To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

are you seriously recommending Gleneagles as a family friendly hotel? I don't know what planet you live on, but it's not the same as mine. And yes I've stayed there

Yes, unless it's changed since we stayed there!

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.

This was unreasonable of you. Take them outside to blow off steam, unless either of your children have SEN then there's really no reason to allow that sort of behaviour, family hotels or not.

Disappointing about the pool but the employee wouldn't be allowed to make exceptions for you.

Self catering or holiday cottage.

But there are also adult only hotels? Surely people can go there if listening to children is so awful.
I wouldn't mind them running around in reception

Yes they are but surely that’s the point? Hotels are for adults unless it’s marketed as a family hotel

have you been to gleneagles??? Ignoring the fact its £750+ for a room.

Yes, I have repeatedly said the type of family hotels I have linked are not cheap. They are not the Premier Inn but nonetheless they exist...

Even if it is a family friendly hotel that doesn’t mean children are free to run riot and disturb others!

Bit late when you are already in the hotel though, isn't it?

They defo still cater for families

gleneagles.com/stay/family-rooms/

YABU to lump all hotels into one, as if every hotel were the same

Obviously YABVVVVVU to let your kids run riot in the lobby.

I suspect if someone in another room complained about noise, you are really kidding yourself about the amount of noise your dc were making

Having adult only swim at times in the hotel is to be expected and very sensible. I can't believe you are complaining that the staff wouldn't let you break that rule, just because you are entitled enough to think the rules don't apply

I do agree that most hotels aren't suitable for dc, and I consider that to be a good thing. I've done my years of "child friendly" things. I now want my time away to not be disturbed by other people's children - especially those poor children whose parents think the world ought to revolve around the children, rather than the parents, actually parenting.

I would never choose to book into hotels with dc that age - it is not really relaxing to make sure small dc aren't disturbing other guests. We always booked somewhere we could self cater. Nowadays there are many more options and it is so much easier to book places that are suitable for small dc.

Jesus Christ, the poster has clarified in the thread that her child is disabled and this was a last minute trip where she needed someone to stay due her father dying. Have some compassion fgs.

This 'unless the children have SEN' caveat I keep seeing all over MN is also completely ridiculous in most cases.

Even, and especially, if a child has additional educational needs, they need parenting and to be taught what's acceptable behaviour and how to follow routines appropriate to the environments they are in.

They're not a lost cause who should be expect to be disliked. They need extra help.

I really do get where everyone is coming from with not wanting to be disturbed by young kids in hotels, and I would be very paranoid about bringing my 2 year old to a hotel.

However, I will also say that in my personal experience, it’s been other adult guests that have been more of a problem. Noise late at night/early hours, or loud sex through the walls as just a start.

I simply was making the point that staying in a hotel with dc doesn't have to mean switching the lights off & sitting in the dark all evening because dc are asleep.

It does have family rooms and it does say it is a family friendly hotel. It does, though, also have 'Adult Only' areas and 'children's areas' in the wider hotel facilities. It is very expensive though and many people could not afford it, let's be honest!

@5128gap

People are intolerable of any disturbance that's excessive or inappropriate to the environment. So a rowdy group of adults in an otherwise peaceful pub would absolutely be subject to raised eyebrows from those wanting a quiet drink.
However I do think some of the intolerance arises from the gradual erosion of adult only spaces. At one time children and pubs were entirely separate things, so the problem wouldn't have occurred. Obviously parents are fully entitled to take children to pubs now they are permitted to, but given there is a huge choice of places that are both more fun and more geared up for children to enjoy, it does beg the question why they want to.

@ZeroFuchsGiven

Pubs are not made for children I absolutely would would be rolling my eyes at kids making a nuisance of themselves in a pub.

The UK culture has changed and most pubs are welcoming of families now. At one time women weren't welcome in pubs but times change! And I was not talking about children making a nuisance of themselves, of course that's unpleasant and the parents should deal with it, I seen children do very little like laugh out loud once and heads whip round and lots of frowns. I have also had people on other tables constantly watching my children almost as though they are monitoring us. Obviously not all pubs are like this and some people are more easy going, but it happens. I have also watched groups of people (well men usually) talking and laughing really loudly (not necessarily being rowdy just noisy) so that those around them have to raise their voices to be heard and you do occasionally get that one very loud person. We took ours out for meals in pubs and met friends with children there because we like going to nice places to eat and have decent food and our dc seemed to enjoy it, learnt how to behave in public and were well behaved. Several times we were complimented on their good behaviour.

Nah you were taking the piss, I would have complained myself if I was next door to your room you at 7 (ISH), you SERIOUSLY underestimated how loud your little darlings were "excitingly screaming" at the crack of dawn.
Letting your kids run riot in a lobby "letting off steam" is poor parenting. Surely one of you could have looked after 2 small kids when the other checked in.
Expecting the pool staff to break the rules for you because you have already been complained about is entitled as feck.
You haven't a leg to stand on.

I disagree it's always possible to do this. You don't know what children done the rest of the day. Maybe they've been travelling through airports, etc. It could literally be 10+ hours of travelling the kid was expected to manage good behaviour. All children need to blow off steam so where is appropriate - the airport check in? On the plane? On the airport shuttle? The hotel lobby? You can't take them outside if it's on a busy street.

And how can the parent take all this time to regulate the child when they have bags to manage that they can't abandon? And need to complete the check in process and wait in the queue?

In a perfect world yes - but realities of small children are that things won't always be great. Sometimes a parent is just doing the best they can. I'm sure all parents would love it if their small children would wait patiently next to them in queues. At least the other adults have the choice of leaving and going somewhere else 😂.

also check in is normally a process that takes a few minutes.

The answer is never letting them run around in a hotel lobby.

it may not be easy but there is always a way to figure these things if parents can be bothered to put some thought into it. if you know it’s a full day of travel that makes it all the more important to plan for how they can safely let of some steam.

bluebird3
When I travel with young children it's entirely my responsibility to plan for the fact they're young. It's my job to support them appropriately with the travel arrangements.

Nobody expects children to behave perfectly all the time, but there's a world away from a child standing perfectly in a queue and charging around a hotel lobby to the point other guests leave the area.

Even if we're charitable because things can occasionally blow up, an otherwise considerate parent might have had a nightmare in the lobby as they're struggling to juggle everything, but they'd at least be trying to do something about it rather than allowing the behaviour. They'd not be ok Mumsnet having multiple issues with their children staying somewhere.

My general approach with parents is that most of us have had a situation now and then where DC have been challenging or we've struggled to juggle. That's life. If a parent seems to regularly have issues with other people commenting on their children then the chances are that their children really are inappropriately loud.

My experience is that people in the UK are very child unfriendly in public. I remember the sighs and eye rolling and general passive aggressiveness when kids were kids. It was quite 'children should be seen and not heard' and an expect they behave as little adults.

I currently live in a country where children are indulged and valued. Of course, bad behaviour wouldn't be accepted - and children are actually generalyl well behaved - but some normal child behaviour would actually be enjoyed - people really get pleasure from seeing children. No one would dream of complaining about a child making noise and certainly if children were running around a bit in a lobby (if in the way you describe OP), people would smile at them and laugh or even tease/play with them. I love that aspect of living here - it makes parenting so much less stressful.

I’m baffled by the comments that reception at a hotel is a relaxing place. How can this be? There are people checking in & out 24/7, rummaging through their massive suitcases, & bags in search of whatever it is they appear to have lost, then there’s the many nationalities all talking loudly, & at the same time, oh & OP’s kids dancing round everyone.

I can only imagine that whoever never heard any noise from the next room must be a very heavy sleeper, or very, very, deaf, drank far too much the night before, or has never done much traveling.

Kids do annoy, but adults are far much worse by not controlling them. Or in some cases they make far more noise than the kids.

Mine is 12 now but I would never have allowed her to run around in a hotel lobby. She'd have got the arm grab and the angry hiss of "be quiet, not everyone wants to listen to you!" Ditto yelling in the room. Hotel rooms are pretty soundproof so if someone complained then your kids were not playing very quietly and 7 am is hideous if you don't have kids. All hotels I've ever stayed at have kid-free times on the pool and it is normally the early slot so that the gym bunnies can get a work-out / swim before work.

You are BU.

Children are part of society so wether you like it or not you pretty much have to embrace it.

Fwiw, within reason I find the reaction from previous posters about the hotel lobby incredibly OTT. Unless they were running into people, its really not a big deal