of time keeping them under control, which wasn’t fun ime. It’s much better to go places where they can just run off and play in hedges. More relaxing all round.

I didnt mean to imply that children with SEN "are a lost cause" at all, it was shorthand, effectively, for acknowledging that some children might have difficulties meeting certain societal standards. I wouldn't want to judge any parent who's child was having a meltdown due to, for example, being in an unfamiliar environment or sensory overload.

If I wrote out in every post I respond to all the caveats to acknowledge various different circumstances, needs, difficulties etc then nearly every reply I posted would be very long. Apologies for any offence.

In all honesty, I think your children were louder/more disruptive than perhaps you think they were.

Running around and letting off steam in the reception area/lobby isn't OK and for the next room to have complained about the noise suggests it was loud/fairly continuous.

I completely get that some small kids can be hardwork/lively - at 2/3 my son was one of them, so we didn't do hotels. He's 9 now and we are currently staying in a hotel abroad and it's great because he is now much calmer and understands that making noise/running about etc is not appropriate behaviour.

Yes we had requested a ground floor room, enquired about bed guards or if we needed to take our own and let them know why

What that guest said was horrible but surely if you pay good money for a nice relaxing stay at night being kept awake all night by a screaming child would be a bit shit.

The complaint about the room noise is U, they should have decent sound proofing.

YABU about the pool and the lobby. If they have advertised times for adult only then they have to stick to that. And kids running around a lobby is a hazard.

Of course you're being unreasonable. A hotel lobby isn't a suitable place to let your kids "let off steam". I choose dog friendly hotels a lot of the time and wouldn't allow my dogs to tear around the public spaces because they want to run after being cooped up in the car.

At 7am hotels are deadly quiet. Allowing your children to shriek is not OK. The sound will carry to multiple rooms. I don't quite believe one solitary shriek would be enough to make somebody complain about you, either.

Generally, hotel leisure facilities and gyms are available for members who pay a handsome price for the privilege. Part of the compromise to those members is to provide adult only swim times, because not everybody wants to swim with splashing, shouting children in the pool. It's the same principle as having dedicated lane swimming times.

Do your research in future and see what's available at a hotel before you book.

As an adult who holidays without children I avoid any hotel that mentions a kids club or is clearly ‘child friendly’.

I do think hotels that offer gym membership can sometimes be a bit sneaky to hotel guests though.

I recently stayed somewhere where I knew they were offering swimming lessons from 4-7, so I went down a full hour before only to discover that a private client was due to be taught at 3.30pm and half of the rather small pool was cordoned off for that.

Equally stayed in a very expensive hotel in Jersey and the gym shut at lunchtime some days, also as guests rather than members when we did manage to get there when it was open, we had to fill in a ridiculous questionnaire and were treated very much as second class citizens compared to members who were checking in.

The hotel are at fault then. Nothing for you to feel bad about.

She didn't at 7am

Don't say bratty that's mean.

@AsianRose it's not as bad as it sounds. I make sure to always have quiet toys in every bag and coat, factor in plenty of food/drink/breaks, and just... keep being present with them, really. If they get to meltdown stage, or if they're behaving inappropriately for the environment, they aren't happy either. No one likes being glared at, and they do like staff making a fuss of them and giving them extra treats (not uncommon, honestly).

We do tailor where we go to their mood though. If we're doing a cafe I'll ask them if they want a quiet grown up posh cafe or a loud Costa/McDonalds.

They aren't made to feel bad about being themselves! Just reminded to read the room, because it's not innate when you are ASD. I'd never, ever stop them stimming, flapping etc, I never make them pretend to be neurotypical, but they're happier too if no one is staring. Plus, as I say, the treats.... almost every hotel seems to have treats behind the counter!

In the Op's lobby example if I couldn't take my kids back outside they'd probably jump around, crawl around my feet, make up silly rhymes about burps, sit on my feet and rock. All of which are fine as long as they are on/by me with space from anyone else, and a moderate volume.

In the kindest way - If you're spending all day every day with your kids, you probably don't realise how disruptive they're being. Running around the hotel reception room is not okay - and I can't imagine someone would have gone to the trouble of calling reception for one single squeal.

Another thread about badly behaved children

Is it something in the air?

The OP is aggrieved because she believes the hotel should have made an exception for her children and let them swim during a period they reserve for adults.
I think that says everything that needs to be said about who is most likely to be unreasonable in the scenarios she finds herself in.

Your kids sound annoying!

To the earlier poster who said she lets her children run up and down the corridors as they only giggle. Please don’t !

It's a perfectly good word which does not get used enough in my view.