To think hotels are very child unfriendly

[Ontheclifftop]

We've just come back from a weekend away in a hotel with dd aged 5 and ds aged 3. Three incidents really made me realise how unwelcoming hotels are to young families:

1. When we were checking in after a long drive the kids were letting off a bit of steam. I know how that sounds, but they were just running around a bit, not getting in anyone's way or anything. Two people who were sitting on couches reading newspapers got up and left, one sighing heavily and one giving us a dirty look.
2. At about 7ish the following morning we got a call from reception to say the people in the next room were complaining about the noise. Again I know how that sounds, but dd and ds were playing quietly with some teddies. DS let out one squeal of excited laughing but other than that they were perfectly fine.
3. Following that call I said I'd take them down to the swimming pool as I knew it opened early. When I got down the attendant said it was adult only between 7.30 and 9.00. I explained about the phone call and pointed out there were only 2 people in the pool and I'd do my best to ensure we'd stay down at the shallow end and not get in their way. But he refused to let us in.

The whole thing really pissed me off. What are you supposed to do with young children in a hotel? If they play quietly in the room someone complains. If you try to use the facilities to keep them occupied, you're told you can't.

AIBU to feel hotels are just totally unwelcoming to young families nowadays?

I think the hotel was fair enough but that does seem a bonkers time to have the adults only session - that to me would be the time to have the children’s session, and adult only in the late afternoon / evening.

Who wants to get up that early if they don’t have children?

People swimming before work. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah I was thinking this, one shriek might wake you but hopefully you'll doze back off, sustained noise will keep you awake, make you get up and call reception! At least they did that rather than banging on the wall or confronting you at the door!

DD would be kept quiet with screen time and I’d never let her ‘run off steam’ in a hotel lobby! Either me or DH would take her outside to do so, you were really rude! Sounds like Air B&Bs would be a better option for your family going forward.

I suppose between the two is

1. how the hotels are marketed, and
2. an element of “live and let live”, ie groups making allowance for each other

But also people do like to shoot down whatever an OP says, regardless of what it is

Oh, and Gleneagles has won a bunch of awards for being one of the top family hotels in the country.

I would have imagined that swimming after work would be more popular, and would also give leisure travellers a chance for a child free swim.

Whilst kids are early risers and could do with a morning swim.

But what do I know!

Hotel pools are usually open to public too as part of a gym membership.
So early morning and possibly lunch is adult time to swim lengths.
I do think it’s easier if you go with absolute nos eg you don’t ever run in a hotel lobby much easier for a child to understand.

I wouldn't get too upset by it OP. My kids are similar. I do my best to be considerate but despite what some posters seem to think children can't always regulate themselves at all times. Before kids I was annoyed by small children. Now my kids annoy other people. Then when mine are grown I can be annoyed again. It's the circle of life.

It's also not a playground.
A hotel lobby is not somewhere a child should be running around!

The fact that you got the call from reception at 07:00 implies they'd been making noise (that the other room could hear) since earlier than that. Personally I would be furious if I got woken up by other people's children even at 07:00 never mind before that, whilst I was on holiday.

And it's perfectly normal to have a slot in the pool that's adults only, I really don't know why you think they should change the rules just because 'there were only 2 people' in the pool at that time - do those two people not have equal right as some unspecified larger number of people, to a child-free swim?

The specific things you've raised and the fact that twice you said 'I know how that sounds' makes me think that really, you actually don't know, you have no clue, as you come across as an incredibly entitled parent and I suspect your children are noisy. Nothing wrong with children being noisy in the appropriate place, but I don't think a nice, not obviously and explicitly family-oriented, hotel is one of those places.

I wouldn't get too upset by it OP. My kids are similar. I do my best to be considerate but despite what some posters seem to think children can't always regulate themselves at all times. Before kids I was annoyed by small children. Now my kids annoy other people.

Nobody expects children to self-regulate all the time though.

They expect parents to actively parent their children.

Children charging around a hotel reception lobby isn't an issue of regulation. It's a consequence of parents who enable and reinforce that behaviour.

If a child in a hotel lobby was struggling to self-regulate, the role of the parent is to support them and co-regulate, and if need be have a change of scenery, not let the children charge around.

My local lesiure centre has lots of for kids (inc soft play, bday parties and dance class). But even they allocate 7-9am for adult swimmers who go before work (including me) and the small teaching pool doesn’t open until 9. Very usual to go swimming before work rather than after work.

Not for workers who may be staying in the hotel overnight and working during the day! When I work away from home, I'll usually have a swim first thing in the morning before setting off for work. It's pretty standard really - quiet time before a working day!

A 4* hotel we used to visit regularly because of its location used to sell family packages in school holidays. It was a nightmare because the family friendly activities took place in the lounge where people were trying to enjoy afternoon tea etc. Probably unaware that they were about to be part of the Easter egg hunt with children climbing all over them.

They sold expensive spa days using the same pool as the families would use.

Try these hotels - super child friendly and really nice, we love them!

https://luxuryfamilyhotels.co.uk/

Well, quite. The busiest times for the pool I went to were 6-8am and the adults-only lunch slot. Evening was busy but not as busy as those two times.

Some people seem to confuse ‘family friendly’ for ‘no parenting required’.

I’d have thought of you were going to shower and wash your hair you’d do it in the morning after a swim. (Water phobic so it makes no odds to me.)

My child has never woken up early unless ill. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Perhaps if you policed your children better people would not walk away from them of call reception about them. There is no way someone called reception over one squeal and as for the 'running off steam' business kids are not meant to run around hotel lobbys no matter what the reason. As for early morning adult swimming I think it is perfect and me and dp choose hotels that a pretty much kid unfriendly when we go for a weekend break for this reason. I dont want to go to a pool for a few morning laps and have kids messing about in it. I think you need to look for more child friendly hotels in future.

You say ‘I know how that sounds’, but I don’t think you do.

Your version of ‘letting off steam’ is clearly other people’s ‘unruly kids making a bloody racket’.

I have kids, but I generally go to hotels to relax, if not for work. It pisses me off when kids dominate and make a complete racket in a calm space. My gym/spa resort is now overrun by unchecked children these days and so I won’t be renewing my membership.

I’m not particularly ‘kids should be seen and not heard’ but in luxury, expensive, adult spaces, I am. There’s lots of wonderful hotels that really cater for families, try one of those.

We’ve had fabulous stays in Spain, Portugal, Italy and southern France, where it is both high end and family friendly.

This post wins the entitlement of the year award.

Inconvenience 2 sets of people so your two year wont be disturbed ? Ffs !

I thought the same when I read that. I also wouldn’t have thought that the Blakeney Hotel is particularly family friendly either!

The fact that you tried to still enter the pool during the adult only times and argue with the staff member suggests to me that you’re probably being unreasonable with the other stuff as well. Separate slots for kids are very normal and sensible.

Hotels can be quite hard going with young children- timings just don’t tend to fit that well with other guests and sharing a room can be a bit stressy at the best of times.

The scary thing is is that these snowflakes that are being raised will be the ones looking after us in our old age.